I have something of my mother's

I discovered something else about myself as I was looking at that picture of myself.. beside the fact that it's not the most flattering picture of me.. was that I have my mother's hands.. when did that happen?.. I have my mother's hands, my sister's voice and her face as well, my father's talent for painting.. what the hell is mine?.. or do I really want to know..

We tend to measure ourselves by other people's measuring sticks.. and in our own minds we never quite stack up.. why is that?

Self Discovery

As you can see I've updated my weight chart and to this point I've lost 21 pounds (that may be a thing of the past when I get weighted in tomorrow.. I ate sooo much on the weekend at the family get together.. groan.. )..

I've lost 5 pounds in the last two weeks alone.. I think that I've finally clicked into the fact that this is a lifelong thing. Not something to do until I lose X number of pounds but something that's from now on.. and know what.. I'm ok with that. I find I'm looking at the bigger picture now (excuse the pun) and even if I gain a bit I know that I can take it off and more.. I've been lucky that my gains have been small when I've been "bad" as far as eating like I used to.

I also think that my body is getting used to this lower weight and when I overeat it isn't as quick to gain the weight back.. and as I also discovered.. my stomach has shrunk so that when I overeat like I did on Sunday I suffer the consequences for at least a day afterwards.. seriously, it wasn't a pretty picture... and at least on my scales.. I've put on a good 2 pounds to top it off.. but I'm not letting that put me off track.. I know now that I can do it so there's no excuses.. lol..

I started Weigh Watchers on May 07/2007. My starting weight was 193.4 pounds and since I'm only 5 ft 2 inches tall the most I should weigh is 137 according to the WW chart. So I had 56.4 pounds to lose. I started on the point system and now I'm on the core plan.

week 1 193.4
week 2 193.4 - 189 = 4.4 lbs LOST*
week 3 189 - 186.6 = 2.4 lbs LOST*
week 4 missed this meeting
week 5 186.6 -186.8 = +.2 lbs gained
week 6 186.8 - 183.6 = 3.2 lbs LOST*
week 7 183.6 - 181.6 = 2 lbs LOST*
week 8 181.6 - 182.4 =+.8 lbs gained
week 9 182.4 - 181.8 = .6 lbs LOST*
week 10 181.8 - 179.8 = 2 lbs LOST*
week 11 179.8 - 182= +2.2 lbs gained
week 12 182 - 179.8 = 2.2 lb. LOST*
week 13 179.8 - 179.2 = .6 lb LOST*
week 14 179.2 - 180.4 = +1.2 lbs gained
week 15 180.4 - 180.2 = .2 lb LOST*
week 16 180.2 - 178.6 = 1.6 lbs LOST*
week 17 178.6 - 178.8 = +.2 lbs gained
week 18 178.8 - 179.8 = +1 lb gained
week 19 179.8 -180.4 = +.6 lb gained
week 20 180.4 - 178.8 = 1.6 lbs LOST*
week 21 178.8 - 178.6 = .2 lb LOST*
week 22 178.6 - 177.8 = .8 lb LOST*
week 23 177.8 - 177.6 = .2 lb LOST*
week 24 177.6 - 176.8 = .8 lb LOST*
week 25 176.8 - 176.8 = same
week 26 176.8 - 177.2 = +.4 lb gained
week 27 177.2 - 177.4 = +.2 lbs gained
week 28 177.4 - 175 = 2.4 lbs LOST!!*
week 29 175 - 172.4 = 2.6 lbs LOST!! (5 LBS IN TWO WEEKS)


to date a total of 21 lbs lost..
56.4 to lose at start - 21 = 35.4 lbs to go..

I was informed I'm going to hell

My niece, when informed of my plans to make my own Tarot deck, told me that, of course, I was going to hell. I have a couple of sisters who have found God, God lovem' (well, according to them He indeed does). And all sorts of bad habits or lifestyles I practice are to be my damnation. But my way of thinking is that if they think that their God will forgive them for their past indiscretions, then my present indiscretions will eventually be in my past so that all I have to do is play the waiting game and all will be forgiven.. that's my plan at least.

Have been designing my own Tarot cards.. See below.

I've been designing my own Tarot cards in the last little while but I think that I need to get away from the computer for a while because I'm finding it hard on my eyes lately. But I also would like to be more creative with my hands instead of with my mind and since my eyesight is getting too poor for counted cross stitching ever again I would suspect, I thought that rock painting would be in order.. I'll attach some of the Tarot cards here, so far I've created 8 out of a deck of 72 so I have a ways to go.

