My house is finally finished..

The house is finally finished on the outside with new windows, siding and even a new storm door on the side. It really looks nice. And it is pretty well done on the inside, but are you ever really done?



Just a picture of some really weird carrots.. !!

Couple of pics of Tinka... Plus some random pics.

Picture taken the last of October.. everything is still so green!!


I took this picture and thought.. what the heck is that white speck in the field...



I discovered it was my cat, Penny, looking for mice... mmmm mice... and she likes to share..



Tinka saying.. "hurry up Mom!!"




I say that I'm taking her for a walk.. but sometimes it's the other way around..

Well it's the end of an era..

It's the end of an era, if you can call it that, what constitutes an era anyway? I'm meeting with the people at my employ to officially retire. I have been without any money coming in for 7 months and my appeal has been denied, yet again. I also took an allergic reaction to the latest medications that the doctor gave me for depression (how depressing it that?)... and the Steven Johnson's has come back.

So I will get a settlement from work of one week's pay for every year that I worked (16 years) ... so at least we can put some money back in my savings and pay off the credit cards that were piling up because of needing them for emergencies.

I feel at peace with the whole thing and maybe I can get some relief now that the pressure is off. So it's an ill wind as they say.

I decided I'm going to try my hand at creating 3D products for Poser. There will be a huge learning curve but I now have the time and the desire to try my hand at something new. I'll probably start with free items just to break into the market and once I improve on what I'm doing then I'll create some for sale items. My 2D artwork is popular and I'm using them a lot in my artwork as well.

When I was so depressed in the last few weeks I got involved in a bunch of applications on facebook.. it's great mind numbing entertainment but once I got to a point where I hit rock bottom and then came back up again I tired of it.. It was just depressing me again with all the virtual money I was making while the physical money wasn't there... : |

I'm really depressed about Christmas coming because I have no money for gifts... my daughter is very understanding but I don't know how the grandkids will deal with it.. Oh well, I guess they will have to deal with reality some time.. it took me long enough before I finally did.

HELLO.. HELLo..HELlo.. Hello.. hellooooo...

Wow.. gotta do some housecleaning and get rid of some of the cobwebs that have accumulated here over the last little while.. last post was a couple of months ago.

Well, my doctor put me off of work indefinitely.... I tried going back to work and was an emotional wreck because of the pain. My doctor also gave me an anti-depressants.. and it seems to be working somewhat.. I just upped the dose today after being on it for a week (doctor's orders).

I also sent in the appeal to the insurance company for the Long Term Disability.. I have a diagnosis from my chiropractor who saw the x-rays of my back and diagnosed it immediately. He also showed me the x-rays and even my untrained eye could see that my bottom vertebrae is tilted to the right, where all the pain originates. He said that my vertebrae is thinner on one side because of my degenerative condition and is pinching on the sciatic nerve. His recommendation is that I either have surgery or that I go on LTD. We'll see if his recommendation has any weight with the insurance company.. I'm not holding my breath.

My family doctor is trying to set me up with a surgeon who specializes in the spine to see if surgery is necessary. I think that being in pain for two years would constitute a need for surgery but we'll see how that goes.

On a lighter note, our new puppy, Tinkabelle or Tinka for short, is just so sweet and cuddly that it makes my day brighter just to be around her.. even if she does occasionally go to the bathroom in the house, even though we let her outside a dozen or so times a day.. *sigh*.. the joys of dog ownership... lol

Tinka's adventure into the big world...

some videos...

Tinka's new style of travel.. and Ron gets to carry a purse... :)

Some Pictures of Tinka

Good day my dear readers...

I am still here although I haven't wanted to bore you all with tales of my woes.. I'm still off of work so there is no money coming in and I'm getting desperate. I put a request in to return to work on a trial basis but apparently my doctor hasn't sent the papers back to my workplace yet.. also they have to find me a job that will accommodate my reduced abilities. I feel like I'm sinking in a sea of despair... now aren't you glad I've avoided sharing that little bit of cheer your way?...

On a brighter note we have gotten a little puppy (I know ... another one?)... well the last pup only lasted two weeks and he went back.. he was very destructive with chewing and messing all over the house. So we waited a while and now we have a hybrid pup.. part Shih Tzu and part Pekingese, and her name is TinkaBelle but we call her Tinka for short. She's tan and white and pretty smart and very adorable.. I'll post a couple of pictures of her so you can see what she looks like. Ron has her almost house broken and at 12 weeks that's pretty good I'd say.

Was to see the specialist once again.

I was to see the specialist once again to get the results of the CT scan.. I've now had a CT scan, a full bone scan and an MRI...

I have good news and bad news .. the good news is that it's not bone cancer that is causing my pain which the specialist was afraid of. The bad news is that it's not anything that can be fixed surgically and the specialist doesn't feel comfortable filling out the long term disability because he can't make a definitive diagnosis. So I asked him where that leaves me. He said that the pain will have to be managed somehow (and he couldn't seem to understand why I was upset, just thought that I should be elated that it wasn't cancer!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it's not cancer but I'm still frustrated with the pain. He is going to give me a cortisone shot on the 28th to see if that can help. I told him that I already had a cortisone shot and it didn't help, he said that he is going to give me a much stronger shot because if the shot isn't strong enough or isn't in the exact correct place then it may not work (encouraging eh?).

Also, the note that my family doctor gave me for the EI was only for the first of April so that is run out as well, I'm seeing her on the 27th to see if she can give me another note for the remaining 7 weeks I'm entitled to for EI and then hopefully the cortisone shot will work and I can get back to work next month some time.

The specialist as well is suggesting that I be enrolled in a pain management clinic. So after the shot hopefully I can start back to work. Send healing thoughts my way everyone.

Oh and just a side note: We took the pup, Bailey, back to the Humane Society because he was putting us in a lot of stress that we didn't need at this time.

Well the cat, Penny, told Bailey what for last night.. lol.. Bailey was wanting to play with her but Penny would have nothing of it.. Penny went up a few steps and Bailey was barking at her.. then Bailey started up the steps to play with her and Penny hauled back and swatted her on the nose a couple of times (Penny has no front claws so it scared Bailey more than anything.. lol)... Right now Bailey is at the bottom of the stairs and Penny is about three steps up and won't let Bailey come any further.. lol.. I don't think our cat is too happy with us peoples..

