Out of My Mind

Out of My Mind

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I decided today to get back to painting rocks..

I've been off work now for around 6 months and I've been drifting around, not doing much of anything, just being a lump on a log as they say.  I decided to dig out my paints and rocks and get at painting again.  My first piece is a raccoon.   He's a rather simple piece to start and I hope to improve over time.  I've been stopping and starting things at an alarming rate.  I had started this raccoon months ago but have left it sitting there with just the outline done.  Before that I had started a large painting of a horse which is still sitting there partly completed.  Also I started some counted cross stitching.. gawd, I'm so scattered I can't stand myself at times.  At least I can keep changing up my crafts and won't worry about not having something to do.  That's the curse of knowing how to do too many things.  I can't seem to stick to one thing to the end.  

Monday, May 14, 2012

Walk down memory lane..

On FaceBook I had a picture of my mother as my icon and it got me to thinking how we complain and bitch about how hard we have it when our lives aren't nearly as hard as trying to raise 13 kids in an age where there was no electricity until I was around 6 years old and I'm one of the younger ones.  My youngest sister wasn't born yet when this picture was taken.


My parents and siblings.. I'm the squished little girl in the middle.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

I thought I knew myself...

I was at the doctor's office on Monday and the news isn't as bad as I had expected.  Although my blood pressure is up, my blood sugars are up [although still in the normal range but high normal] and my weight is up the doctor told me it's not too late if I apply myself.  I don't understand what's motivating me to sabotage my health at every turn??  I know what to do, I have the medications to do it and a year ago I had my life in control, the weight was coming off and my health was the best it had been in years.  Now, I'm in a pit I can't get out of it seems.  I put back almost 20 of the 40 or so pounds that I had taken off.  I have been sneaking junk food at every opportunity.  It's like a slow suicide and I  don't know how to snap out of it.  I'm in a constant state of indigestion because the medication I'm on to slow down my appetite is doing it's job but I'm  not listening to my body.  I eat junk food and I get extreme indigestion, then I snack on Tums at every turn instead of restricting what I eat and how much.  It's not rocket science.

Three months ago I was at the doctor for my check-up and was told I was doing so great but in my mind that was not how I was doing.  I had started down the slippery slope around Christmas time.  I was eating sweets multiple times a day.  I was depending on the medication to take care of my mistakes and apparently it was.  So I can actually remember thinking to myself that no matter how bad I treat my body, the medication will right the wrongs.  If that isn't a form of insanity I don't know what is.

So I thought that all the years of counselling, both private and group, and the introspection, picking apart my brain to see what makes me tick would yield some insight to my inner workings but it appears I'm as much a mystery now as I always had been.

I apologize to all of you that might have come to my blog looking to be entertained... hopefully I'll snap out of this funk soon and I can get back to being my positive, wise cracking self.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Mmmm I love the smell of cooked lawn in the afternoon


Since we can't use chemicals on our lawns I decided to use a two fold method to kill some weeds on our lawn. There is a weed that has a small purple flower on it that is in just one patch on our lawn but is slowly creeping out to infest the rest of the lawn.

A neighbour suggested using vinegar on it [her lawn is infested so I suspect that she hasn't been following her own advice].  But this morning I thought, what the heck, and proceeded to spray the weeds with the vinegar.  Being the impatient person I am I struck on the idea of using our steam zapper machine to literally cook the weeds so I spent the afternoon steaming the lawn.. the neighbours were looking at me kind of strange but it seems to have done the trick.  Since it's supposed to rain for the next few days I won't be able to get back to do some more until the weekend.