Who is that dweeb?

I left my partner, R. a voice message the other day and as I was listening to it to see if we had any other messages I realised that my voice sounds different coming from a place outside my head.. and let me tell you, it's not a nice melodic sound like I imagined, but a nasally, whiny, sounds-just-like-my-sister voice.. *shudder*.. when I pointed out to R. that I sounded like my sister L. he said "Yeah, I know" because, I guess, if my voice was coming at him from out of my head and not into my head, he could tell the difference... I further thought "and you're still with me?".. another mystery...

I remember when my, now 13 year old, granddaughter was a baby I videotaped myself laying on the floor and talking to her in babytalk.. I repeated Brrrrrittany, over and over again until I wanted to rip my own tongue out by it's roots.. I think I might have scarred the poor thing for life... I can't stand to look at that video to this day..

Now every time that I talk, especially on the phone, I can hear my own voice.. very distracting and disconcerting to say the least, and sometimes I'm so engrossed in listening to myself talk *and not in the usual good way*, I lose track of what I was saying.

week 1 193.4
week 2 193.4 - 189 = 4.4 lost
week 3 189 - 186.6 = 2.4 lost
week 4 missed this meeting
week 5 186.6 -186.8 = .2 gained
week 6 186.8 - 183.6 = 3.2 lost
week 7 183.6 - 181.6 = 2 lost
week 8 181.6 - 182.4 = .8 gained
week 9 182.4 - 181.8 = .6 lost
week 10 181.8 - 179.8 = 2 lost
week 11 179.8 - 182 = 2.2 gained
week 12 182 - 179.8 = 2.2 lost

Are you noticing the same pattern I am???.. hmmm .. interesting..

My weight loss journey... continued...

I started Weigh Watchers on May 07/2007. My starting weight was 193.4 pounds and since I'm only 5 ft 2 inches tall the most I should weigh is 137 according to the WW chart. So I had 56.4 pounds to lose. I started on the point system and now I'm on the core plan.

week 1 193.4
week 2 193.4 - 189 = 4.4 pounds lost
week 3 189 - 186.6 = 2.4 pounds lost
week 4 missed this meeting
week 5 186.6 -186.8 = .2 pounds gained
week 6 186.8 - 183.6 = 3.2 pounds lost
week 7 183.6 - 181.6 = 2 pounds lost
week 8 181.6 - 182.4 = .8 pounds gained
week 9 182.4 - 181.8 = .6 pounds lost
week 10 181.8 - 179.8 = 2 pounds lost
* yeah I broke the 180 mark!!!*
so as of today I've lost a total of 13.6 pounds which is an average of 1.4 pounds a week.

I've done so well that I've been able to discontinue one of my diabetic medications (with my doctor's blessings of course) and my goal is to discontinue my other.

My way of thnking is that this is going to be a new way of living.. not just a diet and this is a new way of thinking for me.

I'm determined to reward myself for each 5 pounds with a smaill reward and a larger one for each 10 pounds.
When I lost my first 10 pounds I got a haircut.

I'll use this medium to keep myself honest.

Weight Watcher is going well..

I've lost 11.6 so far and I go for a weigh in tonight so I'm hoping that it will be more.. on my own scales I've lost but you never know with those cheap scales if they're accurate or not.

My way of looking at it now is that I'm in this for life, literally.. I've been able to come off of one of my medications for diabetes (with my doctor's blessings of course) and she said I should work towards being strictly diet controlled which is entirely possible if I take off the weight. My arthritis will be more relieved if I take off more weight.. I tend to carry my weight around my wasteline so if I can reduce that it will help me to not be off balance because of the weight on the front (now if I could only get the lower belly weight to move around to the nonexistant butt I'd be happy).

We should hear very soon about our reclass and if it went through.. it's been about a year of work on this and I think they're going to offer us something but what is the question. It's rediculous but I've been thinking a lot about retiring lately and I can't wait for it to happen.. It's going to be torture for the next 5-6 years if I don't stop!!! Maybe I just need a vacation.. another six weeks to go.

My garden is doing great and will post some pictures later. I bought a stargazer lily last week and I can't wait for it to bloom.. well gotta run and get ready for work and weigh in tonight.. wish me luck on both counts.

I'm almost to my 10 pound loss!!!

Just .2 of a pound to go, I've lost 9.8 pounds and once I reach the magical 10 pound mark I'm going to celebrate by getting myself a short, sassy haircut. So hopefully it will be next week because frankly my hair is driving me nuts and I feel like cutting it myself but R (bless his heart) gently told me the last time I butchered my hair that it probably would be better to invest the money into going to hairdresser. Who am I to argue?