My Gawd! that dog chews a lot.. and puts everything in his mouth!.. you can't lay anything anywhere and he's into it.. and taking him for a walk you have to keep moving or he eats pebbles.. at least he doesn't mind you putting your fingers into his mouth to take stuff out... I hope this puppy stage doesn't last too long (I know.. yeah right.. lol)

Well we got through the first night with him.. he made it to the pee pads 50% of the time .. so we'll have a job getting him house-broken but he spent the night upstairs with Ron in his room and was really quiet all night with no whining so that's good.. he's teething so we have to keep an eye out that he doesn't destroy the furniture and offer him a chew toy when he gets to gnawing on something he's not supposed to .. I think that yesterday he was getting over the anesthetic from his surgery from the night before because he threw up a bit after we took him for a walk.. but he was excellent walking on the leash considering it was his first time!!!!

We have renamed him from Trouble to Bailey and he sure is one handsome boy.. and he'll have a lot more energy than our last little doggie... whether that's good or bad remains to be seen.. lol..

New member of the family..

Well it's been a month, almost to the day, that we had to put our Missy down. We had went to the humane society of PEI and were looking at dogs but I think that we were trying to get another Missy. That wasn't fair to the dogs or to us. So when we saw a litter of pups come up for adoption we (make that me) decided that we would go for something completely different instead .. this is Trouble and he's a part smooth collie and part mutt.. he had been well socialized and gets along with cats. He's going to get a lot bigger than our little Missy was but than again Ron will be able to take him on walks and he will actually be able to keep up unlike Missy who would be great going but not coming home, she would normally drag behind. I'm looking forward to having another dog in the house but not looking forward to the house training.. pooo pooo ewwwy.. lol..

We're back and forth on getting a dog. We went to the spca shortly after we lost Missy to look at dogs but I think that it was too soon. I sent an email to a dog breeder friend about her keeping an eye out for us on a dog but she hasn't gotten back to me on that yet. There is an interesting dog on the spca web page right now called Harmony that we may have a look at (she's good with cats which is a plus for us because of Penny the cat, poor thing, has put up a lot with Sophie and then Missy). We'll just have to wait and if the right dog is out there we will know it when we see it.

On Penny, she's such a patient cat, when we were giving them both a treat, Missy was the one who gulped her food before it hit the floor and Penny was daintily eating hers and Missy would take the food right out of Penny's mouth and Penny wouldn't do a thing, not hiss or growl, just let Missy do whatever she wanted. And Missy was so jealous of Penny that if Penny started to go towards me Missy would push at her feet with her muzzle like she was herding sheep and Penny would just walk away from me without putting up a fuss. Now Penny has all of my attention and she's getting so cuddly, sitting on my lap in the evening while I'm watching TV.

That's the main reason why we are taking our time with getting another dog because we want to be sure it will get along with Penny.

Yet more tests coming...

Just got back from the specialist and I'm still no further ahead.. from the MRI they detected, in the lumbar area where there is some pinching of the nerves that come out but not to the extent that surgery is required.. but in my hip area there was an inflammation showing up from the bone scan that he is going to follow up on.. so in for more tests.. this tiime a CT scan of that area.. he's going to put urgent on it because of the long wait I've had up to this point.. so he said I may get a call this week and to contact them as soon as I get my call so that they can schedule a follow up appointment.. oh and the cancer thing was a mistake... whew.. which I figured it was anyway..

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...I'm not sure if I want there to be something operable or not... my brother has had back surgeries and he said avoid an operation at all costs.. his operation didn't hold ... so I'm sort of torn about the whole thing... it would be nice to have an operation and have everything taken care of but at the same time it would be good to be able to fix it without surgery (say with proper physiotherapy)... So I'll know shortly and then next Monday I see the specialist to get the results of my MRI on my lumbar spine... My stomach is in knots right now.. I hate the unknown!!!!
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Back home and this is what I found out!!!


Now that was a bizarre, unsettling appointment... first off the results of the bone scan showed some inflammation (no big surprise there) but no pinpoint of what was causing it.. I go Monday to see that specialist on the MRI.. but while I was there my doctor asked me if I had a chest x-ray done when I went in for the bone scan and I told her not as far as I know. Then she proceeded to tell me that there was a notation of CA lung which in doctor's terms meant lung cancer... she asked me if the specialist had mentioned lung cancer to me.. I told her no and so she said that it suggested x-rays so she sent me to the hospital to get them done and put a notation on it that she believes there was an error on the bone scan form (she suggested that maybe they couldn't make out his writing.. why in heavens name don't they have multiple choice forms where they can check off what they need done or else learn how to write legibly?). So off I trot to get the x-rays done which thankfully were quick and painless and in Canada is covered by medicare .. now I have to wait until Monday to see what the specialist says...

You may wonder if it's worth while to be entering contests on the net, or not if you're not aware of the 3D contest-entering world... besides perfecting your craft there are many many prizes to be won.. since I started entering competitions and having pictures picked for Picture Of The Week at websites devoted to 3D art.. (the first winning I see as December of 2007 but there could have been one or two before that) ... anyway.. in that little over a year I've won approximately $1075.00 worth of prizes!!!!!!!!!! Now if that isn't an incentive to enter some contests I don't know what is... lol...

Oh and I probably have many more times that in freebies from Daz since I joined in 2006 and started getting their newsletter... in fact there is only a small portion of my total runtime that I've had to pay for..

OK.. I just went through all of my Daz product to see the value of the items I got for free (I know.. but I don't have something better to do.. ) and it's mind boggling.. I got a total of $1919.30 of items completely free since October of 2006 and I know that there were periods of time that I didn't get any items because I was without a computer. There are a few items that are no longer available so I have no idea what the value of them are so we'll say that the value would be topping the $2000.00 mark... Also, from Daz3D I spent $166.80 and that includes the Platinum Club membership and two renewals.. so I actually spent $120.85 on actual products over the span of my membership and in addition to all the freebies I saved $1240.00 on products.. so I have saved at least $3160.00 in Daz products that I spent $166.80 to get.. I'd say that was pretty good return on my money don't you think?

