Out of My Mind

I have neglected you so.

2011-12-15T00:00:00.001-04:00

I don't blame you if you no longer want to talk to me my Dear Blogger, I have left you to gather cobwebs and acquire a strange odour... *what is that unpleasant smell? I think it may be the dead mouse I found in my closet in a humane trap that didn't turn out to be so humane when I forgot to check it until I smelled a sweet, sick odour coming from it today. I ended up throwing out the trap with the mouse because it smelled so bad. ewww.

I am again among the unemployed. A week ago I told Ron that we had to find some other way to pay the bills besides me working and if it involves selling the house then so be it. I am in a lot of pain from my back as well as a new problem with my rotator cuff so I don't think it's worth it to be in pain ever day for a minimum wage, part time job. Ron said that we are paying down a bunch of bills and that we should be able to handle me not working if we are careful with our money. I have an appointment with the physiotherapist on Friday to start some exercises for my shoulder so we shall see if I get any relief.

With me not working the amount of money that I can give for gifts is reduced in half and what Ron decided to do with his family is to donate turkeys to the turkey drive for needy families. So he ended up getting 14 turkeys, one for his kids, grandkids and his sister and mother to donate in their names. I have a pretty special husband don't you think?

If I don't see you again before Christmas my dear readers, may yours be merry and bright.

Hidden Gem

2011-09-21T10:39:00.001-03:00

We have been without satellite tv for a few months now and we decided at the time we got them to disconnect that we would get Netflix to watch movies for a lot less per month than we were paying for satellite service. In looking through the available movies last week I came across some TV listings and noticed previous seasons of "Being Erica". Being that it was playing for 3 seasons and I haven't seen even one episode, I decided to give it a watch from the beginning. I was very pleasantly surprised by what I saw. It's a quirky, emotional, very entertaining series and I'm already on season 3 and would like to finish catching up before Monday when I get to see the new season. I'm afraid I missed the first show of the new season but I can live with that. Being that it's a Canadian series set in Ontario makes it even better.

Today was the day...

2011-07-21T22:00:00.000-03:00

Today was the big day. Ron and I made it official today and exchanged vows. It was a small ceremony with just ourselves and the two witnesses with a short and sweet ceremony and a nice meal afterwards.. Here are a few pictures with possibly more to follow. The picture quality on some are not too great because it seems that whenever I get pictures taken with my camera at a special occasion they never turn out very good.

An amazing sunset the other night...

2011-07-20T13:55:00.000-03:00

There was an amazing sunset the other night.. I managed to snap a few photos...

which flowers should I choose????

2011-07-20T13:46:00.000-03:00

The wedding is tomorrow and I can't decide which flowers to use in the bouquet.. I have four colours of lilies to choose from but can't decide.. here are the choices... [click to see full size photos]

We have a vibrant yellow lily....

A yellow and orange combination...

A beautiful shiny orange...

and a deep, passionate red colour... I need help in choosing!!

I now have the dress for the wedding...

2011-07-20T00:46:00.000-03:00

With the wedding in a couple of days I was leaving it down to the last possible minute.. lol. But I have picked out my dress. We're doing a wedding on a budget with recycled rings [we were both married before], borrowed dress for the wedding dress, and flowers grown in my own garden. This is the dress I'm wearing that I borrowed from my niece who is also my witness.. thank you Natasha!!! Click on the pictures to see them enlarged.

The dress is a simple shift dress but it looks wonderful on and I'm also borrowing a beautiful set of pearls to wear with the dress and also the shawl that is in the pictures also. The shawl is taupe which goes wonderfully with the off white dress. The dress has sequins on it that show up best in the first picture because they sparkle all rainbow colours under the right light.

"The" plans

2011-06-20T20:25:00.000-03:00

I have been told a time or two in my life to "Never say never" and it is once again coming true. I had said that I would never get married again and here I am making plans to tie the knot once again next month. Since Ron and I have been together for 10 years [as of July 1st] we thought, what the heck, and decided to make it legal. We're just exchanging vows, no one will be there except the two witnesses... there will be no party afterwards, just a nice meal for the four of us after the nuptials. There will be some pictures but the whole process shouldn't take more than 10 to 15 minutes. We are recycling rings, Ron has one from one of his two previous weddings and mine is my ex's ring that I had resized for a total of $35.00. I'm borrowing a dress to wear and hope my Stargazer lilies are in bloom for my bouquet. We have our license, paid for the justice of the peace and the total for everything should even out to around $500.00, less than what people would pay for the engagement ring alone [we aren't bothering with that ring, just the wedding band]. So it's a practical, level headed process. Over the last ten years we have had all the romantic gestures our hearts could want.. and both of us don't want muss or fuss so we are left with practical, so in essence, that is the romantic part.

The "Dog" Whisperer

2011-06-20T19:29:00.000-03:00

This is literally the story of the "Dog" whisperer, that is my dog, Tinka, the Shiatsu/Pekingese mix who is a total of 12 pounds + has a way with animals that are huge!! Like big, scary horses or cattle that like to rub noses with her. She amazes me because these animals seem to be drawn to her and her to them. She never barks at them and she seems to think that they are overgrown dogs or something. She is a wonder dog.

Making a list and checking it twice...

2011-06-17T15:41:00.000-03:00

decided to get married *check
picked the date *check
got copies of needed documentation *check
picked the witnesses*check
picked the location *check
decided on a Justice of the Peace *check
recycled and resized my ring *check
got the marriage license *check
picked what vows to recite *check
decided what to wear x nope, not yet
got flowers x nope but hoping my star gazer lilies are in bloom when the day arrives next month
decided where to take the witnesses after the short, but sweet ceremony x nope but we have a month to decide

A sad goodbye.

2011-05-24T13:49:00.000-03:00

Ron's 21 month old grandson died yesterday. It was so sad but at the same time was a relief that he's finally at peace.

RIP little Charlie.

Growing up

2011-05-24T13:29:00.002-03:00

I had a doctor's appointment today for a followup on the fact that I had increased my dosage of Victoza the last time from .6 mg to 1.2 mg, so it's been doubled. I still haven't started to lose weight again but good news is that my blood sugars are back down into the normal range. Normal is below 7 and my readings on my A1C's were 6.4, down from my last readings which were 6.9 so they were on the verge of being over normal. So that gave me some comfort.

I told Michelle, the nurse who has been with me during this whole process and who is a nurse practitioner, that I'm unsure what I should do, whether I should increase the Victoza again to the highest dosage of 1.8 [which will be very expensive] or stay on the dosage I'm on now and see if I can get my head in the right place to start eating right. She told me it's entirely up to me whether I should do that or not but that I'm on the injections mainly for my blood sugars and that it is doing the job because my blood sugars are perfectly normal. She also said that I'm being too hard on myself and that I know what to do because I've done it before and that is to get my eating back on track.

I agree that it's something that I have to work out in my head and that the Victoza is not going to do it for me, I have to do the work. I also feel like there is a weight lifted off of my shoulders because, even though I'm not eating properly, the medication is working and imagine how much better it will work once I take control of my life again. Losing the weight isn't the end of it, it's just the beginning because the rest of my life I will have to be diligent to maintain the weight loss because I know how easy it is to slip back into the old habits and to put the weight back on before you know it, even to the point of gaining more weight.

I know that I don't have to rush to take the weight off today because it took me 60 years to put it on and what makes me think that I could take it off in a couple of months? Pretty arrogant I'd say.. lol. I've been struggling since I came off of the clinical study with my cravings and my mind set that I'm somehow entitled to eat whatever I want. Crazy thinking that I've been trying hard to overcome. In a way it was a mixed blessing that the first injections worked so well so quickly because I've been expecting these ones to do the same so that I don't even have to try.. well it's been a rude awakening but a learning experience as well. I don't know, I may finally be growing up, maybe?

Stay Below the Radar

2011-05-02T16:50:00.000-03:00

Over the last few days something rotten is afoot and as we all know, rotten feet can be quite unpleasant. You see, it's election day in Canada today and the political parties are trying to vie for our votes. We got a call a couple of days ago when I was at work from the Conservatives wanting to verify that I gave them permission to put a sign on our lawn. Ron told them that he was sure that I would not do that but they said for me to call them back as soon as I got home from work because they have word that I had given said permission in a phone call.

Now Ron is aware that I would rather have bamboo shoots under the finger nails than have a Conservative sign even within sight of our home. But I called them as soon as I came through the door and said "No, under no circumstances would I want their sign on my lawn!!"

Well, as we are aware, the Conservatives don't like to admit that they have made a mistake so I am now in their radar and on their list for "special" treatment. Multiple times a day I have been getting spam phone calls from Stevie and his cronies because they believe I'm so in love with him and want him to continue his dictatorship. I have also received flyers every day addressed to me personally from the sleaze.. I feel so dirty!!

So Canada, please, please, please get it right this time and vote in someone, anyone else, than Stephan Harper!! But do vote, because if you don't, than they will win and we will lose. Also, vote smart, if there is a close race between a Conservative and another candidate, vote the one that has a chance of gaining a seat over the Cons... Let his reign of terror finally come to an end!

The cuteness factor

2011-03-08T00:04:00.000-04:00

We had the electricians in today to install our heavy wiring for our new electric heat and our dog, Tinka, a Pekingese/Shiatsu mix decided to do her Rambo impersonation. At first she was cute with her charging the baby gate in the kitchen, yapping and generally being all macho. And then she became a nuisance. I'm not sure exactly what the tipping point was but there must be some kind of formula to determine where it occurred. Something like [cuteness] by [ fluffiness] minus [dirty feet] divided by [sharpness of bark] by [% of sleep previous night] = [degree of irritation] / [cuteness factor] or something like that.

The perfect storm...

2011-02-26T20:28:00.000-04:00

There is a perfect storm going on.. not outside.. but in my body. You see, I have the flu.. and I've started a new medication, which, as it turns out is conflicting with my present medication.. and the flu. The new medication is to replace the injections I was taking last year when I was on a clinical study for an injectable medication for weight loss and diabetes. It was a 6 month study that was over in November. Well, since I have been off of it I have gained back 10 of the 45 pounds that I lost, and my blood sugars have increased as well... not a good thing. So my doctor put me back on the injections, well, not the ones I was on before because they still aren't available in Canada, these new ones are a once-a-day kind instead of once-a-week. Also these new injections are easier to take because they are premixed and you just need to place a needle on the end of the pen device and inject.. easy peasy with no mixing, or measuring or removing of bubbles that form from the mixing etc.

Now back to the perfect storm scenario.. I am on a medication from the pain clinic that is supposed to help with the pain in my back. And one tiny, tiny problem with it is that it... wait for it... it.... has the side effect of weight gain and increased appetite... and that sort of defeats the purpose of the injections that reduce weight and decrease appetite don't you think? So next week, when I go to the pain clinic, I'm going to tell them to take me off of the pain meds... I figure once I lose more weight then the strain on my back should decrease even more and besides, I don't plan on working much past my birthday in July anyway. And when I'm at home I can manage the pain better because I can walk when I need to and rest when I need to.