My Weight Watcher Journey.. pt 2

I decided to go on the core plan on ww.. in it you eat whole foods like fresh fruit and vegetables, whole wheat pasta, lean meats etc.. You don't count points but you restrict yourself to the core foods and eat only until you are satisfied so you learn to listen to your body and know when you're full...

I'm really enjoying it and since I gained a little, .2 of a pound last week I decided that the points system is not really what I want to do. I'm excited about it because I think that I may have reached to 10 pound mark and to treat myself if I did do it I'm going to invest in a haircut. And plan to buy myself something at each 10 pound mark..

You're Never Too Old To Be Surprised.

These pictures in no way do the scene any justice.

I drive on the same road every day to go to work. I had thought that I had seen everything that there was to see. Although the scenery is beautful in every season here in Prince Edward Island you come to take it for granted. But last week I happened to glance to my right and lo and behold I saw a wonderul, colourful sight before my eyes. A whole field planted with tulips. As a backdrop to a newly plowed Island field in it's red clayed glory, the tulips took on a glow and I imagined I could smell their perfume on the gentle breeze. Now my drive finds me alert to new sights and that makes my mornings more alive.

Ahhh the smell of eww'da Skunk in the morning

Why is it that I tend to awaken in the morning to the odor of skunk? Is it past carma coming back to extract its revenge? And since my cat tends to spend her nights out of doors I'm always a little afraid to let her back into the house since she tends to repeat her bad habit of "playing" with the skunks, perhaps in an effort to make friends? Also, she tends to sleep on my pillow (the cat, not the skunk, although sometimes it's hard to tell but this morning she just smelled like cat). And this morning the humidity lent to the pungent intensity outdoors. Living in the country ain't all it's cracked up to be.

Nature tends to interrupt my sleep lately, from roving skunks to marauding raccoons that are impervious to methods of discouragement like bright lights and loud noise. Sunday night I awoke to loud, weird noise, much like the sound in the city of teenagers driving around with their car radios blaring in the middle of the night. Turns out this was a raccoon giving my cat a piece of it's teeny tiny mind and my cat standing her ground, stupid but brave. I turned on all manner of lights thinking niavely that it would send the raccoon running but no, it stood in my driveway defiant and didn't leave until I yelled at it for a few moments.

Well off to work I go hie ho.

More childhood memories

OUR FAMILY HOME

I was born in 1951 so when I was a child we didn't have inside plumbing or electicity. I remember doing my homework by lamp light (which I contribute to causing my eyesight to be bad), we never played in the house no matter what the season. In the summer we played outside using pieces of broken pottery as dishes, our yard didn't have a lawn, just packed dirt so we would make outlines in the dirt to represent the rooms of our dream house and would play there for hours at a time, we used our imagination to create all kinds of wonderful realities.

I come from of family of 14 children so we never had a shortage of playmates, either my siblings or our friends. We didn't have much but neither did our friends so we thought we were rich.
In the winter we would skate, toboggan and sleigh down the hills near our home, make forts in the snow and snow people. In the winter was the only time we would have jello or great homemade frozen fudgesickles made from coco drink set outside in the snowbank and frozen. We had no electicity and our fridge that we used in the summer had a big block of ice that we bought from the ice truck that made the rounds.

I remember always having a garden to grow our own fresh vegetables and we got baby chicks at Easter that made it onto our table for Thanksgiving but we accepted that as part of life. I remember gathering eggs from our laying hens and taking them, still warm, into our mother to cook for breakfast. We didn't live in the country but our town was pretty small back then and we knew all our neighbours.

There was a pickling plant near our home and we would go there and collect the rejected cucumbers that our mother would make into our own pickles and so I guess we did our own recycling.. lol. My mother always made her own bread, biscuits, and deserts. We didn't have a lot but we were never hungry.

We lived in a small house that is no longer standing (there's a Sobey's built on the land where we used to live. Imaging all us kids in this small little house. It only had three bedrooms, one for our parents, one for the girls and one for the boys. Although there would have never have been 14 kids in the house at one time, I think at the most there would have probably have been 9 or so. Our mother would get up early in the morning and get the wood/coal stove going so that the kitchen would be warm for the crew to get up from their warm beds. I remember as a child, on a cold winter night, our mother warming bricks to place at the foot or our beds, under the blankets, to keep our feet warm.

