Out of My Mind

Out of My Mind

Thursday, February 26, 2009

We made the hardest decision of my life yesterday.

We decided that it would be best all around to have Missy put down. Our vet agreed with us because of Missy's unusual sensitivity in her skin even on the scruff of her neck which is usually not sensitive at all and the fact that the insulin shots and the resulting strain on us and Missy was not good for any of us. We took her in and had a long talk with the vet explaining her reactions to getting the needle (he had first hand knowledge of her sensitivity) then told him that to have her put down would be the most humane thing to do and he agreed saying that she wouldn't understand why someone who has been so good to her would be putting her through so much pain every day. She was becoming cross and starting to nip at us if we put our hands near her neck. We were unable to give her the shot the day before because of her violent reaction to getting the needle and the resulting bending of the needle tip when we tried to get it into her. We said our goodbyes and both of us broke down and I'm still in mourning for our sweet little girl. Even though we knew it was for the best it's still tearing my heart out. It will be a long time before we ever get another dog, if ever. Thank goodness we have our cat Penny to help ease the pain somewhat although she's getting old too (she's 10 years old and an outside cat).

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Giving Missy her shots has become a major stress all around

We are at the end of our ropes with giving Missy her shots. She has refused to allow us to do it and today the needle got bent because she struggles so violently when we try to give her the shots. Her skin is abnormally tender, her skin is very taught causing it to be difficult to pinch the skin to raise it up for the shot and the vet has said that he has never had a dog mind having a shot in the scruff of it's neck like Missy minds having one in hers. She even yelps when you pinch the skin gently in between your fingers. If it was just giving her the shots and she tolerated it there would be no problem but we are stressing all the way around now and we have to make a difficult decision tomorrow about whether we are prepared to continue on with it or let her go. She can't not have her insulin and I don't know if the stress we are putting her though and us through means that she will have any quality of life.

My back/hip has increased in pain because of the stress and I'm ending up having to take more Demerol as a result and I think I might be developing an ulcer. If we do decide to put her down it will devastate us both but if we don't what kind of a life is that for us as well. It may seem like we are selfish but I don't see it that way.. we gave it a good go at trying to do this for her sake. It just didn't work out.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Just a little addition to the previous post

Just a little addition to the previous post.. I know before if I ever heard of anyone who had an animal the was diabetic I thought (I'd never give an animal insulin shots.. I'd put the animal down first).... ahhhh the old "NEVER"... famous last words... lol

Our Missy has diabetes

Missy has been feeling unwell now for a couple of weeks and has been throwing up.. so yesterday we took her to the vet and had blood tests run. The vet thought it was diabetes with the possibility of Cushings Disease because of some of the symptoms.. Poor Missy had to have a muzzle put on her so that she wouldn't bit the nurse of doctor when they took a vial of blood out of her little skinny leg.. she looked like she was going to smother because she couldn't get her mouth open to pant and dogs don't do well with breathing through their noses.. When I got home yesterday I was beside myself with being upset.. the tests for the Cushings are very expensive (200 to 300 dollars just for the tests) and since I'm laid off on sick unemployment we were thinking that we would have to have her put down if it came to having to have multiple, expensive tests done on her..

This morning..

We had her to the vet this morning to have her first insulin shot and to have an antibiotic because she had a fever yesterday and from talking with the vet for an hour (and this is a Sunday to boot.. he had to go in and tend to the animals in the clinic so got us to go in and he charged us the regular visit fee) and I'm feeling a lot better about it... the threat of Cushings Disease is not looming over us as much.. he seemed to think that her diabetes is the main problem.. poor little Missy was just vibrating with fear when we took her in because of yesterday's experience.. but she took the needles well and now we have her home.. we have to give her a shot once a day because it's the slow release kind and he started her on a low dose for a few days to see how she tolerates it.. her blood sugars were more than double what they should be so she is definitely a diabetic... he said her liver is effected but hopes it will start functioning better once the insulin takes effect.

So hopefully she will return to a more normal life once everything levels out.. I guess at first Ron will have to give her her insulin shots but I will have to get over my fear of needles so that I can giver her her shot if he's not around.

My back is just killing me this morning and I had to take a Demerol when we got home because of the pain.. stress will tend to make my back worse and this morning and yesterday were BIG stress inducers..

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Turn Around is Fair Play

Our cat Penny has a new way to torture our dog Missy. Missy is getting old and has a hard time maneuvering the stairs and takes a few moments to get started so usually I go upstairs first and know that she will be along in a few seconds.. but lately she's been standing at the bottom of the stairs and whining and when we go and look, here's Penny laying fully across the third or fourth step so that Missy can't get past her.. she gets really pissed off when we tell her to move too.. I have to say here that Missy has been chasing Penny since we got her almost so I guess this is Penny's way of getting to the top of the pecking order (literally).

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

More on the home front

First off, my doctor put me off of work for another two months until I get back to see the specialist. So I've had to apply for sick unemployment to carry my through until then. That must have been the hardest decision that I've had to make in my life. I was so stressed out about it that I got two huge cold sores on my mouth. Not a pretty sight but at least I'm not out and about much for people to see it.. lol. I had used up all of my sick time at work so if I took any more time off I would have to do it without pay and every morning now I wake up in pain and need to take Demerol so I can't function taking that. So here I sit..

My items are selling well at Renderosity, especially my wolves and my mind is bursting with other possible things to sell. I really love the whole concept and hope that I can come up with stuff that people will want to buy.

I went in for what I thought was an MRI on Monday but it turns out it was a bone scan instead. The machine that took the scan was all open on the sides so no fear of becoming claustrophobic the actual MRI on my lumbar spine on March the 3rd with an appointment with the specialist on the 16th to get my results. So my options are, go on long term disability, get fixed up or retire..