Now if I can just get rid of this terrible flu and stop running to the bathroom I think I'll be able to make it!

Eagle Sighting

2011-01-19T10:13:00.000-04:00

We came home Monday and there was an eagle flying in circles over our house, very close to it, about 10 feet from the roof. It circled a few times, I so wish that I had had my camera with me at the time because it would have made a wonderful photo. Thank goodness our dog and cat weren't outside at the time.

Here are a couple of photos of it after it had landed on the neighbour's tree. The pictures aren't that clear but you can see it in the centre of the photo at the very tip of the tree.

(if you want to see the images larger just click on them)

In this photo you can see that there is a crow that was flying at the eagle, cheeky little bastard, and then the eagle took off after the crow, I'm not sure if it caught it or not because they flew out of sight behind the neighbour's house.

Wrong.. Wrong.. Wrong

2011-01-13T09:47:00.001-04:00

I had to admit recently that I was wrong.. well, not wrong exactly, but mistaken, yeah that has a better ring to it.. mistaken. I don't see wrong as a way to describe myself or my actions. I was told years ago that I was stubborn, yeah right, and passive-aggressive. Well the passive-aggressive one I can attribute to my late mother, she had the passive-aggressive thing down to a science. I remember her saying to my father on more than one occasion when they were having a disagreement "yeah, you're right, whatever." when they were arguing... meaning, I'll agree with you just to shut you the fuck up... is that passive-aggressive?... hmmmm maybe. And the stubborn thing.. well, I was told that right before I got married to my now ex that I was stubborn and so was he and that we should work on that but what do young, early 20's people know about working on themselves, not much apparently because I couldn't see that trait in myself until many years later and that combined with passive-aggressive.. well, I pity my poor ex for having to deal with that from me, especially since I felt like the one put upon. But now, many years later, I can admit that I was mistaken, I would say that's progress, don't you think? Oh and the mistaken thing, I had to admit to Ron that CBC radio was better to listen to than the local radio station that had music from the 70's, 80's etc.. and it actually flexes my brain muscle... which is good at my age. So whenever I'm in the car driving to and from work I have the radio set to CBC radio and find the time passes so much more quickly.

Well I bow to public opinion...

2010-11-20T09:17:00.000-04:00

I have changed my background from a red to a reddish brown and I do like how it shows up my photos. I don't like the kind of back that stands still while the text scrolls.. don't know why but I just don't.

I saw a couple of coworkers from my previous job yesterday and I have to say that I'm glad I have the job I have and that I'm not working in Government any more. Money is no substitute for peace of mind.

The Torture of Indecision..

2010-11-17T14:40:00.000-04:00

I've wanted to have a change in my blog for a while now but I just can't seem to get the look I want so if anyone finds the red of the present background hard on the eyes just leave me a comment and I'll change it to a soothing green or blue.. or maybe pink.

The Obligatory Gift

2010-11-15T10:36:00.004-04:00

I went to a banquet on Saturday night ("I" being myself and Ron) that was honouring the retirees from Provincial Government, myself included. There was a lovely turkey dinner and we were presented with a plaque and a "gold" watch. Very nice and except for our server being snarky because we didn't fork out $40.00 for a bottle of wine at our table, the evening went better than expected.. lol.

Went to Halifax to see the back specialist...

2010-11-15T10:28:00.002-04:00

Went to Halifax on the 1st of November to see the back specialist.. it will be going on three years that I have been suffering with a bad back, in fact I retired in December of last year after being off for a year with it. The specialist I saw here on PEI did every test imaginable without being able to diagnose me and ended up treating the bursitis in my hip that was a result of the back problem but not the problem itself. The specialist in Halifax finally gave me a diagnosis, I have a cyst between the bottom two vertebrae which has been causing my problems that could have been treated years ago with a cortisone shot or surgery. I've lost over 45 pounds so I've had a lot of improvement and the specialist said if it flares up that I can get the shot and if that doesn't help he can do surgery, which would be day surgery so I suspect that they would just drain it but he said that they usually grow back but at least I have an answer to what the problem is.

By the way, I went from being in the high 190's to the low 150's since January. I would like to ideally be at 135 but if I stay at where I am I'm content because it has solved a whole host of health problems, my back being only one.

Never Say Never!!

2010-11-08T11:37:00.002-04:00

Do we ever truly know someone, or even ourselves for that matter. I thought I had myself pigeon-holed as this person who didn't like retail, I would never work in retail.. yadda, yadda, yadda.. Yet here I am working in retail, and loving it by the way.

Also, I'm learning to never say never because if I do it's a sure sign that the "never" will be "for sure" and in no time flat. I said that I'd "never" sell my house that the kids grew up in even after I got my divorce but a short while after my brother helped me to do it all over I sold it. I said that I'd "never" leave my government job, and then said I'd never return, but after I sold my house I took a leave of absence and moved to the west coast from my home on the east coast of Canada and then 9 months later moved back and ... you guessed it... back to my government job.

I said I'd "never" get into another relationship but I'm now in a 9 year one that looks like it's going to be for keeps. I said I'd never buy another house but we have been in this new/old one for 7 years now and loving it.

We said we'd "never" get another dog when our sweet Missy had to be put down but we now have Tinka who we adore.

So all in all I have to be careful what I say I'll Never do, which reminds me, I said I'd never get married again.. hmmm... do you think a spring or summer wedding would be best?... just sayin'

Hello fellow blog readers.. how was your day?

2010-10-05T17:58:00.003-03:00

Well I have finished my 6 month clinical study and will have a follow-up visit 10 weeks after my last injection. My blood sugars are wonderful and I've lost over 40 pounds. I'm down to around 155 pounds and the reduction in weight has made a dramatic improvement with my back. I hope to lose another 15 pounds or so to get down to what my doctor considers an ideal weight for me because of my age she doesn't want me to lose too much weight because if I get sick I should have some weight to fall back on. My blood pressure is improved to the point that I'm on 1/2 the dose of medication for that. The only down side of this is that my cholesterol didn't go down enough so my doctor prescribed a cholesterol lowering medication.

And since my back has improved dramatically I decided to get myself a little part time job to supplement my pension that is reduced because I retired early. So I applied for and got a job at a small retail store called Bentley's that sells luggage, purses, wallets and various other similar items. I'm assistant manager and so far I'm loving it. I work around 25 hours a week and they are very flexible with the hours, in fact I can pretty well pick when I want to work [within reason of course]. I always said that I'd never work retail [I know, never say never] but I'm really enjoying the whole experience and it's so much less stressful than working for the Government.

I got a letter from a specialist in Halifax called doctor Oxner who's an orthopedic specialist and surgeon who is going to see me about my back problems. I wasn't going to go because my back has improved so much but thought that it would be to my advantage to see him because then I might get some answers about why I was in so much pain and why I still continue to have pain, although at a lesser degree. I also figured if I didn't go and see him and my back got worse [being that it's a degenerative condition that is most likely] then I might have to wait another 2 years or so to see him. My appointment is on November the 1st so I have time to work around that day with my schedule.

My tomato plants that I took pictures of below are growing very well, I've had a steady supply of those Tiny Tim tomatoes which are about the size of a small grape and I pop them like candy. The other tomatoes are a weird shape, long and narrow and come to a sharp point. They take a lot longer to ripen but are very delicious as well.

Our weather has been really unusual this year, we have been having midsummer weather in the fall with record high temperatures but it has been saving on the wood pellets. Well, have a great day and enjoy the sunshine while you can.

I'm going blog crazy!!! More photos..

2010-06-15T11:18:00.004-03:00

Ahh summer is almost here and my flowers are doing wonderfully so far and also my neighbour gave me a couple of tomato plants that I planted next to the house out of the wind, which today, turned out to be a wise move.. I'm sure all you savvy bloggers know to click on the images, sometimes twice, to see them in all their glory.. hmmm?

Here are my Iris's they went from three blossoms to this the next day..

And my Columbine.. they shot up out of nowhere.. and is so beautiful.. now my goal is to get some Foxglove.. hint hint Janet.. :-)

I caused my doctor to do a little happy dance..

2010-06-15T11:09:00.004-03:00

That's right, my doctor, once he got my blood sugar results did a little dance around the office.. I was happy to provide him with his happy injection [pardon the pun].. The diabetic association nurse called me last week and said that my diabetic three month test came back with a 2 point drop from 8.2 down to 6.2 in three months.. she also said this is what caused my doctor to do the rumba.. *wish I had seen that*: -) She also said that I have had the most dramatic improvement of all the test patients so that made me proud as well... I should be going in next week for my next follow up visit to get another supply of Exenatide and to have my cholesterol retested. Wonder if that will cause further merriment in an otherwise serious establishment?

I feel slightly la-de-da today...

2010-06-15T10:57:00.002-03:00

I have taken up drinking green tea.. since I've started my diabetic treatment I've been having horrendous heartburn.. I've been blaming it on the Metformin but I have come to the conclusion that it has to do with all the coffee and diet pop that I've been drinking since I've retired... so last night I decided to drink some green tea and I do believe that I'm on to something.. I had one cup of coffee this morning to get my caffeine fix and now I'm drinking green tea and so far so good..

Oh and speaking about the Diabetic treatment, it's going really well... so far I've lost 20 pounds since I started 3 months ago with another 3 months to go of injections and I'm down 30 pounds at least from Christmas time [I lost at least 10 pounds before I started the treatment].. so I'm pretty happy with being 162.8 this morning considering I was well over the 190 mark at Christmas time. I haven't been this light since I was in my early 20's and with another 3 months to go I can see myself getting down to the 135-140 as my goal. But if I plateau at this weight or even in the 150's then I'll have huge health benefits.

Windy out eh?

2010-06-15T10:49:00.002-03:00

I looked with horror as my newly blossoming Poppies were whipped by the strong winds this morning.. so I threw on some clothes and went out to put some bamboo stakes in the ground to use as anchor points for my string to hold the plant in place. I didn't realize when I bought the stakes that bamboo is rather fragile.. hmmmm ironic that they should be selling it as a stake material.. so now I have the plant surrounded by green bamboo tied together with white string.. not the most attractive setup but at least I feel that my Poppies have a fighting chance. PEI is a rather windy province so this was to be expected.. I said that I was going to put the stakes in yesterday evening but procrastination is a bitch.

My Garden is Finished.. YEAH!!!

2010-06-14T23:30:00.004-03:00

I finished weeding and mulching and arranging the rocks on my garden. Some flowers were unfortunately lost in the process but overall I believe that it improved the overall aura of the garden... since the flowers that I eliminated were the kind that overwhelm a garden and are best left out... more and more flowers are blooming daily and it's a joy to go out and get my hands dirty in the earth.. Here are some pictures of the garden complete..

Why does my house look like something in a psychedelic dream?.. It's melting!!!

When I do something...