So to sum it all up I have $3160 free from Daz plus the 1075.00 in prizes so that the value of the product that I didn't have to pay for is around $4235.00 give or take a few dollars... wow.. that blows me away big time.. I'm on a very tight budget so I don't have a lot of money to spend on all of this stuff but I have a humongous amount of product free.. WOW... gotta love the 3d world eh?

The Mail That Made Me Cry

Ron went out and checked the mail and there was a sympathy card from the vet's office (it had doggies on the front and With Heartfelt Sympathy on the Loss of Your Friend as a caption) with this hand written inside..

"Dear Ron and Kathy, You did the best you could and it is unfortunate Missy didn't understand. Then, in the end, you made the only kind decision. Our sympathy is with you in your loss... "

It was signed by all the staff... Makes me cry all over again to read it...

Oh and my niece Donna had given me a sympathy card and a little white doggy statue to put on my computer desk right after we lost Missy... that made me cry too... :*(

We went last week to the humane society to adopt another dog but our hearts just weren't in it.. the dogs were cute but not our Missy.. will take us a while to not compare a new dog with her.. if it ever comes about.

Our cat Penny is a lot more relaxed without a dog in the house.. I think that she was getting stressed (although she liked to torture the dog with her antics.. lol).

We made the hardest decision of my life yesterday.

We decided that it would be best all around to have Missy put down. Our vet agreed with us because of Missy's unusual sensitivity in her skin even on the scruff of her neck which is usually not sensitive at all and the fact that the insulin shots and the resulting strain on us and Missy was not good for any of us. We took her in and had a long talk with the vet explaining her reactions to getting the needle (he had first hand knowledge of her sensitivity) then told him that to have her put down would be the most humane thing to do and he agreed saying that she wouldn't understand why someone who has been so good to her would be putting her through so much pain every day. She was becoming cross and starting to nip at us if we put our hands near her neck. We were unable to give her the shot the day before because of her violent reaction to getting the needle and the resulting bending of the needle tip when we tried to get it into her. We said our goodbyes and both of us broke down and I'm still in mourning for our sweet little girl. Even though we knew it was for the best it's still tearing my heart out. It will be a long time before we ever get another dog, if ever. Thank goodness we have our cat Penny to help ease the pain somewhat although she's getting old too (she's 10 years old and an outside cat).

Giving Missy her shots has become a major stress all around

We are at the end of our ropes with giving Missy her shots. She has refused to allow us to do it and today the needle got bent because she struggles so violently when we try to give her the shots. Her skin is abnormally tender, her skin is very taught causing it to be difficult to pinch the skin to raise it up for the shot and the vet has said that he has never had a dog mind having a shot in the scruff of it's neck like Missy minds having one in hers. She even yelps when you pinch the skin gently in between your fingers. If it was just giving her the shots and she tolerated it there would be no problem but we are stressing all the way around now and we have to make a difficult decision tomorrow about whether we are prepared to continue on with it or let her go. She can't not have her insulin and I don't know if the stress we are putting her though and us through means that she will have any quality of life.

My back/hip has increased in pain because of the stress and I'm ending up having to take more Demerol as a result and I think I might be developing an ulcer. If we do decide to put her down it will devastate us both but if we don't what kind of a life is that for us as well. It may seem like we are selfish but I don't see it that way.. we gave it a good go at trying to do this for her sake. It just didn't work out.

Just a little addition to the previous post

Just a little addition to the previous post.. I know before if I ever heard of anyone who had an animal the was diabetic I thought (I'd never give an animal insulin shots.. I'd put the animal down first).... ahhhh the old "NEVER"... famous last words... lol

Our Missy has diabetes

Missy has been feeling unwell now for a couple of weeks and has been throwing up.. so yesterday we took her to the vet and had blood tests run. The vet thought it was diabetes with the possibility of Cushings Disease because of some of the symptoms.. Poor Missy had to have a muzzle put on her so that she wouldn't bit the nurse of doctor when they took a vial of blood out of her little skinny leg.. she looked like she was going to smother because she couldn't get her mouth open to pant and dogs don't do well with breathing through their noses.. When I got home yesterday I was beside myself with being upset.. the tests for the Cushings are very expensive (200 to 300 dollars just for the tests) and since I'm laid off on sick unemployment we were thinking that we would have to have her put down if it came to having to have multiple, expensive tests done on her..

This morning..

We had her to the vet this morning to have her first insulin shot and to have an antibiotic because she had a fever yesterday and from talking with the vet for an hour (and this is a Sunday to boot.. he had to go in and tend to the animals in the clinic so got us to go in and he charged us the regular visit fee) and I'm feeling a lot better about it... the threat of Cushings Disease is not looming over us as much.. he seemed to think that her diabetes is the main problem.. poor little Missy was just vibrating with fear when we took her in because of yesterday's experience.. but she took the needles well and now we have her home.. we have to give her a shot once a day because it's the slow release kind and he started her on a low dose for a few days to see how she tolerates it.. her blood sugars were more than double what they should be so she is definitely a diabetic... he said her liver is effected but hopes it will start functioning better once the insulin takes effect.

So hopefully she will return to a more normal life once everything levels out.. I guess at first Ron will have to give her her insulin shots but I will have to get over my fear of needles so that I can giver her her shot if he's not around.

My back is just killing me this morning and I had to take a Demerol when we got home because of the pain.. stress will tend to make my back worse and this morning and yesterday were BIG stress inducers..

Turn Around is Fair Play

Our cat Penny has a new way to torture our dog Missy. Missy is getting old and has a hard time maneuvering the stairs and takes a few moments to get started so usually I go upstairs first and know that she will be along in a few seconds.. but lately she's been standing at the bottom of the stairs and whining and when we go and look, here's Penny laying fully across the third or fourth step so that Missy can't get past her.. she gets really pissed off when we tell her to move too.. I have to say here that Missy has been chasing Penny since we got her almost so I guess this is Penny's way of getting to the top of the pecking order (literally).

More on the home front

First off, my doctor put me off of work for another two months until I get back to see the specialist. So I've had to apply for sick unemployment to carry my through until then. That must have been the hardest decision that I've had to make in my life. I was so stressed out about it that I got two huge cold sores on my mouth. Not a pretty sight but at least I'm not out and about much for people to see it.. lol. I had used up all of my sick time at work so if I took any more time off I would have to do it without pay and every morning now I wake up in pain and need to take Demerol so I can't function taking that. So here I sit..

