Out of My Mind
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
The Sound of the Opposite of Silence
Why is it, that in day to day life, I find it hard to understand what most people are saying, but while watching TV I have to put it on mute when the commercials come on because the sound seems so blaring and unbearably loud? Alternately, when the program comes on I have to blast the sound so that I can hear what people are saying? A riddle that is.
Saturday, March 01, 2014
Denial
I don't always go down the road into denial land, but when I do it's not a meandering short stroll, it's a headlong, full speed ahead rush. And it's not a day trip.. oh no, it's a multiple months' long journey.
In October of last year I was at the Doctor's for my quarterly diabetes check up and was told my weight was up a bit as well as my A1C's. So instead of putting on my big girl panties and making adjustments in my eating, etc, I decided to get my big girl panties in a bunch and turned my back on reality and even sanity itself. How can a relatively intelligent woman of 62 be so stupid and destructive you might ask? Well it ain't easy but I persevered. I went off of my diet, started eating all the wrong foods and was stupid enough to quit taking my Victoza injections. Yeah, that stupid. And the cherry on top is that since October I haven't been checking my blood sugars.
Lucky for me I had the balls to keep my appointment, a few weeks ago, for my blood test and last week for my appointment. The news wasn't good, I had gained around 5 pounds and my A1C's were bad, very bad. Normal blood sugars are usually between 5 and 7-8. When I got home I checked mine, finally, and they were 16, later that day they were 17 and that night they were 20!!! I was panicked... This is serious business, not to be fooled with. All the bread, sweets and candy were wrecking havoc with my blood sugars.
I finally opened my eyes and am making the slow, painful journey back from the brink. I have an appointment with the nurse from the Diabetes Association a week from Tuesday and I have started my injections again and am watching what I am eating. I might have been stupid but a least I didn't STAY stupid. I'm getting some better reading, with a reading of 8.5 yesterday before supper and today I even had a 7.7 before lunch and an 8.3 after. But now that my sugars are down so much I'm feeling like they are too low and have been feeling shaky and off. Although I still have a ways to go I'm hoping that I didn't do any permanent damage to myself.
I have an appointment at the ophthalmologist on Monday so here's hoping that my eyes are ok. God watches out for the insane and little children or so they say.
In October of last year I was at the Doctor's for my quarterly diabetes check up and was told my weight was up a bit as well as my A1C's. So instead of putting on my big girl panties and making adjustments in my eating, etc, I decided to get my big girl panties in a bunch and turned my back on reality and even sanity itself. How can a relatively intelligent woman of 62 be so stupid and destructive you might ask? Well it ain't easy but I persevered. I went off of my diet, started eating all the wrong foods and was stupid enough to quit taking my Victoza injections. Yeah, that stupid. And the cherry on top is that since October I haven't been checking my blood sugars.
Lucky for me I had the balls to keep my appointment, a few weeks ago, for my blood test and last week for my appointment. The news wasn't good, I had gained around 5 pounds and my A1C's were bad, very bad. Normal blood sugars are usually between 5 and 7-8. When I got home I checked mine, finally, and they were 16, later that day they were 17 and that night they were 20!!! I was panicked... This is serious business, not to be fooled with. All the bread, sweets and candy were wrecking havoc with my blood sugars.
I finally opened my eyes and am making the slow, painful journey back from the brink. I have an appointment with the nurse from the Diabetes Association a week from Tuesday and I have started my injections again and am watching what I am eating. I might have been stupid but a least I didn't STAY stupid. I'm getting some better reading, with a reading of 8.5 yesterday before supper and today I even had a 7.7 before lunch and an 8.3 after. But now that my sugars are down so much I'm feeling like they are too low and have been feeling shaky and off. Although I still have a ways to go I'm hoping that I didn't do any permanent damage to myself.
I have an appointment at the ophthalmologist on Monday so here's hoping that my eyes are ok. God watches out for the insane and little children or so they say.
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