2010-06-09T16:36:00.002-03:00

I realized that when I do something, I don't actually do it.. I over-do it. Like today, I decided to work in one of my flower beds and get rid of all the weeds and put down some black cedar mulch. I went out around 2 pm thinking that I'd work for a little while and then quit.. well a couple of hours later when I could hardly walk from the pain in my back I, or rather Ron, decided I should stop and give it a rest.. But I only have a little bit of mulch left in the bag I reasoned and was assured that it would be there in the morning if I can drag my carcass back outside to finish. It was a wonderful day today for working outside though, the ground was soft from all the ran we had, making it easier to pull out the nasty weeds and grass that grows better than my flowers and it was cool with a nice breeze and not too much sunlight peeking from behind the clouds so there were no bugs to speak of. Hopefully tomorrow brings similar weather.

Oh Dear Blogger.. I'm so sorry!!

2010-05-26T19:48:00.002-03:00

Dear Blogger Diary..

I'm so sorry for deserting you for facebook and especially FarmVille.. the addiction above all addictions.. if it wasn't for my sister, Janet, asking for the link to you I would have never remembered to come back and write on your walls once again... So thank you Janet.. **I think**

I have so much stuff to write about that I'm tired already. But seriously, a lot has happened in the last two or three months. To begin with, I am now part of a clinical study for a new diabetic treatment. It's a six month study and I started the latter part of March. The part of the case study that I'm a part of is an injection called Exenatide and I inject it once a week. Since I started on it some amazing things have happened (and some not so amazing things but I'll tell you about them later.)... What the medication does is it slows down your digestion so that you eat less and fell full longer, I can attest to the feeling full longer, and faster. So over the past couple of months I have drastically changed my eating habits and as a result have dropped from a very unhealthy 190 plus (I conveniently blanked out how many pounds above 190 I was but it was more than 1 and less than9) pounds before Christmas down to 165 pounds as of this morning.

Because of the weight loss I have found a marked improvement in my back (you may recall that I had to retire because of constant back and leg pain).. I was also able to come off of one of my two oral medications, my blood pressure on my last doctor's visit was down to 108/70 and if it goes any lower they are considering reducing my blood pressure medication or even eliminating it altogether. My cholesterol is reduced as well as my blood sugars are normal where my family doctor was considering putting me on insulin.

Now the not so nice effects. The injection sites have been really itchy and red hot up until this last injection which has finally had a very mild irritation which lasted a half a day. There are also lumps under the skin where the injections were given because it is a slow release medication that stays under the skin.

I have had to buy myself some new pants because the size 16 ones I have been wearing were getting so baggy on the crutch that it was embarrassing to wear them and I got three pairs of pants at a used clothing place in size 12 that fit perfectly. I didn't want to buy too many clothes because I hope to keep losing over the summer.. The real test will be once I finish the injections to see if I will gain the weight back again.. I sure hope not!

Has it been that long?

2010-03-07T19:24:00.002-04:00

Christmas is coming.. has it been that long since I last posted. You'll be happy to hear that Christmas came and went. Just a minute while I get a feather duster and get rid of some of the cobwebs. *cough cough*... very unsanitary leaving the place like this.. dust and spider webs everywhere....

Shall I go back in time or forward? I think I'll start here and go back, that way if I get bored then at least you'll be current on what's happening to me. Mmmm I have to go back on this particular item. Right before Christmas I signed up for some sessions at the diabetic clinic because my blood sugars were getting out of control and that has been going on for the last year or so.. I believe it is a combination of diet and stress. Later I got a phone call asking if I wanted to partake in a Clinical Study of a new diabetic medication. They put me through a barrage of tests and I should hear this week if I'm accepted. The thing about the medication is that it's also a weight loss medication so I well get double benefit.

Well off to bed. Will keep you *all updated.

*All meaning any possible person that may wander by and take a gander at my ramblings :)

Christmas is coming!!!

2009-12-04T00:09:00.002-04:00

Ready or not.. here Christmas comes once again. It's just three weeks away. Where the heck did the summer go? I can't believe that I haven't worked (other than a couple of weeks) for nearly a year!! But now I'm retired and I have all the time in the world. I may put my tree up this weekend.. it might make me feel a little more festive.

I have been dealing with a virus in my computer. In getting rid of it I had to delete some files only to find out that they were false alarms. I know now that I should have put the files in the vault or tried to repair them instead of deleting them.. now they tell me!!

My house is finally finished..

2009-11-22T22:12:00.003-04:00

The house is finally finished on the outside with new windows, siding and even a new storm door on the side. It really looks nice. And it is pretty well done on the inside, but are you ever really done?

Just a picture of some really weird carrots.. !!

Couple of pics of Tinka... Plus some random pics.

2009-11-22T21:53:00.004-04:00

Picture taken the last of October.. everything is still so green!!

I took this picture and thought.. what the heck is that white speck in the field...

I discovered it was my cat, Penny, looking for mice... mmmm mice... and she likes to share..

Tinka saying.. "hurry up Mom!!"

I say that I'm taking her for a walk.. but sometimes it's the other way around..

Well it's the end of an era..

2009-11-22T21:15:00.003-04:00

It's the end of an era, if you can call it that, what constitutes an era anyway? I'm meeting with the people at my employ to officially retire. I have been without any money coming in for 7 months and my appeal has been denied, yet again. I also took an allergic reaction to the latest medications that the doctor gave me for depression (how depressing it that?)... and the Steven Johnson's has come back.

So I will get a settlement from work of one week's pay for every year that I worked (16 years) ... so at least we can put some money back in my savings and pay off the credit cards that were piling up because of needing them for emergencies.

I feel at peace with the whole thing and maybe I can get some relief now that the pressure is off. So it's an ill wind as they say.

I decided I'm going to try my hand at creating 3D products for Poser. There will be a huge learning curve but I now have the time and the desire to try my hand at something new. I'll probably start with free items just to break into the market and once I improve on what I'm doing then I'll create some for sale items. My 2D artwork is popular and I'm using them a lot in my artwork as well.

When I was so depressed in the last few weeks I got involved in a bunch of applications on facebook.. it's great mind numbing entertainment but once I got to a point where I hit rock bottom and then came back up again I tired of it.. It was just depressing me again with all the virtual money I was making while the physical money wasn't there... : |

I'm really depressed about Christmas coming because I have no money for gifts... my daughter is very understanding but I don't know how the grandkids will deal with it.. Oh well, I guess they will have to deal with reality some time.. it took me long enough before I finally did.

HELLO.. HELLo..HELlo.. Hello.. hellooooo...

2009-11-03T08:21:00.002-04:00

Wow.. gotta do some housecleaning and get rid of some of the cobwebs that have accumulated here over the last little while.. last post was a couple of months ago.

Well, my doctor put me off of work indefinitely.... I tried going back to work and was an emotional wreck because of the pain. My doctor also gave me an anti-depressants.. and it seems to be working somewhat.. I just upped the dose today after being on it for a week (doctor's orders).

I also sent in the appeal to the insurance company for the Long Term Disability.. I have a diagnosis from my chiropractor who saw the x-rays of my back and diagnosed it immediately. He also showed me the x-rays and even my untrained eye could see that my bottom vertebrae is tilted to the right, where all the pain originates. He said that my vertebrae is thinner on one side because of my degenerative condition and is pinching on the sciatic nerve. His recommendation is that I either have surgery or that I go on LTD. We'll see if his recommendation has any weight with the insurance company.. I'm not holding my breath.

My family doctor is trying to set me up with a surgeon who specializes in the spine to see if surgery is necessary. I think that being in pain for two years would constitute a need for surgery but we'll see how that goes.

On a lighter note, our new puppy, Tinkabelle or Tinka for short, is just so sweet and cuddly that it makes my day brighter just to be around her.. even if she does occasionally go to the bathroom in the house, even though we let her outside a dozen or so times a day.. *sigh*.. the joys of dog ownership... lol

Tinka's adventure into the big world...

2009-08-13T22:06:00.000-03:00

some videos...

2009-08-13T22:04:00.000-03:00

Tinka's new style of travel.. and Ron gets to carry a purse... :)

Some Pictures of Tinka

2009-08-13T10:24:00.002-03:00

Good day my dear readers...

2009-08-13T10:07:00.002-03:00

I am still here although I haven't wanted to bore you all with tales of my woes.. I'm still off of work so there is no money coming in and I'm getting desperate. I put a request in to return to work on a trial basis but apparently my doctor hasn't sent the papers back to my workplace yet.. also they have to find me a job that will accommodate my reduced abilities. I feel like I'm sinking in a sea of despair... now aren't you glad I've avoided sharing that little bit of cheer your way?...

On a brighter note we have gotten a little puppy (I know ... another one?)... well the last pup only lasted two weeks and he went back.. he was very destructive with chewing and messing all over the house. So we waited a while and now we have a hybrid pup.. part Shih Tzu and part Pekingese, and her name is TinkaBelle but we call her Tinka for short. She's tan and white and pretty smart and very adorable.. I'll post a couple of pictures of her so you can see what she looks like. Ron has her almost house broken and at 12 weeks that's pretty good I'd say.

Was to see the specialist once again.

2009-04-16T13:35:00.002-03:00

I was to see the specialist once again to get the results of the CT scan.. I've now had a CT scan, a full bone scan and an MRI...

I have good news and bad news .. the good news is that it's not bone cancer that is causing my pain which the specialist was afraid of. The bad news is that it's not anything that can be fixed surgically and the specialist doesn't feel comfortable filling out the long term disability because he can't make a definitive diagnosis. So I asked him where that leaves me. He said that the pain will have to be managed somehow (and he couldn't seem to understand why I was upset, just thought that I should be elated that it wasn't cancer!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it's not cancer but I'm still frustrated with the pain. He is going to give me a cortisone shot on the 28th to see if that can help. I told him that I already had a cortisone shot and it didn't help, he said that he is going to give me a much stronger shot because if the shot isn't strong enough or isn't in the exact correct place then it may not work (encouraging eh?).

Also, the note that my family doctor gave me for the EI was only for the first of April so that is run out as well, I'm seeing her on the 27th to see if she can give me another note for the remaining 7 weeks I'm entitled to for EI and then hopefully the cortisone shot will work and I can get back to work next month some time.

The specialist as well is suggesting that I be enrolled in a pain management clinic. So after the shot hopefully I can start back to work. Send healing thoughts my way everyone.

Oh and just a side note: We took the pup, Bailey, back to the Humane Society because he was putting us in a lot of stress that we didn't need at this time.

2009-04-06T06:48:00.002-03:00

Well the cat, Penny, told Bailey what for last night.. lol.. Bailey was wanting to play with her but Penny would have nothing of it.. Penny went up a few steps and Bailey was barking at her.. then Bailey started up the steps to play with her and Penny hauled back and swatted her on the nose a couple of times (Penny has no front claws so it scared Bailey more than anything.. lol)... Right now Bailey is at the bottom of the stairs and Penny is about three steps up and won't let Bailey come any further.. lol.. I don't think our cat is too happy with us peoples..