My items are selling well at Renderosity, especially my wolves and my mind is bursting with other possible things to sell. I really love the whole concept and hope that I can come up with stuff that people will want to buy.

I went in for what I thought was an MRI on Monday but it turns out it was a bone scan instead. The machine that took the scan was all open on the sides so no fear of becoming claustrophobic the actual MRI on my lumbar spine on March the 3rd with an appointment with the specialist on the 16th to get my results. So my options are, go on long term disability, get fixed up or retire..

Missy had her haircut..

We braved the cold to take Missy in for her haircut.. we made sure we brought her little knitted sweater with us so that she would be warm afterwards.. at first she was a little miffed at us but now she's much better... Here's a before and after picture and a picture taken of her with her boyfriend Lovett who lives just down the street..








There's a story that goes with Missy and Lovett.. When we first got Missy, when we took her for a walk down the road, she'd growl at Lovett when he would come out to greet us. Lovett is so friendly and has been in love with Missy from first sight. I don't know all the detail of Missy before we got her but I don't think that she was socialized much with other dogs... she's usually very passive with other dogs on their property (don't let them come near HER property tho'..lol).. but with Lovett she wouldn't tolerate him, even on his property and she's growl at him and generally be a bitch... lol... But eventually she would put up with his smelling her and inviting her to play with an aloof indifference while Lovett would be all happy, bouncing love dog..

Gradually she got that she even would give him a tail wag and an occasionally a bark hello. Now I think that she's in love with him too.. she runs to greet him and races with him around the clay track where we walk (Lovett's owner has a clay track where they exercise their race horses).. It's so good to see Missy finally know how to play with another dog. So when we finally get back to see him she'll be able to show off her new haircut. Lovett will fall in love all over again...

Working on another product for my store

I have the angel wings and now the foxes in the store at Renderosity and I can put one more thing in there as well so I decided that I would do up some wolves. I'm going to have a total of 10 wolf figures like this one attached and I was trying to decide between $8.00 and $10.00 per pack and decided to split the difference and charge $9.00... I've had some good response on them so far where I showed them in a group I belong to.. So if I can make some extra pocket change then that would be great..

Got a haircut...

I picked today, the coldest day of the winter so far to get a haircut. My hair had gotten really long and since I have a short neck I find that shorter hair suits me better... also my hair is painfully fine so any kind of sweeping, french braid type hairstyle lays so flat against my head that it looks like my hair is painted on.. not a good look. Since my back/hip has been bothering me for so long I have lost interest in dying my hair to cover the grey so I had been letting it grow out. So all the artificial color is now gone and I gotta admit that there isn't THAT much grey ... just a little bit on my left bangs and the temple on that side (odd I know but then again I'm odd) so I don't see a need to dye my hair in the near future.. maybe I'll give that up for a while..

And we have an appointment to get our little poodle, Missy's hair cut tomorrow.. we're taking her little winter jacket with us because it's supposed to be another bitterly cold day tomorrow with a wind chill factor of -40 degrees celcius... brrrr... but she's getting matted and so we decided to invest in a clip and a shampoo tomorrow for her.. As she's getting older she minds going to the groomer more than she did when she was a bit younger... we all get grouchy when we get older...

Well I now have a storefront at Renderosity

This is so exciting.. just click the link and you can see my store (as of this moment I only have one item in there but hope to have the second in there soon)... my store front ... they have a half a million customers so hopefully I can make bunches of sales..

Continuing with the commerce news..

I also have a huge package of the angel wings in both light and dark colors that I'm putting in the renderosity store.. if they pass testing I'll end up with my own store in there and I'll post the link to that if and when that happens.. here's some promo pictures for that combined set..








Here's a picture I made using the midnight pink wings.. click on it and the other pictures to get the full effect..

OK.. more on my commerce ....

I have the foxes at one store.. the link is here ..

I also have come up with some angel wings.. they went up in the store yesterday and the link for them is here ... They are angel wings that are in psd format and what, you may ask can you do with them?.. well this... for one (see below) .. lol.. The wings went in the store last night and I heard that there was a sale of one set already.. I also did some dark wings that will be in the store as well in the next day or so...

First off my MRI

I got word that I go in for my MRI the 2nd of February and I have to go back to the specialist on the 20th of February. So I'm moving forward with this at least. But that's not saying there is anything that the doctor can do for me. We'll have to wait and see.

Tried going for a tiny little walk yesterday.. only a 5 minute one but it's better than nothing as they say.

Well another year has started and I have begun the new year being put off work for a month by my doctor (guess she got tired of me going in and blubbering all over her examining table). I finally got in to see the specialist and he thinks it's more in my back than my hip.. maybe a pinched nerve.. he will know more once I get the MRI done. So I'm waiting impatiently for my letter from the hospital telling me when I can go in and have it done. Since I've been off and take the Demerol I feel a lot better, in fact sometimes I think that I should be able to go back to work.. but then I have a morning like this morning and my back and hip are giving me grief again... so what can I say.. life sucks sometimes.. but it could be worse..

Since I'm at home with time on my hands I've been designing some 2d items and getting them ready for market.. besides the foxes (which are in one small online store already) I have designed and am getting packaged up some angel wings.. I'll post the promo picture here once I have it all done up. I'm going to put them in a huge online store for 2d and 3d items called Renderosity. May only make a few dollars on them but I should be able to support my creative addiction with what I can make... lol..

Below is a picture that I created with some of my 3d items I purchased or won.. Pretty well all of the items, the character textures and morphs, the hair and the clothing I got from winning on line competitions so lately I've not had to buy too much for my Daz or Poser addiction..

In the last month or so I've won a half a dozen competions with the total prize amount in the hundreds of dollars in product.. too bad it isn't cold hard cash.. but at least it's saved me from spending lots of the cold hard stuff..

I have ventured into the land of commerce...

As per my last post, I have a new toy and I've been drawing foxes with it.. I got enough done, zipped them up, put a readme file with them and am going to sell them to the 2d world.. here are the promo pictures for them..

Merry Christmas to Me!!

Christmas is coming and it's that time of year when Ron and I get something for ourselves for our Christmas present. We don't buy for each other, we just buy something for ourselves that we want and call it a present.. lol.. works for us.