I also remember that at Christmas we would each get only one toy and we would be so excited to receive an orange or a Red Delicious apple in our sticking with a few hard candies and though we were in heaven. So how was your childhood?

This is the most amazing dog I have ever seen. You cannot believe that this dog would even be alive let alone walk..

Summer memories...

Summer to me meant playing Red Rover, marbles in the dirt, hop scotch, picnics on the beach (my older sister cooked a hamburger soup with sea water that was to die for.. I think the salt air sharpened our appetites.. you wouldn't dare use sea water to cook nowadays would you?), hide and seek, standing under a tree in a lightening storm (what were we thinking?), the stange light after a freak storm, making mud pies with flower for decorations (yummy), the smell of clothes dried in the sun, swimming in the warm Atlantic waters until our fingers were all wrinkly and then dripping water on our protesting parents as they lay in the sun on a blanket... ahhh summer.

Wow.. time sure flies when you're living your life...

The last time I checked in with you I was waiting for the call from the hospital about the catscan.. well they called and I went in and fortunately the stones have passed although it took a few days for the infection to go because of the grinding and scraping of the stones on the way out.. I know ... owwwy... and it was quite painful. But all better now..

I have started walking with my sister L. once again.. I'm on the quest for weight loss.. joined Weight Watchers.. have a bunch of weight to lose and I need to be going to the meetings in order to keep myself honest (with myself most of all). I lost 4.4 lbs the first week and 2.4 pounds that second week for a total of 6.8 pounds in two weeks. I'm suspecting that I won't have lost any weight this week for some reason. Well, I know what the reason is, I haven't been keeping track of my points on paper, just in my head, and you know how that can get.... Oh well, we'll see how much, if any, I've lost on Wednesday when I go to the meeting and if I lost, great.. if I didn't I'll get strict with keeping a points book.. otherwise I'll just keep going as I am.. I should try the core plan where you can only eat certain foods but you don't have to keep track of points. I'll keep you informed of how I do.

I've been trying to get my heart shaped garden all weeded out.. why is it that grass can grow so well in my garden but not so well on the lawn where you want it to grow?.. although this year the lawn is doing better as well... As you can see by the photos above, I've been working up the edge of the garden so that the rocks show around the edges. The rocks were buried under grass and so you couldn't tell where the edge of the garden was and the lawn began. I'm a bit stiff from working on the garden and my wrists are a bit sore from using the garden weasle.. but I now have it 2/3 of the way done and it's coming along really well... will post photos once it's all done...

Waiting for the call...

I'm waiting for the call from the hospital... I'm hoping that the stone/s have passed through and that I'm on the mend.. I know they caused some irritation in my kidney because of the pain and the fact that I'm on antibiotics... and when you're diabetic one of the worse things you can hear is that there's a problem with your kidneys... so for a few days I was running blind with fear... that on top of the pain... but the pain is easing so that I don't have to constantly be on the tylenol and have been able to go for longer periods awake which is good.. so I guess I'm on the mend... here's crossing my fingers that the stones passed when I was sleeping... and zonked out on pain killers...

Oh.. by the way.. I'm still on Weight Watchers...

Even through the pain I'm still doing well... in fact I'm feeling ill and don't feel like eating too much any way... it's an ill wind that doesn't blow some good your way... lol..

Not sore from being out of shape....

Well, on Friday I went to work still feeling sore.. I had been thinking it was a pulled muscle but it really didn't feel like one (I've had pulled muscles before so I can recognise them).. for one thing it didn't hurt to move in different directions but it hurt like hell if I took a deep breath... well as I said I went to work but around noon time I was so sore, sick and with such a headache that I decided I had better call my doctor to see if she could squeese me in.. well, I discovered my doctor doesn't work on Fridays and the walk in clinics were closed but I was feeling so rotten that I had to do something and that something was to face the probable all day wait at the emergency room at the hospital..

The pain was in the right side about mid way down... and since I'm a diabetic and had a brother how lost his kidneys to a disease that could be genetic I decided that it was worth the wait.. all in all it took about 5 hours and the doctor sent me for xrays and took a urine sample... turns out I have kidney stone... and DAMN they hurt.. the doctor said I also have a low grade fever probably caused by infection starting in my kidney from the stones... the xrays weren't 100% positive so he said the hospital will contact me in a couple of days to come in for a scan to determine exactly what I have... well I can tell you it's stones... owwwwyyyy...

But worse than the pain from the stones (I shouldn't say worse because that pain is horrendous) is how sick I get from taking Tylenol3 with codine and antibiotics... this is one sore, sick puppy.. do you all feel sorry for me now?