My Gawd! that dog chews a lot.. and puts everything in his mouth!.. you can't lay anything anywhere and he's into it.. and taking him for a walk you have to keep moving or he eats pebbles.. at least he doesn't mind you putting your fingers into his mouth to take stuff out... I hope this puppy stage doesn't last too long (I know.. yeah right.. lol)

2009-04-05T07:54:00.002-03:00

Well we got through the first night with him.. he made it to the pee pads 50% of the time .. so we'll have a job getting him house-broken but he spent the night upstairs with Ron in his room and was really quiet all night with no whining so that's good.. he's teething so we have to keep an eye out that he doesn't destroy the furniture and offer him a chew toy when he gets to gnawing on something he's not supposed to .. I think that yesterday he was getting over the anesthetic from his surgery from the night before because he threw up a bit after we took him for a walk.. but he was excellent walking on the leash considering it was his first time!!!!

We have renamed him from Trouble to Bailey and he sure is one handsome boy.. and he'll have a lot more energy than our last little doggie... whether that's good or bad remains to be seen.. lol..

New member of the family..

2009-03-25T18:23:00.002-03:00

Well it's been a month, almost to the day, that we had to put our Missy down. We had went to the humane society of PEI and were looking at dogs but I think that we were trying to get another Missy. That wasn't fair to the dogs or to us. So when we saw a litter of pups come up for adoption we (make that me) decided that we would go for something completely different instead .. this is Trouble and he's a part smooth collie and part mutt.. he had been well socialized and gets along with cats. He's going to get a lot bigger than our little Missy was but than again Ron will be able to take him on walks and he will actually be able to keep up unlike Missy who would be great going but not coming home, she would normally drag behind. I'm looking forward to having another dog in the house but not looking forward to the house training.. pooo pooo ewwwy.. lol..

2009-03-20T11:05:00.002-03:00

We're back and forth on getting a dog. We went to the spca shortly after we lost Missy to look at dogs but I think that it was too soon. I sent an email to a dog breeder friend about her keeping an eye out for us on a dog but she hasn't gotten back to me on that yet. There is an interesting dog on the spca web page right now called Harmony that we may have a look at (she's good with cats which is a plus for us because of Penny the cat, poor thing, has put up a lot with Sophie and then Missy). We'll just have to wait and if the right dog is out there we will know it when we see it.

On Penny, she's such a patient cat, when we were giving them both a treat, Missy was the one who gulped her food before it hit the floor and Penny was daintily eating hers and Missy would take the food right out of Penny's mouth and Penny wouldn't do a thing, not hiss or growl, just let Missy do whatever she wanted. And Missy was so jealous of Penny that if Penny started to go towards me Missy would push at her feet with her muzzle like she was herding sheep and Penny would just walk away from me without putting up a fuss. Now Penny has all of my attention and she's getting so cuddly, sitting on my lap in the evening while I'm watching TV.

That's the main reason why we are taking our time with getting another dog because we want to be sure it will get along with Penny.

Yet more tests coming...

2009-03-16T15:36:00.000-03:00

Just got back from the specialist and I'm still no further ahead.. from the MRI they detected, in the lumbar area where there is some pinching of the nerves that come out but not to the extent that surgery is required.. but in my hip area there was an inflammation showing up from the bone scan that he is going to follow up on.. so in for more tests.. this tiime a CT scan of that area.. he's going to put urgent on it because of the long wait I've had up to this point.. so he said I may get a call this week and to contact them as soon as I get my call so that they can schedule a follow up appointment.. oh and the cancer thing was a mistake... whew.. which I figured it was anyway..

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...

2009-03-11T14:13:00.002-03:00

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...I'm not sure if I want there to be something operable or not... my brother has had back surgeries and he said avoid an operation at all costs.. his operation didn't hold ... so I'm sort of torn about the whole thing... it would be nice to have an operation and have everything taken care of but at the same time it would be good to be able to fix it without surgery (say with proper physiotherapy)... So I'll know shortly and then next Monday I see the specialist to get the results of my MRI on my lumbar spine... My stomach is in knots right now.. I hate the unknown!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back home and this is what I found out!!!

Now that was a bizarre, unsettling appointment... first off the results of the bone scan showed some inflammation (no big surprise there) but no pinpoint of what was causing it.. I go Monday to see that specialist on the MRI.. but while I was there my doctor asked me if I had a chest x-ray done when I went in for the bone scan and I told her not as far as I know. Then she proceeded to tell me that there was a notation of CA lung which in doctor's terms meant lung cancer... she asked me if the specialist had mentioned lung cancer to me.. I told her no and so she said that it suggested x-rays so she sent me to the hospital to get them done and put a notation on it that she believes there was an error on the bone scan form (she suggested that maybe they couldn't make out his writing.. why in heavens name don't they have multiple choice forms where they can check off what they need done or else learn how to write legibly?). So off I trot to get the x-rays done which thankfully were quick and painless and in Canada is covered by medicare .. now I have to wait until Monday to see what the specialist says...

2009-03-11T08:48:00.002-03:00

You may wonder if it's worth while to be entering contests on the net, or not if you're not aware of the 3D contest-entering world... besides perfecting your craft there are many many prizes to be won.. since I started entering competitions and having pictures picked for Picture Of The Week at websites devoted to 3D art.. (the first winning I see as December of 2007 but there could have been one or two before that) ... anyway.. in that little over a year I've won approximately $1075.00 worth of prizes!!!!!!!!!! Now if that isn't an incentive to enter some contests I don't know what is... lol...

Oh and I probably have many more times that in freebies from Daz since I joined in 2006 and started getting their newsletter... in fact there is only a small portion of my total runtime that I've had to pay for..

OK.. I just went through all of my Daz product to see the value of the items I got for free (I know.. but I don't have something better to do.. ) and it's mind boggling.. I got a total of $1919.30 of items completely free since October of 2006 and I know that there were periods of time that I didn't get any items because I was without a computer. There are a few items that are no longer available so I have no idea what the value of them are so we'll say that the value would be topping the $2000.00 mark... Also, from Daz3D I spent $166.80 and that includes the Platinum Club membership and two renewals.. so I actually spent $120.85 on actual products over the span of my membership and in addition to all the freebies I saved $1240.00 on products.. so I have saved at least $3160.00 in Daz products that I spent $166.80 to get.. I'd say that was pretty good return on my money don't you think?

So to sum it all up I have $3160 free from Daz plus the 1075.00 in prizes so that the value of the product that I didn't have to pay for is around $4235.00 give or take a few dollars... wow.. that blows me away big time.. I'm on a very tight budget so I don't have a lot of money to spend on all of this stuff but I have a humongous amount of product free.. WOW... gotta love the 3d world eh?

The Mail That Made Me Cry

2009-03-09T13:43:00.003-03:00

Ron went out and checked the mail and there was a sympathy card from the vet's office (it had doggies on the front and With Heartfelt Sympathy on the Loss of Your Friend as a caption) with this hand written inside..

"Dear Ron and Kathy, You did the best you could and it is unfortunate Missy didn't understand. Then, in the end, you made the only kind decision. Our sympathy is with you in your loss... "

It was signed by all the staff... Makes me cry all over again to read it...

Oh and my niece Donna had given me a sympathy card and a little white doggy statue to put on my computer desk right after we lost Missy... that made me cry too... :*(

We went last week to the humane society to adopt another dog but our hearts just weren't in it.. the dogs were cute but not our Missy.. will take us a while to not compare a new dog with her.. if it ever comes about.

Our cat Penny is a lot more relaxed without a dog in the house.. I think that she was getting stressed (although she liked to torture the dog with her antics.. lol).

We made the hardest decision of my life yesterday.

2009-02-26T13:51:00.002-04:00

We decided that it would be best all around to have Missy put down. Our vet agreed with us because of Missy's unusual sensitivity in her skin even on the scruff of her neck which is usually not sensitive at all and the fact that the insulin shots and the resulting strain on us and Missy was not good for any of us. We took her in and had a long talk with the vet explaining her reactions to getting the needle (he had first hand knowledge of her sensitivity) then told him that to have her put down would be the most humane thing to do and he agreed saying that she wouldn't understand why someone who has been so good to her would be putting her through so much pain every day. She was becoming cross and starting to nip at us if we put our hands near her neck. We were unable to give her the shot the day before because of her violent reaction to getting the needle and the resulting bending of the needle tip when we tried to get it into her. We said our goodbyes and both of us broke down and I'm still in mourning for our sweet little girl. Even though we knew it was for the best it's still tearing my heart out. It will be a long time before we ever get another dog, if ever. Thank goodness we have our cat Penny to help ease the pain somewhat although she's getting old too (she's 10 years old and an outside cat).

Giving Missy her shots has become a major stress all around

2009-02-24T18:57:00.002-04:00

We are at the end of our ropes with giving Missy her shots. She has refused to allow us to do it and today the needle got bent because she struggles so violently when we try to give her the shots. Her skin is abnormally tender, her skin is very taught causing it to be difficult to pinch the skin to raise it up for the shot and the vet has said that he has never had a dog mind having a shot in the scruff of it's neck like Missy minds having one in hers. She even yelps when you pinch the skin gently in between your fingers. If it was just giving her the shots and she tolerated it there would be no problem but we are stressing all the way around now and we have to make a difficult decision tomorrow about whether we are prepared to continue on with it or let her go. She can't not have her insulin and I don't know if the stress we are putting her though and us through means that she will have any quality of life.

My back/hip has increased in pain because of the stress and I'm ending up having to take more Demerol as a result and I think I might be developing an ulcer. If we do decide to put her down it will devastate us both but if we don't what kind of a life is that for us as well. It may seem like we are selfish but I don't see it that way.. we gave it a good go at trying to do this for her sake. It just didn't work out.

Just a little addition to the previous post

2009-02-15T11:40:00.001-04:00

Just a little addition to the previous post.. I know before if I ever heard of anyone who had an animal the was diabetic I thought (I'd never give an animal insulin shots.. I'd put the animal down first).... ahhhh the old "NEVER"... famous last words... lol

Our Missy has diabetes

2009-02-15T10:50:00.002-04:00

Missy has been feeling unwell now for a couple of weeks and has been throwing up.. so yesterday we took her to the vet and had blood tests run. The vet thought it was diabetes with the possibility of Cushings Disease because of some of the symptoms.. Poor Missy had to have a muzzle put on her so that she wouldn't bit the nurse of doctor when they took a vial of blood out of her little skinny leg.. she looked like she was going to smother because she couldn't get her mouth open to pant and dogs don't do well with breathing through their noses.. When I got home yesterday I was beside myself with being upset.. the tests for the Cushings are very expensive (200 to 300 dollars just for the tests) and since I'm laid off on sick unemployment we were thinking that we would have to have her put down if it came to having to have multiple, expensive tests done on her..

This morning..