So we were in Future Shop and I spied a Wacom Bamboo Fun Digital Drawing Tablet and I knew that was my present. They had two sizes, a 4x6 and an 8x5 and I decided to go with the larger one. That particular one was $200 + after taxes and I'm in love.. lol.. here's a picture I drew with the tablet, my first of many I'm sure... it's from a tutorial I purchased a couple of months ago doing this with a computer mouse is hard if not impossible but was mundo easy with the drawing tablet. I know that I have a lonnnngg way to got to really perfect this but I'm quite proud of my first attempt.

Got the Animal Dilated Eye Look Goin' on...

I was in for my annual visit with the ophthalmologist today so I can't look directly at the screen right now.. lol.. He reminded me that it's been 17 + years since I was diagnosed with diabetes and so far (knock on wood) my eyes have not changed since the first photos that were taken way back then.. so that's good. I always take the day off for this particular treatment because I'm not able to drive afterward and working on the computer is out of the question also I tend to get a migraine from the strain of trying to get my dilated eyes to focus. So I'm off today and will be doing some sewing which is easier on the eyes.

I didn't put at tree up this year. It seems a waste because we always go to Amherst for Xmas eve and day and we are living in the country so we don't tend to get company way out here especially this time of year when the roads start to slicken up with snow and ice. Also with my sore hip it seemed like too much of an effort this year.

Ron found an unpleasant visitor snuggled up to him in bed the other night.. a RAT!!!! He flung it off the bed but the time he got the light turned on and got armed with a stick it was gone.. but the next day he caught one in the kitchen but again he wasn't able to find something to kill it with before it took off into the livingroom. He went into town and got all kinds of traps, an ugly looking one that we have to be sure that the cat and dog don't have access to and a sticky trap. Behind our kitchen stove was a hole chewed in the wall where the rat got out so he put the traps there to catch the rat and it turned out the sticky one was the one that did the trick. He "disposed" of it without me being there to see and I'm sure glad he's here because I'm afraid the rat or rats would have free rein of the place. He said that rats are really vicious when they're cornered... *shudder*. He had caught three mice before this rat and we used humane traps to catch and release them but the rat went DOWN.. We also got some of those sonic devices to hopefully prevent more mice or rats from coming into the house.. ahhh the joys of living in the country.

Well, I'm gonna start whining so if you don't wanna see it I would suggest you close this message (and it ain't a pretty sight so I don't blame you)..

As many of you know I have a problem with my hip, right leg and back because of sciatica. Well, I have been going to see a chiropractor because physiotherapy wasn't working and for a while it was working great.. now.. not so much..

Lately I'm in a lot of pain again, I find it hard to concentrate and I'm getting really bad headaches and my neck is constantly aching. Yesterday when I went back to the chiropractor he said that my right leg is starting to lose it's strength again and he checked out me neck and it turns out my neck is also out of alignment. I feel on the verge of tears most days and the depression is starting to set in again because I can't see an end in sight.

I see the specialist in two weeks time and if he tells me there is nothing they can do for me I'll have a big time pity party and you are all invited. I know there are other people in here that are suffering with chronic pain and some worse than me and I don't know how you cope day to day.. I know mine isn't life threatening like some in here who have coped amazingly well with what life has thrown at them.. But we are, after all, pretty self absorbed creatures and most times can't see beyond our little world of self indulgence, so I am wallowing for a while.

Most days I feel like a failure because I have been missing a lot of work again because of the pain. I can't take anti-inflammatories because I am allergic to them and so mostly I've been trying to cope without the aid of drug treatments. So if I'm quiet at times you will know what it's about..

If I didn't have my poser/3d creating to do and shut real life out I don't know what I'd do.. mostly I just want to crawl in a hole and hybernate most days...

So the whining is over for today.. thank you for listening/reading and you may go back to your regularly scheduled programming.. Kathryn

another day ... another pound...

They say you're not supposed to lose weight too fast but since this is only for two weeks, and I imagine some of it will come back once I start eating dairy, wheat and meats again, I'm not too worried.. I'm down to 178.6 this morning so that's three and a half pounds off in as many days.. I'm almost ashamed to admit that once I put my mind to losing weight my body just naturally loses without too much effort..

I got some corn flakes for my breakfast and so far so good.. I'm going to cook up a bunch of brown rice and vegetables today and portion them out and make up some lunches or dinners with them.. and along with the chili from the other day I should be able to make meals without having to worry about trying to come up with ideas for a week or so any way. I also have a big salad all prepared but I find I really don't care for salad in the colder months.. I like warm food that will stick to the old ribs... that's from when we were kids and would have to walk to school in the winter.. had to have a belly full of warm food to keep you going.. lol

My big goal is to get as much weight as possible off my body so that it will hopefully relieve my hip and possibly avoid having surgery... also if I get walking (shut up David.. I knew you were right all the time.. just didn't want to admit it!).. then the muscles will build up and make the hip more stable.. We can all dream..

Plus my doctor will be happy because my diabetes is improving already (and you gotta keep your doctors happy right... doesn't matter if I'm happy... phhhhtttt)... yeah... as if...

I've started a cleansing...

I've decided to do a 2 week cleansing. I'm not going the pop a pill route but decided to do it by eliminating certain foods from my diet. In doing so I should rid my body of certain foods that are known to cause the body to overwork to process them.

For these two weeks there will be no meats, no sugar, no wheat and no dairy. I know, what does that leave?.. Well, not a lot, but I can hack it for the next two weeks and then I'm back on the weight watchers again. I had gained back almost half of what I took off (at least it wasn't all back on : / ).. but I was feeling just worn out and tired all the time. So I was back up to 182 from the 170 or so that I was at before the dreaded "hip incident!!". But considering it's been almost a year with no exercise and eating to find comfort when I was suffereing it wasn't too bad.

So as far as what I can eat, I got some vanilla soya milk to replace the dairy, some soya faux hamburger and lots and lots of different types of beans to replace the meat, some corn flour bread and some rice pasta to replace the wheat. On top of that I am eating lots of fruit and vegetables plus rice and potatoes so lots and lots of fiber!!!! I thought that I'd be full of gas and bloated because of all the fiber and beans but so far so good. And I've lost 3 pounds so far and it's been only three days. I can live with this for two weeks and I must admit the chili I made yesterday with kidney beans and black beans was to die for... mmmm.. and it sticks to the ribs.
I wouln't want to become a vegetarian or something but I must admit since I've been without those foods my mind is a lot clearer and I do have more energy. Will keep you posted on how I do.

The front porch changed

As you can see by this picture the front porch is all closed in which should save us some heating bills this winter as well because it should break down on air leaks.. *if you click on the picture you can see the enlarged picture.. *

The outside finished.. or almost...

I'm not sure which way this is going to display but here are three pics of the house.. the first one shows the old cedar shingles which should be beautiful but instead, because they were improperly installed look like crap.. and the second picture shows the house with just part of the house done.. and the third shows it in it's final stages (for the outside at least) showing the faux board and batten style.. ain't it purty.. ????

Getting near the end...

Ron put the final panels on the house on the weekend and painted the front so we are one step closer to being finished. The house looks so much better being all one colour now. Hope the high winds and rain didn't strip the paint off of the house last night.. at least we didn't get the hurricane that the weather people were hinting at. Pictures to follow.

I've been so tired lately.. I go to bed early and wake up tired lately.. I hate getting old..

As For Our Renovations

Today we went into Home Hardware and purchased materials to do over our bathroom downstairs.


- new corner shower
- shower head for shower
- new toilet
- vanity
- vanity top
- taps for vanity

We got them on a 12 equal payments, no interest, no down payment plan. And most of the stuff was on sale. You won't be able to recognize that it's the same house once we're done of it, inside and out.

The electrician was here to put a vent in the upstairs bathroom since we have the house a lot tighter we had to have a way to get rid of the extra moisture. When they installed the vent there was a nail that fell from the area of the hole that they cut and we discovered it was a square nail. So I guess the house is around 100 years old after all. We were told by the inspector when we first bought it that he didn't think it was that old because they used square nails back then and he didn't see any when he inspected it.

We were looking at floor coverings for the bathroom and the downstairs bedroom to complete the replacement of the floors. I'll have to start a new blog just to show the whole slew of before and after pictures!!

We're considering putting a special siding around the back door to break up the look and it's going to be quite expensive but it will be from an Island manufacturer and will really add to the look of the house.

Ron's going to install a vent for the attic in the lower area because the roof got bowed because there was no venting in there.. it won't correct the bowing but hopefully will prevent it from getting any worse.

Did I mention that we installed a new vent for the dryer so that it goes out the soffit of the house? So this winter there won't be any snow in the dryer lint trap like there was last year.. phhhttt..

It's hard to keep up with all the stuff that has been done up to this point because Ron keeps doing more and more stuff.

He now has all the outside insulation done, the windows installed that we are doing this year, the tybac is on and all the taping and sealing is done.. We were getting a bit worried because we were behind our expected completion date. It's a good thing that Ron can do most of the work himself because as soon as the weather improved he was able to get right at it.

Last weekend we bought a generator for the pellet stove in case we lose power. It is heavy enough to run a few other things as well.

Just passing by

Just popping in to apologize for not being here much lately.. I've been busy and will fill you in on all my adventures a bit later.. gotta get ready for work right now.. talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone people.

This is the year of the rennovations....

We have spent mega bucks on the house this year getting it the way we want it.. we're taking pictures of the house and all of the things we have installed or fixed up and are going to create a binder showing all that we have done.. in addition to being a great remembrance book it will be a way to document the improvements we have made to the place in case we were to sell it in the future (it better be waaaay in the future because I want to enjoy the place once it's completed)...

and in no particular order... Ron did/we had someone come in and do the following...
- Ron replaced the roof.. that was more than a little dangerous!
- Ron replaced the upstairs bedroom window
- our furnace went and we had to have it replaced
- we got a new water pressure tank for the well to increase the water flow
- we got a hole dug and a sump bucket installed for the new sump pump
- Ron redid over the whole interior of the house.. or at least 90% of it by..
- installed new laminate floors through most of the house
- painted or wallpapered the interiour
- the electrician installed a new breaker box to replace the old fuse box
- we bought a new electric hot water heater to be installed in the near future
- we have a new pellet stove
- Ron replaced the dining room, kitchen, downstairs bathroom and downstairs walk-in closet windows and has one for the den to replace
- Ron's in the process of putting new insulation and siding on the house
- We put blown in insulation in the lower attic
- since we moved in we replaced the washer, dryer and just got a new fridge
- we had the electrician install a new circuit upstairs so that we can run a heater in the winter if necessary
- Ron replaced the sink in the upstairs bathroom
- Ron built a little shed for the ride on lawnmower
- Ron did work on the old garage/workshop, insulated and replaced the roof as well as put in a wooden floor over the old clay floor

I think that's everything we've done so far..

what we want to do in the future is....
- replace the bathroom window and the upstairs other bedroom window
- put in a shower downstairs
- replace the stove
- replace the dishwasher
- redo the driveway
- install a water softener system
- do something about the basement
- fix the window by the back door **done**
- redo the floors in the main bedroom downstairs and do over the new bathroom
- replace the tub and toilet in the upstairs bathroom (that may not get done).

So our "to do" list is a lot shorter than our "done" list..

I'm too tired to try and arrange the wording over each picture.. lets just say that rain didn't dampen the spirits of this wedding.. there were lots of raincoats, umbrellas and DANCING!!! OH.. and kissing.. lol.

This is the view out our Motel window..

A little creepy but Aaron, always the optimist, said that they were probably lovely people buried there..

A Few Pics of the Wedding

First is Aaron and Richie saying their vows...























Then the two Janets lighting a candle for their sons (both mothers are called Janet!)
























This is Aaron and Richie.. they looks so happy... and CUTE!!















And these are the parets with the newlyweds.. my sister and her husband on the left and Richie's parents on the right...


*These photos are from Aaron's brother, Andy*

My Nephew's getting married next Saturday..

My Nephew's getting married next Saturday.. it's to be a momentous occasion for more than the usual reasons.. you see.. his fiance is Richie.. so it will be the first gay marriage in the history of our family..

It's to be my first same-sex wedding (that I'm attending, not participating in, not that I have participated in one either.. should I stop trying to explain myself.. because I'm even confusing me.. )..