We had her to the vet this morning to have her first insulin shot and to have an antibiotic because she had a fever yesterday and from talking with the vet for an hour (and this is a Sunday to boot.. he had to go in and tend to the animals in the clinic so got us to go in and he charged us the regular visit fee) and I'm feeling a lot better about it... the threat of Cushings Disease is not looming over us as much.. he seemed to think that her diabetes is the main problem.. poor little Missy was just vibrating with fear when we took her in because of yesterday's experience.. but she took the needles well and now we have her home.. we have to give her a shot once a day because it's the slow release kind and he started her on a low dose for a few days to see how she tolerates it.. her blood sugars were more than double what they should be so she is definitely a diabetic... he said her liver is effected but hopes it will start functioning better once the insulin takes effect.

So hopefully she will return to a more normal life once everything levels out.. I guess at first Ron will have to give her her insulin shots but I will have to get over my fear of needles so that I can giver her her shot if he's not around.

My back is just killing me this morning and I had to take a Demerol when we got home because of the pain.. stress will tend to make my back worse and this morning and yesterday were BIG stress inducers..

Turn Around is Fair Play

2009-02-12T08:34:00.001-04:00

Our cat Penny has a new way to torture our dog Missy. Missy is getting old and has a hard time maneuvering the stairs and takes a few moments to get started so usually I go upstairs first and know that she will be along in a few seconds.. but lately she's been standing at the bottom of the stairs and whining and when we go and look, here's Penny laying fully across the third or fourth step so that Missy can't get past her.. she gets really pissed off when we tell her to move too.. I have to say here that Missy has been chasing Penny since we got her almost so I guess this is Penny's way of getting to the top of the pecking order (literally).

More on the home front

2009-02-04T11:12:00.002-04:00

First off, my doctor put me off of work for another two months until I get back to see the specialist. So I've had to apply for sick unemployment to carry my through until then. That must have been the hardest decision that I've had to make in my life. I was so stressed out about it that I got two huge cold sores on my mouth. Not a pretty sight but at least I'm not out and about much for people to see it.. lol. I had used up all of my sick time at work so if I took any more time off I would have to do it without pay and every morning now I wake up in pain and need to take Demerol so I can't function taking that. So here I sit..

My items are selling well at Renderosity, especially my wolves and my mind is bursting with other possible things to sell. I really love the whole concept and hope that I can come up with stuff that people will want to buy.

I went in for what I thought was an MRI on Monday but it turns out it was a bone scan instead. The machine that took the scan was all open on the sides so no fear of becoming claustrophobic the actual MRI on my lumbar spine on March the 3rd with an appointment with the specialist on the 16th to get my results. So my options are, go on long term disability, get fixed up or retire..

Missy had her haircut..

2009-01-17T08:52:00.004-04:00

We braved the cold to take Missy in for her haircut.. we made sure we brought her little knitted sweater with us so that she would be warm afterwards.. at first she was a little miffed at us but now she's much better... Here's a before and after picture and a picture taken of her with her boyfriend Lovett who lives just down the street..

There's a story that goes with Missy and Lovett.. When we first got Missy, when we took her for a walk down the road, she'd growl at Lovett when he would come out to greet us. Lovett is so friendly and has been in love with Missy from first sight. I don't know all the detail of Missy before we got her but I don't think that she was socialized much with other dogs... she's usually very passive with other dogs on their property (don't let them come near HER property tho'..lol).. but with Lovett she wouldn't tolerate him, even on his property and she's growl at him and generally be a bitch... lol... But eventually she would put up with his smelling her and inviting her to play with an aloof indifference while Lovett would be all happy, bouncing love dog..

Gradually she got that she even would give him a tail wag and an occasionally a bark hello. Now I think that she's in love with him too.. she runs to greet him and races with him around the clay track where we walk (Lovett's owner has a clay track where they exercise their race horses).. It's so good to see Missy finally know how to play with another dog. So when we finally get back to see him she'll be able to show off her new haircut. Lovett will fall in love all over again...

Working on another product for my store

2009-01-15T22:44:00.002-04:00

I have the angel wings and now the foxes in the store at Renderosity and I can put one more thing in there as well so I decided that I would do up some wolves. I'm going to have a total of 10 wolf figures like this one attached and I was trying to decide between $8.00 and $10.00 per pack and decided to split the difference and charge $9.00... I've had some good response on them so far where I showed them in a group I belong to.. So if I can make some extra pocket change then that would be great..

Got a haircut...

2009-01-15T22:24:00.002-04:00

I picked today, the coldest day of the winter so far to get a haircut. My hair had gotten really long and since I have a short neck I find that shorter hair suits me better... also my hair is painfully fine so any kind of sweeping, french braid type hairstyle lays so flat against my head that it looks like my hair is painted on.. not a good look. Since my back/hip has been bothering me for so long I have lost interest in dying my hair to cover the grey so I had been letting it grow out. So all the artificial color is now gone and I gotta admit that there isn't THAT much grey ... just a little bit on my left bangs and the temple on that side (odd I know but then again I'm odd) so I don't see a need to dye my hair in the near future.. maybe I'll give that up for a while..

And we have an appointment to get our little poodle, Missy's hair cut tomorrow.. we're taking her little winter jacket with us because it's supposed to be another bitterly cold day tomorrow with a wind chill factor of -40 degrees celcius... brrrr... but she's getting matted and so we decided to invest in a clip and a shampoo tomorrow for her.. As she's getting older she minds going to the groomer more than she did when she was a bit younger... we all get grouchy when we get older...

Well I now have a storefront at Renderosity

2009-01-12T11:09:00.001-04:00

This is so exciting.. just click the link and you can see my store (as of this moment I only have one item in there but hope to have the second in there soon)... my store front ... they have a half a million customers so hopefully I can make bunches of sales..

Continuing with the commerce news..

2009-01-08T18:40:00.002-04:00

I also have a huge package of the angel wings in both light and dark colors that I'm putting in the renderosity store.. if they pass testing I'll end up with my own store in there and I'll post the link to that if and when that happens.. here's some promo pictures for that combined set..

Here's a picture I made using the midnight pink wings.. click on it and the other pictures to get the full effect..

OK.. more on my commerce ....

2009-01-08T18:29:00.003-04:00

I have the foxes at one store.. the link is here ..

I also have come up with some angel wings.. they went up in the store yesterday and the link for them is here ... They are angel wings that are in psd format and what, you may ask can you do with them?.. well this... for one (see below) .. lol.. The wings went in the store last night and I heard that there was a sale of one set already.. I also did some dark wings that will be in the store as well in the next day or so...

First off my MRI

2009-01-08T18:26:00.002-04:00

I got word that I go in for my MRI the 2nd of February and I have to go back to the specialist on the 20th of February. So I'm moving forward with this at least. But that's not saying there is anything that the doctor can do for me. We'll have to wait and see.

Tried going for a tiny little walk yesterday.. only a 5 minute one but it's better than nothing as they say.

2009-01-06T10:14:00.003-04:00

Well another year has started and I have begun the new year being put off work for a month by my doctor (guess she got tired of me going in and blubbering all over her examining table). I finally got in to see the specialist and he thinks it's more in my back than my hip.. maybe a pinched nerve.. he will know more once I get the MRI done. So I'm waiting impatiently for my letter from the hospital telling me when I can go in and have it done. Since I've been off and take the Demerol I feel a lot better, in fact sometimes I think that I should be able to go back to work.. but then I have a morning like this morning and my back and hip are giving me grief again... so what can I say.. life sucks sometimes.. but it could be worse..

Since I'm at home with time on my hands I've been designing some 2d items and getting them ready for market.. besides the foxes (which are in one small online store already) I have designed and am getting packaged up some angel wings.. I'll post the promo picture here once I have it all done up. I'm going to put them in a huge online store for 2d and 3d items called Renderosity. May only make a few dollars on them but I should be able to support my creative addiction with what I can make... lol..

Below is a picture that I created with some of my 3d items I purchased or won.. Pretty well all of the items, the character textures and morphs, the hair and the clothing I got from winning on line competitions so lately I've not had to buy too much for my Daz or Poser addiction..

In the last month or so I've won a half a dozen competions with the total prize amount in the hundreds of dollars in product.. too bad it isn't cold hard cash.. but at least it's saved me from spending lots of the cold hard stuff..

I have ventured into the land of commerce...

2008-12-18T21:28:00.005-04:00

As per my last post, I have a new toy and I've been drawing foxes with it.. I got enough done, zipped them up, put a readme file with them and am going to sell them to the 2d world.. here are the promo pictures for them..

Merry Christmas to Me!!

2008-12-08T11:36:00.002-04:00

Christmas is coming and it's that time of year when Ron and I get something for ourselves for our Christmas present. We don't buy for each other, we just buy something for ourselves that we want and call it a present.. lol.. works for us.

So we were in Future Shop and I spied a Wacom Bamboo Fun Digital Drawing Tablet and I knew that was my present. They had two sizes, a 4x6 and an 8x5 and I decided to go with the larger one. That particular one was $200 + after taxes and I'm in love.. lol.. here's a picture I drew with the tablet, my first of many I'm sure... it's from a tutorial I purchased a couple of months ago doing this with a computer mouse is hard if not impossible but was mundo easy with the drawing tablet. I know that I have a lonnnngg way to got to really perfect this but I'm quite proud of my first attempt.

Got the Animal Dilated Eye Look Goin' on...

2008-12-08T11:05:00.002-04:00

I was in for my annual visit with the ophthalmologist today so I can't look directly at the screen right now.. lol.. He reminded me that it's been 17 + years since I was diagnosed with diabetes and so far (knock on wood) my eyes have not changed since the first photos that were taken way back then.. so that's good. I always take the day off for this particular treatment because I'm not able to drive afterward and working on the computer is out of the question also I tend to get a migraine from the strain of trying to get my dilated eyes to focus. So I'm off today and will be doing some sewing which is easier on the eyes.

I didn't put at tree up this year. It seems a waste because we always go to Amherst for Xmas eve and day and we are living in the country so we don't tend to get company way out here especially this time of year when the roads start to slicken up with snow and ice. Also with my sore hip it seemed like too much of an effort this year.

Ron found an unpleasant visitor snuggled up to him in bed the other night.. a RAT!!!! He flung it off the bed but the time he got the light turned on and got armed with a stick it was gone.. but the next day he caught one in the kitchen but again he wasn't able to find something to kill it with before it took off into the livingroom. He went into town and got all kinds of traps, an ugly looking one that we have to be sure that the cat and dog don't have access to and a sticky trap. Behind our kitchen stove was a hole chewed in the wall where the rat got out so he put the traps there to catch the rat and it turned out the sticky one was the one that did the trick. He "disposed" of it without me being there to see and I'm sure glad he's here because I'm afraid the rat or rats would have free rein of the place. He said that rats are really vicious when they're cornered... *shudder*. He had caught three mice before this rat and we used humane traps to catch and release them but the rat went DOWN.. We also got some of those sonic devices to hopefully prevent more mice or rats from coming into the house.. ahhh the joys of living in the country.

2008-11-28T08:44:00.003-04:00

Well, I'm gonna start whining so if you don't wanna see it I would suggest you close this message (and it ain't a pretty sight so I don't blame you)..