Aaron has always been my favorite nephew *sorry to any of my other nephews that might also be reading my blog but life is hard so suck it up and deal with it* :/ I got to meet his fiance Richie who is just as sweet as Aaron. They seem to be made for each other because their personalities are so much alike.

Just a small observation, I was looking for a card for them the other day and I expected that it would be difficult to find one that didn't say "bride and groom" on it.. but I was pleasantly surprised.. the majority of them had the "happy couple" or words to that effect (happy couple - gay couple.. can you see the difference? I can't see the difference).

The only thing I'm a little worried about is the four to five hour drive and sleeping in a strange bed.. hope my back stays in alignment.

How much does it take to kill a bee?

Apparently a lot.. because we have bees in our wall that just won't go away.. Ron has sprayed enough bug spray to kill a horse but the danged bees just won't die.. he also sprayed expanding caulking in the hole where they were getting in but the old saying about bees being busy is true because they can get past the strongest deterrent known to man.. I have nightmares about the walls buzzing.. but tomorrow he's putting flashing all along the foundation so unless they have a blow torch or (what I'm afraid of) a back doorway into the basement.. we're good.. Plus it's too hot for my honey (pun intended) to be all decked out in beekeeper gear.

Two Weeks Vacation on the Way!!!

I just have to work today and then off for two weeks.. got Aaron and Richie's wedding in there, working on the house, a dentist's appointment and most importantly.. an appointment with my chiropractor... lol.. sorry guys but I'm in pain again so all that other stuff takes second place.. :(

Ron got the dining room window in with just four more windows to go after that.. once the windows are in the rest of the work should go quickly... I have to help next week with the blown in insulation but all I have to do is fill the hopper and Ron will be in the hot, stuffy attic doing the main work.. he's anxious to get that over with.

Our pellet stove will be delivered the last Monday in August.. and since we have 140 bags of wood pellets that should do us most of the winter and we have them piled in our front porch so we won't have far to go to get to them in the cold blustery winter days.. now we just have to get a generator in case the power goes off..

Ron's mother, sister and his son were here on Wednesday for a visit and his son, Raul, helped him with the window which was good because it was too heavy for me to lift.. now if we could just get some dry days to dry out the exposed slats of wood on the house before we apply the insulation and wrap... and it ain't looking good according to the long range weather forecast.. keep your fingers crossed.

My Tarot Card Deck is Complete...

I've finally gotten them done and to the printers and I'm so proud of how they turned out.. I also did some silky cloth bags to put them in and a hanging tag with the picture of my mystery card that is a feature unique to my deck as far as I know.. There is also a Bio card with a little blurp about me (it's that card in the front).. I got 10 decks printed and they are all sold or spoken for.. The name of the deck is latin and means "first time".. and since this is the first time I've created a deck it suits well..

Damn.. I can't get blogger to upload my pics for me.. I keep getting an error message.. I'll upload them tomorrow if I can..

My Other Hip is Better Now...

Guess I just overdid it on the house rennovations but yesterday when I went to work it had worked itself out and it didn't bother me the rest of the day... The hip with the sciatica is bothering me a bit this morning but I'm hopeing it's just that it's so blasted humid this morning.. at least we're getting a bit of rain to water the lawns.. it seemed like all the moisture was going to be hanging in the air for a while there..

I don't know if I mentioned it or not but Ron discovered a bee's nest under the shingles on the inside corner of the house on the back behind the oil tank.. so we just have a small strip of shingles to remove but we don't know how to get rid of those buzzing menaces.. at least they aren't getting into the house like they were last year.. he's going to go out today in full combat gear with bee keeper mesh clothes on over a couple of layers of clothes and pull the last row of shingles off.. they are tough little buggers and everything we threw at them so far has not eliminated them.. I know bees are good but not in your walls.. shudder.. and you might know it that the last two row of shingles have around eight big nails in them with numerous small nails as well.. I don't know WHAT they thought was going happen that they had to have so many nails in them.. obvious they didn't keep the bees away.. lol..

Figures.. the Chiropractor is on vacation for two weeks...

And my other hip locked up on my last night.. I can hardly walk... grrrrr... hopefully some ice and rest will have me moving again for work next week (make that tomorrow!!)... I hate getting old...

I think that I now know what hell feels like...

I think that I now know what hell feels like... it's been unusually hot and humid!!! And last night was the first night that it stayed hot until early this morning.. I hate heat at night.. (well, heat from the outside.. lol).. It has been too hot and humid to do anything around the house so the outside has remained partly stripped and partly shingles.. :(... Can't wait to get to the applying the new insulation and siding part but especially the new windows part.. We decided to go with an electric hot water heater for the domestic hot water and that, along with the pellet stove, should really decrease our dependance on the oil furnace..

I completed my deck of Tarot cards and it is at the printers as we speak, I went in and got a look at a completed deck yesterday and I'm stoked.. even tho' this first set of 10 decks will leave me in the red because of unexpected costs and buying a shitload of material to make drawstring bags for them.. I'm still excited to see my creation to it's final conclusion.. now if only I was a better sales person I could go out and sell them to some stores.. but I'm such a dweeb at that.. anyone have some sales experience that would be willing to go out and sell, sell, sell?.. *sigh*

My hip is still holding out and if the talk of a retirement package doesn't pan out at least I'm still holding out hope that I'll be able to hang on for the next three years until I'm 60...

Well, on the topic of bad choices... I dyed my hair on Monday... I thought it was a blackish color.. turns out it was burgundy black which looks like grape under certain lights.. and after a week I'm still getting dye stains on my towel when I wash my hair... well we live and learn.. with me, sometimes the hard way.. but I'm getting my hair cut today so I'm going for short and sassy so I'm hoping this old bird can pull it off.. if I don't have my glasses on I look really pale but once I put on my metallic red glasses then it brings the color back into my cheeks.. so what I think is.. it's only hair.. it will grow back into my natural color.. and I always can redye it.. lol... I never learn do I?... phhhtttt...

There was a hold up with the renovations

We thought that we would be farther along in the renovations than we are because we both ended up with strep throat and had to go on antibiotics.. groan.. but we're all better now and I'm off this week and can help with removing the shingles on the back and end of the house... we're going to be careful to wear some kind of a mask when removing the shingles and whatever's below it because of the dead flies and all kinds of yucky stuff that's under the old shingles.. ewwww.. I think that may have contributed to us feeling so miserable.. I can't wait to get going on everything but I don't like the look of the weather forecast.. it says rain until Thursday.. figures... I'm off this week.. grrrr.. but the weather here changes from hour to hour so we may be able to get a lot done anyway.

More pictures of the renovations

I have lots of pictures of the renovations in it's various stages..

Here we see Ron slaving away removing the shingles to discover a black, feltlike material below.. so the air leaks were not coming from the area of the shingles..


Another picture of Ron working away (don't you just love to see a man all sweaty?.. lol


This is a view of the front of the house and that's what the whole house will look like once it's done, all nice and green and neat with new windows and everything..


This is what we discovered once we took the black felt stuff off.. white clapboard siding.. so the walls themselves were really tight so the air leak must have been coming from the windows themselves.. there will be a world of difference once we get the new windows installed. I can't wait.


This is our pile of insulating foamboard and other stuff for our renovations.. I'm nervous about having it laying around the yard like that because it's really expensive stuff and I would hate for it to get stolen...!!!!

I'm excited about life again.

I'm so excited. My pain is leaving at a fast rate and I managed to work the whole week last week (I have this week off for holidays, nice to be off and feeling well). Who would have thought that after only two sessions that I would improve to the extent that I have. I may have to go to him on a regular basis from this point forward but if it keeps the pain away then I'm all for it. Yesterday we went to pick up some things in Charlottetown and we were walking around for quite a while and while we were walking I was pain free. Now once I sat back down into the car is when the pain started but it bothered me just for a few moments when I first sat down. I still have a bit of pain in the morning when I first get up but if it's bad I just put some ice on it off and on for 20 minutes or so and then I'm fine. If the pain isn't too bad I just walk around for a while and it works itself out.

It feels so good to have a positive outlook again.

There is hope for the future now...

Just a quick update on how I'm doing.. after only two sessions with the chiropractor I have improved immensely.. I wish that I had gone to him first instead of to physiotherapy.. we live and learn..

He was able to get my xrays of my lower back and he said that I have some bone wear and tear in my lower back where it attaches to the hip bone area especially on the right side probably caused by a degenerative bone condition.. they still don't have the second set of xrays back yet and it's been over two months.. sigh... He explained the xrays to me and showed me on a model of the spine what the problem is and took the time to explain it in a way that I could understand...

Now that he has straightened my spine out I can walk for longer distances without pain and he wants me gradually to increase the movement in that area so that I can build some strength back into the right leg.. I'm not as depressed about the whole thing and I'm hopeful that I don't have to go on long term disability and that I'll be able to work for the next three years until I'm 60 (in fact that will be exactly three years from today which is my birthday!!).

OUR RENOVATIONS

Ron has been working like a demon trying to get the renovations done on our house and now he's got my strep throat so he'll have to slow down a bit. These are some before pictures.

First my ills and then some renovation news.

For a cherry on top of the ills I've been having I discovered on Friday that I have Strep Throat... throat was scratchy on Thursday and I had a headache and was feeling a bit nauseous. By Friday my throat was red raw and I could only talk in a croak so off to the walk-in clinic to get mega doses of antibiotics (making sure there were no sulfa derivatives) and in no time my throat was feeling much better but my nether regions are a rumbling mess because of the side effects of the drugs (may cause diarrhea.. no kidding!!). Oh.. and to make it perfect, Ron just got it as well.

Everything is up in the air as far as finding out about my hip is concerned, the xrays that were taken about two months ago still haven't been read and my appointment with the specialist isn't until December so I'm really at a loss what to do. My sick time is running out so if I go on long term disability I have to wait 119 days for it to kick in and use up my sick time first. If I don't have enough sick time to carry me the 119 days (which I don't) then I will have to go on sick unemployment which is only 55% of my wages in the interm (LTD is 70%).. We're in the process of doing some MAJOR rennovations on our house to make it more energy efficient so I'm feeling a little desperate here on what to do.

People have been giving me all kinds of advice and the main suggestions have been a chiropractor and/or acupuncture. Not knowing what the problem is exactly, I'm cautious about trying something so drastic but I'm running out of options. Now enough about the complaining already.. I have pictures of the start of our renovations to follow.

More complaining.. then some good news!!

First off the complaining.. I've been so down with the constant pain in the ass.. literally .. of the sciatic problems that today when I went to the doctor to get a note for work I ended up in tears. The poor doctor didn't know what to do... my hip xrays still haven't come back and it's been a month. I started physio again and I really don't find too much of a change since I started back but they were talking about trying acupuncture on me next time. One thing: I DO have an appointment with the specialist.. but not until DECEMBER!!! (One side effect is that the time doesn't fly by as quickly now even tho' I'm getting so much older by the day.. lol).. reminds me it's birthday time next month.. the big 57.. how many years till retirement?...

Anyway, back on track again with my thoughts... the doctor gave me three perscriptions today.. one for pure codeine.. one for a stool softener to counteract the binding problem with codeine.. and an anti-biotic for a urinary tract infection.. that one I was leery about taking because of my recent bout of Steven-Johnson's syndrome.. but she assured me that this would not have the same results.. we'll just have to see about that.. hmmmm.. *keeps fingers crossed while we wait on that one*.

I'm off work until I get back to see her next week.. I took one of the codeine tablets and I'm feeling a little woozy so forgive the typos.. and the rambling thoughts.

Now what was the good news again?... Oh yeah, even though I'm not even finished designing my Tarot deck and I don't know how much I'm going to be able to sell them for I've already got about 10 decks sold and most of them are going to Australia and in England a friend of mine is going to approach 4 different shops to take a deck on consignment just to see if they will sell. I have to get my butt in gear (now that hopefully there will be less pain) and got a cd over to the printer with a couple of card designs on and a backing for them to print off some cards for me. Then I can get an idea of what the finished product will look like.. I have to tell them the size and quantity before they can work out a quote. Hopefully they won't be way out of whack with the price because I want to make at least some profit.. And I even have some ideas on more decks.

Well I really should go lie down before I fall down.. will keep you up to date on stuff later if anyone is interested.