As many of you know I have a problem with my hip, right leg and back because of sciatica. Well, I have been going to see a chiropractor because physiotherapy wasn't working and for a while it was working great.. now.. not so much..

Lately I'm in a lot of pain again, I find it hard to concentrate and I'm getting really bad headaches and my neck is constantly aching. Yesterday when I went back to the chiropractor he said that my right leg is starting to lose it's strength again and he checked out me neck and it turns out my neck is also out of alignment. I feel on the verge of tears most days and the depression is starting to set in again because I can't see an end in sight.

I see the specialist in two weeks time and if he tells me there is nothing they can do for me I'll have a big time pity party and you are all invited. I know there are other people in here that are suffering with chronic pain and some worse than me and I don't know how you cope day to day.. I know mine isn't life threatening like some in here who have coped amazingly well with what life has thrown at them.. But we are, after all, pretty self absorbed creatures and most times can't see beyond our little world of self indulgence, so I am wallowing for a while.

Most days I feel like a failure because I have been missing a lot of work again because of the pain. I can't take anti-inflammatories because I am allergic to them and so mostly I've been trying to cope without the aid of drug treatments. So if I'm quiet at times you will know what it's about..

If I didn't have my poser/3d creating to do and shut real life out I don't know what I'd do.. mostly I just want to crawl in a hole and hybernate most days...

So the whining is over for today.. thank you for listening/reading and you may go back to your regularly scheduled programming.. Kathryn

another day ... another pound...

2008-11-11T10:32:00.002-04:00

They say you're not supposed to lose weight too fast but since this is only for two weeks, and I imagine some of it will come back once I start eating dairy, wheat and meats again, I'm not too worried.. I'm down to 178.6 this morning so that's three and a half pounds off in as many days.. I'm almost ashamed to admit that once I put my mind to losing weight my body just naturally loses without too much effort..

I got some corn flakes for my breakfast and so far so good.. I'm going to cook up a bunch of brown rice and vegetables today and portion them out and make up some lunches or dinners with them.. and along with the chili from the other day I should be able to make meals without having to worry about trying to come up with ideas for a week or so any way. I also have a big salad all prepared but I find I really don't care for salad in the colder months.. I like warm food that will stick to the old ribs... that's from when we were kids and would have to walk to school in the winter.. had to have a belly full of warm food to keep you going.. lol

My big goal is to get as much weight as possible off my body so that it will hopefully relieve my hip and possibly avoid having surgery... also if I get walking (shut up David.. I knew you were right all the time.. just didn't want to admit it!).. then the muscles will build up and make the hip more stable.. We can all dream..

Plus my doctor will be happy because my diabetes is improving already (and you gotta keep your doctors happy right... doesn't matter if I'm happy... phhhhtttt)... yeah... as if...

I've started a cleansing...

2008-11-10T22:04:00.003-04:00

I've decided to do a 2 week cleansing. I'm not going the pop a pill route but decided to do it by eliminating certain foods from my diet. In doing so I should rid my body of certain foods that are known to cause the body to overwork to process them.

For these two weeks there will be no meats, no sugar, no wheat and no dairy. I know, what does that leave?.. Well, not a lot, but I can hack it for the next two weeks and then I'm back on the weight watchers again. I had gained back almost half of what I took off (at least it wasn't all back on : / ).. but I was feeling just worn out and tired all the time. So I was back up to 182 from the 170 or so that I was at before the dreaded "hip incident!!". But considering it's been almost a year with no exercise and eating to find comfort when I was suffereing it wasn't too bad.

So as far as what I can eat, I got some vanilla soya milk to replace the dairy, some soya faux hamburger and lots and lots of different types of beans to replace the meat, some corn flour bread and some rice pasta to replace the wheat. On top of that I am eating lots of fruit and vegetables plus rice and potatoes so lots and lots of fiber!!!! I thought that I'd be full of gas and bloated because of all the fiber and beans but so far so good. And I've lost 3 pounds so far and it's been only three days. I can live with this for two weeks and I must admit the chili I made yesterday with kidney beans and black beans was to die for... mmmm.. and it sticks to the ribs.
I wouln't want to become a vegetarian or something but I must admit since I've been without those foods my mind is a lot clearer and I do have more energy. Will keep you posted on how I do.

The front porch changed

2008-10-26T12:36:00.002-03:00

As you can see by this picture the front porch is all closed in which should save us some heating bills this winter as well because it should break down on air leaks.. *if you click on the picture you can see the enlarged picture.. *

The outside finished.. or almost...

2008-10-26T12:11:00.005-03:00

I'm not sure which way this is going to display but here are three pics of the house.. the first one shows the old cedar shingles which should be beautiful but instead, because they were improperly installed look like crap.. and the second picture shows the house with just part of the house done.. and the third shows it in it's final stages (for the outside at least) showing the faux board and batten style.. ain't it purty.. ????

Getting near the end...

2008-09-29T07:32:00.002-03:00

Ron put the final panels on the house on the weekend and painted the front so we are one step closer to being finished. The house looks so much better being all one colour now. Hope the high winds and rain didn't strip the paint off of the house last night.. at least we didn't get the hurricane that the weather people were hinting at. Pictures to follow.

I've been so tired lately.. I go to bed early and wake up tired lately.. I hate getting old..

As For Our Renovations

2008-09-20T13:20:00.003-03:00

Today we went into Home Hardware and purchased materials to do over our bathroom downstairs.

- new corner shower
- shower head for shower
- new toilet
- vanity
- vanity top
- taps for vanity

We got them on a 12 equal payments, no interest, no down payment plan. And most of the stuff was on sale. You won't be able to recognize that it's the same house once we're done of it, inside and out.

The electrician was here to put a vent in the upstairs bathroom since we have the house a lot tighter we had to have a way to get rid of the extra moisture. When they installed the vent there was a nail that fell from the area of the hole that they cut and we discovered it was a square nail. So I guess the house is around 100 years old after all. We were told by the inspector when we first bought it that he didn't think it was that old because they used square nails back then and he didn't see any when he inspected it.

We were looking at floor coverings for the bathroom and the downstairs bedroom to complete the replacement of the floors. I'll have to start a new blog just to show the whole slew of before and after pictures!!

We're considering putting a special siding around the back door to break up the look and it's going to be quite expensive but it will be from an Island manufacturer and will really add to the look of the house.

Ron's going to install a vent for the attic in the lower area because the roof got bowed because there was no venting in there.. it won't correct the bowing but hopefully will prevent it from getting any worse.

Did I mention that we installed a new vent for the dryer so that it goes out the soffit of the house? So this winter there won't be any snow in the dryer lint trap like there was last year.. phhhttt..

It's hard to keep up with all the stuff that has been done up to this point because Ron keeps doing more and more stuff.

He now has all the outside insulation done, the windows installed that we are doing this year, the tybac is on and all the taping and sealing is done.. We were getting a bit worried because we were behind our expected completion date. It's a good thing that Ron can do most of the work himself because as soon as the weather improved he was able to get right at it.

Last weekend we bought a generator for the pellet stove in case we lose power. It is heavy enough to run a few other things as well.

Just passing by

2008-09-10T06:45:00.002-03:00

Just popping in to apologize for not being here much lately.. I've been busy and will fill you in on all my adventures a bit later.. gotta get ready for work right now.. talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone people.

This is the year of the rennovations....

2008-08-31T17:39:00.003-03:00

We have spent mega bucks on the house this year getting it the way we want it.. we're taking pictures of the house and all of the things we have installed or fixed up and are going to create a binder showing all that we have done.. in addition to being a great remembrance book it will be a way to document the improvements we have made to the place in case we were to sell it in the future (it better be waaaay in the future because I want to enjoy the place once it's completed)...

and in no particular order... Ron did/we had someone come in and do the following...
- Ron replaced the roof.. that was more than a little dangerous!
- Ron replaced the upstairs bedroom window
- our furnace went and we had to have it replaced
- we got a new water pressure tank for the well to increase the water flow
- we got a hole dug and a sump bucket installed for the new sump pump
- Ron redid over the whole interior of the house.. or at least 90% of it by..
- installed new laminate floors through most of the house
- painted or wallpapered the interiour
- the electrician installed a new breaker box to replace the old fuse box
- we bought a new electric hot water heater to be installed in the near future
- we have a new pellet stove
- Ron replaced the dining room, kitchen, downstairs bathroom and downstairs walk-in closet windows and has one for the den to replace
- Ron's in the process of putting new insulation and siding on the house
- We put blown in insulation in the lower attic
- since we moved in we replaced the washer, dryer and just got a new fridge
- we had the electrician install a new circuit upstairs so that we can run a heater in the winter if necessary
- Ron replaced the sink in the upstairs bathroom
- Ron built a little shed for the ride on lawnmower
- Ron did work on the old garage/workshop, insulated and replaced the roof as well as put in a wooden floor over the old clay floor

I think that's everything we've done so far..

what we want to do in the future is....
- replace the bathroom window and the upstairs other bedroom window
- put in a shower downstairs
- replace the stove
- replace the dishwasher
- redo the driveway
- install a water softener system
- do something about the basement
- fix the window by the back door **done**
- redo the floors in the main bedroom downstairs and do over the new bathroom
- replace the tub and toilet in the upstairs bathroom (that may not get done).

So our "to do" list is a lot shorter than our "done" list..

2008-08-21T21:13:00.003-03:00

I'm too tired to try and arrange the wording over each picture.. lets just say that rain didn't dampen the spirits of this wedding.. there were lots of raincoats, umbrellas and DANCING!!! OH.. and kissing.. lol.

This is the view out our Motel window..

2008-08-21T21:11:00.003-03:00

A little creepy but Aaron, always the optimist, said that they were probably lovely people buried there..

A Few Pics of the Wedding

2008-08-21T20:52:00.005-03:00

First is Aaron and Richie saying their vows...

Then the two Janets lighting a candle for their sons (both mothers are called Janet!)

This is Aaron and Richie.. they looks so happy... and CUTE!!

And these are the parets with the newlyweds.. my sister and her husband on the left and Richie's parents on the right...

*These photos are from Aaron's brother, Andy*

My Nephew's getting married next Saturday..

2008-08-10T23:02:00.003-03:00

My Nephew's getting married next Saturday.. it's to be a momentous occasion for more than the usual reasons.. you see.. his fiance is Richie.. so it will be the first gay marriage in the history of our family..

It's to be my first same-sex wedding (that I'm attending, not participating in, not that I have participated in one either.. should I stop trying to explain myself.. because I'm even confusing me.. )..

Aaron has always been my favorite nephew *sorry to any of my other nephews that might also be reading my blog but life is hard so suck it up and deal with it* :/ I got to meet his fiance Richie who is just as sweet as Aaron. They seem to be made for each other because their personalities are so much alike.

Just a small observation, I was looking for a card for them the other day and I expected that it would be difficult to find one that didn't say "bride and groom" on it.. but I was pleasantly surprised.. the majority of them had the "happy couple" or words to that effect (happy couple - gay couple.. can you see the difference? I can't see the difference).

The only thing I'm a little worried about is the four to five hour drive and sleeping in a strange bed.. hope my back stays in alignment.

How much does it take to kill a bee?

2008-08-10T22:45:00.002-03:00

Apparently a lot.. because we have bees in our wall that just won't go away.. Ron has sprayed enough bug spray to kill a horse but the danged bees just won't die.. he also sprayed expanding caulking in the hole where they were getting in but the old saying about bees being busy is true because they can get past the strongest deterrent known to man.. I have nightmares about the walls buzzing.. but tomorrow he's putting flashing all along the foundation so unless they have a blow torch or (what I'm afraid of) a back doorway into the basement.. we're good.. Plus it's too hot for my honey (pun intended) to be all decked out in beekeeper gear.

Two Weeks Vacation on the Way!!!

2008-08-08T06:35:00.004-03:00

I just have to work today and then off for two weeks.. got Aaron and Richie's wedding in there, working on the house, a dentist's appointment and most importantly.. an appointment with my chiropractor... lol.. sorry guys but I'm in pain again so all that other stuff takes second place.. :(

Ron got the dining room window in with just four more windows to go after that.. once the windows are in the rest of the work should go quickly... I have to help next week with the blown in insulation but all I have to do is fill the hopper and Ron will be in the hot, stuffy attic doing the main work.. he's anxious to get that over with.

Our pellet stove will be delivered the last Monday in August.. and since we have 140 bags of wood pellets that should do us most of the winter and we have them piled in our front porch so we won't have far to go to get to them in the cold blustery winter days.. now we just have to get a generator in case the power goes off..

Ron's mother, sister and his son were here on Wednesday for a visit and his son, Raul, helped him with the window which was good because it was too heavy for me to lift.. now if we could just get some dry days to dry out the exposed slats of wood on the house before we apply the insulation and wrap... and it ain't looking good according to the long range weather forecast.. keep your fingers crossed.

2008-08-04T21:42:00.000-03:00

My Tarot Card Deck is Complete...

2008-08-04T21:12:00.005-03:00

I've finally gotten them done and to the printers and I'm so proud of how they turned out.. I also did some silky cloth bags to put them in and a hanging tag with the picture of my mystery card that is a feature unique to my deck as far as I know.. There is also a Bio card with a little blurp about me (it's that card in the front).. I got 10 decks printed and they are all sold or spoken for.. The name of the deck is latin and means "first time".. and since this is the first time I've created a deck it suits well..

Damn.. I can't get blogger to upload my pics for me.. I keep getting an error message.. I'll upload them tomorrow if I can..

My Other Hip is Better Now...

2008-07-29T05:58:00.002-03:00

Guess I just overdid it on the house rennovations but yesterday when I went to work it had worked itself out and it didn't bother me the rest of the day... The hip with the sciatica is bothering me a bit this morning but I'm hopeing it's just that it's so blasted humid this morning.. at least we're getting a bit of rain to water the lawns.. it seemed like all the moisture was going to be hanging in the air for a while there..

I don't know if I mentioned it or not but Ron discovered a bee's nest under the shingles on the inside corner of the house on the back behind the oil tank.. so we just have a small strip of shingles to remove but we don't know how to get rid of those buzzing menaces.. at least they aren't getting into the house like they were last year.. he's going to go out today in full combat gear with bee keeper mesh clothes on over a couple of layers of clothes and pull the last row of shingles off.. they are tough little buggers and everything we threw at them so far has not eliminated them.. I know bees are good but not in your walls.. shudder.. and you might know it that the last two row of shingles have around eight big nails in them with numerous small nails as well.. I don't know WHAT they thought was going happen that they had to have so many nails in them.. obvious they didn't keep the bees away.. lol..

Figures.. the Chiropractor is on vacation for two weeks...

2008-07-27T09:03:00.002-03:00

And my other hip locked up on my last night.. I can hardly walk... grrrrr... hopefully some ice and rest will have me moving again for work next week (make that tomorrow!!)... I hate getting old...

I think that I now know what hell feels like...

2008-07-26T11:47:00.002-03:00

I think that I now know what hell feels like... it's been unusually hot and humid!!! And last night was the first night that it stayed hot until early this morning.. I hate heat at night.. (well, heat from the outside.. lol).. It has been too hot and humid to do anything around the house so the outside has remained partly stripped and partly shingles.. :(... Can't wait to get to the applying the new insulation and siding part but especially the new windows part.. We decided to go with an electric hot water heater for the domestic hot water and that, along with the pellet stove, should really decrease our dependance on the oil furnace..

I completed my deck of Tarot cards and it is at the printers as we speak, I went in and got a look at a completed deck yesterday and I'm stoked.. even tho' this first set of 10 decks will leave me in the red because of unexpected costs and buying a shitload of material to make drawstring bags for them.. I'm still excited to see my creation to it's final conclusion.. now if only I was a better sales person I could go out and sell them to some stores.. but I'm such a dweeb at that.. anyone have some sales experience that would be willing to go out and sell, sell, sell?.. *sigh*

My hip is still holding out and if the talk of a retirement package doesn't pan out at least I'm still holding out hope that I'll be able to hang on for the next three years until I'm 60...

Well, on the topic of bad choices... I dyed my hair on Monday... I thought it was a blackish color.. turns out it was burgundy black which looks like grape under certain lights.. and after a week I'm still getting dye stains on my towel when I wash my hair... well we live and learn.. with me, sometimes the hard way.. but I'm getting my hair cut today so I'm going for short and sassy so I'm hoping this old bird can pull it off.. if I don't have my glasses on I look really pale but once I put on my metallic red glasses then it brings the color back into my cheeks.. so what I think is.. it's only hair.. it will grow back into my natural color.. and I always can redye it.. lol... I never learn do I?... phhhtttt...

There was a hold up with the renovations

2008-07-20T10:40:00.004-03:00

We thought that we would be farther along in the renovations than we are because we both ended up with strep throat and had to go on antibiotics.. groan.. but we're all better now and I'm off this week and can help with removing the shingles on the back and end of the house... we're going to be careful to wear some kind of a mask when removing the shingles and whatever's below it because of the dead flies and all kinds of yucky stuff that's under the old shingles.. ewwww.. I think that may have contributed to us feeling so miserable.. I can't wait to get going on everything but I don't like the look of the weather forecast.. it says rain until Thursday.. figures... I'm off this week.. grrrr.. but the weather here changes from hour to hour so we may be able to get a lot done anyway.

More pictures of the renovations

2008-07-20T10:11:00.004-03:00

I have lots of pictures of the renovations in it's various stages..

Here we see Ron slaving away removing the shingles to discover a black, feltlike material below.. so the air leaks were not coming from the area of the shingles..

Another picture of Ron working away (don't you just love to see a man all sweaty?.. lol

This is a view of the front of the house and that's what the whole house will look like once it's done, all nice and green and neat with new windows and everything..

This is what we discovered once we took the black felt stuff off.. white clapboard siding.. so the walls themselves were really tight so the air leak must have been coming from the windows themselves.. there will be a world of difference once we get the new windows installed. I can't wait.

This is our pile of insulating foamboard and other stuff for our renovations.. I'm nervous about having it laying around the yard like that because it's really expensive stuff and I would hate for it to get stolen...!!!!

I'm excited about life again.

2008-07-20T09:56:00.003-03:00

I'm so excited. My pain is leaving at a fast rate and I managed to work the whole week last week (I have this week off for holidays, nice to be off and feeling well). Who would have thought that after only two sessions that I would improve to the extent that I have. I may have to go to him on a regular basis from this point forward but if it keeps the pain away then I'm all for it. Yesterday we went to pick up some things in Charlottetown and we were walking around for quite a while and while we were walking I was pain free. Now once I sat back down into the car is when the pain started but it bothered me just for a few moments when I first sat down. I still have a bit of pain in the morning when I first get up but if it's bad I just put some ice on it off and on for 20 minutes or so and then I'm fine. If the pain isn't too bad I just walk around for a while and it works itself out.

It feels so good to have a positive outlook again.

There is hope for the future now...

2008-07-16T06:26:00.000-03:00

Just a quick update on how I'm doing.. after only two sessions with the chiropractor I have improved immensely.. I wish that I had gone to him first instead of to physiotherapy.. we live and learn..

He was able to get my xrays of my lower back and he said that I have some bone wear and tear in my lower back where it attaches to the hip bone area especially on the right side probably caused by a degenerative bone condition.. they still don't have the second set of xrays back yet and it's been over two months.. sigh... He explained the xrays to me and showed me on a model of the spine what the problem is and took the time to explain it in a way that I could understand...

Now that he has straightened my spine out I can walk for longer distances without pain and he wants me gradually to increase the movement in that area so that I can build some strength back into the right leg.. I'm not as depressed about the whole thing and I'm hopeful that I don't have to go on long term disability and that I'll be able to work for the next three years until I'm 60 (in fact that will be exactly three years from today which is my birthday!!).

OUR RENOVATIONS

2008-07-06T08:12:00.002-03:00

Ron has been working like a demon trying to get the renovations done on our house and now he's got my strep throat so he'll have to slow down a bit. These are some before pictures.

First my ills and then some renovation news.

2008-07-06T06:56:00.005-03:00

For a cherry on top of the ills I've been having I discovered on Friday that I have Strep Throat... throat was scratchy on Thursday and I had a headache and was feeling a bit nauseous. By Friday my throat was red raw and I could only talk in a croak so off to the walk-in clinic to get mega doses of antibiotics (making sure there were no sulfa derivatives) and in no time my throat was feeling much better but my nether regions are a rumbling mess because of the side effects of the drugs (may cause diarrhea.. no kidding!!). Oh.. and to make it perfect, Ron just got it as well.

Everything is up in the air as far as finding out about my hip is concerned, the xrays that were taken about two months ago still haven't been read and my appointment with the specialist isn't until December so I'm really at a loss what to do. My sick time is running out so if I go on long term disability I have to wait 119 days for it to kick in and use up my sick time first. If I don't have enough sick time to carry me the 119 days (which I don't) then I will have to go on sick unemployment which is only 55% of my wages in the interm (LTD is 70%).. We're in the process of doing some MAJOR rennovations on our house to make it more energy efficient so I'm feeling a little desperate here on what to do.

People have been giving me all kinds of advice and the main suggestions have been a chiropractor and/or acupuncture. Not knowing what the problem is exactly, I'm cautious about trying something so drastic but I'm running out of options. Now enough about the complaining already.. I have pictures of the start of our renovations to follow.

More complaining.. then some good news!!

2008-06-12T13:38:00.003-03:00

First off the complaining.. I've been so down with the constant pain in the ass.. literally .. of the sciatic problems that today when I went to the doctor to get a note for work I ended up in tears. The poor doctor didn't know what to do... my hip xrays still haven't come back and it's been a month. I started physio again and I really don't find too much of a change since I started back but they were talking about trying acupuncture on me next time. One thing: I DO have an appointment with the specialist.. but not until DECEMBER!!! (One side effect is that the time doesn't fly by as quickly now even tho' I'm getting so much older by the day.. lol).. reminds me it's birthday time next month.. the big 57.. how many years till retirement?...

Anyway, back on track again with my thoughts... the doctor gave me three perscriptions today.. one for pure codeine.. one for a stool softener to counteract the binding problem with codeine.. and an anti-biotic for a urinary tract infection.. that one I was leery about taking because of my recent bout of Steven-Johnson's syndrome.. but she assured me that this would not have the same results.. we'll just have to see about that.. hmmmm.. *keeps fingers crossed while we wait on that one*.

I'm off work until I get back to see her next week.. I took one of the codeine tablets and I'm feeling a little woozy so forgive the typos.. and the rambling thoughts.

Now what was the good news again?... Oh yeah, even though I'm not even finished designing my Tarot deck and I don't know how much I'm going to be able to sell them for I've already got about 10 decks sold and most of them are going to Australia and in England a friend of mine is going to approach 4 different shops to take a deck on consignment just to see if they will sell. I have to get my butt in gear (now that hopefully there will be less pain) and got a cd over to the printer with a couple of card designs on and a backing for them to print off some cards for me. Then I can get an idea of what the finished product will look like.. I have to tell them the size and quantity before they can work out a quote. Hopefully they won't be way out of whack with the price because I want to make at least some profit.. And I even have some ideas on more decks.

Well I really should go lie down before I fall down.. will keep you up to date on stuff later if anyone is interested.

STOP THE CLOCKS!!!

2008-05-23T08:39:00.003-03:00

If this is what getting older'ish' feels like I'd not only like to stop the clocks but if it's possible could you turn them back 5-10 years? I'm getting so depressed because for the last month I've missed more time from work than I've been there because of my danged hip arthritis and siatica. If I don't get in to see the specialist soon I don't know what I'll do! OK.. now that the whining is over I'll move on.

How many lawn mowers does a person need?.. We have not two, or even three but four of the suckers. With the purchase of an electric lawn mower last weekend that meant we have one of each kind, a ride on, a gas push mower, a battery operated one and now an electric plug in one. Being that I'm unable to help with the mowing because of my bum hip that means that it's up to Ron to do that whole thing and I don't think that it's particularly safe to be using all four at one time.. he may cut off a toe or something.

And I'd like to reiterate that having a dark background with white or light print is really hard on the eyes. Since I've been off work I can't do squat around the house so I've been reading some blogs and those type of ones are pulling my eyeballs right out of my sockets people!!

My garden is coming along well and here are a couple of pictures of my new, pretty blooms...there are more kinds of tulips in bloom and little violets and stuff but this is all I'm putting up for now.. also there are quite a few dandelions in my garden because I haven't been able to get out and do some weeding.. my poor babies are getting all infested.. but then again a weed is just a flower that has fallen out of favour isn't it? That's it for now... later people.

Uncharted Territory

2008-05-17T18:33:00.002-03:00

Today was a step into uncharted territory.. while shopping today my danged hip was bothering me so much that after shopping for around 15 minutes I had to swallow my pride and use a wheel chair. I'm not saying that people that are confined to a wheel chair should be devoid of pride, just that taking the step to that world was humbling and I didn't want to admit that my arthritis had progressed to that point. I was a little embarassed, a lot frustrated and got a teeny, tiny glimpse of the world from the angle of the disabled and it was eye opening.

While I could stand up and reach for things I realised that if I was truely wheelchair bound a large majority of items on shelves would have been well out of my reach. I'm a short person anyway, being just short of 5'2" so I know the frustration of not being able to reach the items on the very top shelves of a supermarket, but from the position of sitting in a wheelchair a good half of the aisle mocked me with the unattainable. And to ask someone to reach for me on a constant basis would have me ready to leave the shopping experience completely to Ron. And I realise that probably after seeing the specialist I may be pain free once more and able to walk with ease and I am grateful of that reality.

On a good note I was informed that I don't have the terrible Rheumatiod arthritis or another urinary tract infection that I was afraid that I was having.. I have to return to physio therapy and will be seeing the specialist to perhaps have cortizone shots.. we'll see.. anyway, life goes on.

In search of cheaper heat;

2008-05-11T20:49:00.004-03:00

We've been looking at pellet stoves to provide our heat in the winter instead of the oil furnace and the wood stove we presently have. Our wood stove povides a good heat but it is getting pretty worn out (we have a brick on top of the inner lining because there's a hole in it. We're going to try and get a low interest loan through the government in order to get the stove and make payments. The stove itself is fairly pricey because we want to go for the higher end because in the long run it will be save us money. Presently it costs us close to $1,000. to fill our tank and we usually burn around $600 of that in a month. If we can get the loan it will cost us anywhere between $90. to $120. a month for the payments plus $5 a day for the pellets (the stove holds a $5.00 bag and that should last a day) so that's approximately $150. a month for the fuel and $120 for the payments if we get the most we can get, making our heating cost $270. Less than half of what we're paying now.

We will still use our present furnace for out domestic hot water and for a backup if we happen to go away for a few days and there's not anyone home to fill the pellet stove.

The end of this month we're getting a guy to come out and do an energy assesment on our home to see what improvements we should do in addition to the stove to make our home energy efficient. We know that there will need to be some additional insulation done in the bottom part of the L of our home. Our home is a storey and a half on one end and a storey on the other half forming an L. We also would like to replace a few more windows and finish replacing the siding.

Tomorrow is back to work. My back is still giving me problems and I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday but I have a feeling that she's going to say that I have to just suffer with it because there's not much they can do for arthritis. I find it so depressing to be in pain all the time and I've been missing so much work that I now wish that I didn't have to go back. I find I get that way when I've been off for a while.

Oh well, guess I'll just have to suck it up.

I now have 17 of the 76 Tarot cards done and they're coming along really well.. This is a sample of what they look like and I'm really excited with how they are turning out. Well, gotta go, see you on the flip side..

Hi ho hi ho.. it's off to work I go..

2008-04-28T07:10:00.003-03:00

Back to the grind, as they say. I'm hoping the computer problems are all worked out.. I'm getting too old for that crap and I'm not feeling up to handling the stress... I took last week off and I just sat around for the whole week and did nothing.. I had wanted to take the time to do a bunch of stuff around the house and get out walking.. I walked once with Ron and the dog and the next two days I suffered with the pain in my hip... I think I'm in a low grade depression right now because I can't take advantage of the nice weather and get out and do stuff without paying later with the pain... Ron is so patient with me because I sat around like a lump for the whole week and only did a bit the last two days towards getting anything done..

I'm going to a seminar on diabetes this weekend with my sister. It's a whole day affair on Saturday and I'm wondering if there will be anything new that I don't already know.. I hope so.. it would be great if I could be drug free but the chances of that are pretty slim.. now if I could take off another 25 pounds to go with the 25 I already have off that might make a difference.. anyone have any ideas?

We looked into getting a pellet stove for heat next winter.. the government has some low interest loans and a few grants for that type of stuff but we have to get an energy audit done.. I know there are areas where we need improvement for sure and the wood stove we have now is pretty well done for... so in the next few months we're going to get under way with the "plan" to make our house more energy efficient.. because the price of heating oil is criminal!! That's all for now.. can someone give me a push out the door to my car?

Work and I have fallen out of favor...

2008-04-21T18:56:00.003-03:00

Ahhh work.. it used to be my means of identification. I was that girl that worked in an office doing gymnastical mind twirls and leaps of imagination. I took great relish in a job well done (and was slightly territorial about my space and job)... who are we trying to fool.. I had my name on ever piece of equipment from pens to office chairs and god help anyone who laid a hand on what was MINE dammit!!.. not any more.. my mind set has been irrevocably changed.

The time until my retirement has become a large stone tied to my neck as I struggle to swim upstream against a tide of discontent. It's like a child preparing their parents for their eventual leaving of home by becoming rebels and struggling against the status quo with all their might until the parents are ready to kick the little jeesers out long before they are ready to leave. I'm not sure if I'm the child or the parent but either way a break is coming. But alas it is years in the coming (or until I have a breakdown, whichever comes first).. and it's looking more like the latter rather than the former as each day passes..

The beginning of the end of my love affair with my job came when we made the news.. the collective "we" of the Provincial Government.. and not in a good way. You see for the last three days of last week our computer system hasn't been working.. I shouldn't say it hasn't been working at all.. we have a split system (much like my personality) and the one that we use to process about 5% or our daily work is working (much like my mind) but the big sucker that we use to process 95% of what we do a day while passing 300 to 400 customer through our happy doors is down 95% of the day.

So we are stuck manually calculating and recording transactions for said 300 to 400 not in a good mood customers. Can you say "stress overload?".. now isn't that a nice happy, sunny frame of mind to be in while contemplating early retirement?

Oh, did I tell you that I have this week off.. great timing for a change. Let someone else deal with all the crap while I vegetate at home (much like I plan to do once I retire). Gotta break myself into it gradually.

My Theory on Weight Loss

2008-04-07T19:30:00.002-03:00

I've had a theory on weight loss for years and it has been proven out once again today making it closer to a law of nature..

You see.. I believe when you lose weight it doesn't just disappear... it stays suspended in the air in the vicinity of your body like a fog or ghost, and when you least expect it, it will attach itself to your friends or family.

As I have said, I have lost 25 pounds and have been feeling great about myself.. my clothes are fitting better, I don't flinch from my reflection in mirrors. I foolishly thought that the weight was gone.. never to return.. and since my friends, family and coworkers hadn't had any major weight gains I pushed my theory to the back of my mind and even attempted to dismiss it.

But today I saw a friend of mine at work who I haven't seen since before Christmas and I noticed his new Budda belly. He had always been fairly fit but ummm he looked a little preggy.. He informed me that he gave up smoking and gained... you guessed it... 25 pounds. Need I say more..

My theory came rushing to mind once again. I thought the curse of the floating fat cells was a thing of myths and imagination but I was WRONG.. DEAD WRONG... so be afraid.. be very afraid.. because I plan on losing more weight.. and you could be the next victim of the fat gas.. don't say you haven't been warned!

The Before and After...

2008-04-07T19:24:00.003-03:00

We have the before... taken a year or so ago...

and we have the after... taken yesterday...

I hadn't realised how much of a difference 25 pounds made until I took that picture.. I'm quite impressed... (even tho' I do say so myself to quote my late mother).. and you can hardly tell that I'm in constant, crippling pain eh?..

It's Spring!

2008-04-06T08:22:00.001-03:00

Time to give the old blog a face lift. If only it was as easy to give this face a lift. I believe it is time for a new icon photo as well. That picture of me is so last year! I was told I look marvelous and hot by a guy I work with (who also told me I looked miserably in pain, how do you process that combination?) so I think that picture should reflect my new hotness, but why is it that hotness doesn't translate on to film or digital technology? You would think that we could successfully take a picture that doesn't show the reality but what I visualise myself looking like in my head. Now that would be progress.