Out of My Mind

Out of My Mind

Friday, June 30, 2006

My head is screwed back on tightly now...

and there's no fear of it spinning wildly in all directions shooting bolts of lightning around the room.. But alas the "we'll give you all the time you need" speech was very short lived.. today the Manager kept coming in every half hour or so asking me when I'd be done... the place was jammed with customers (over 420 for the day) and I could understand her being anxious for me to come back out.. but come on... she had to know that the more she did that the more tense it was making me... but the day's over and the long weekend is upon us... thank God!!

To add to the stress I had an appointment with the specialist yesterday (I've been bleeding from my bowel since the middle of February, not every day but on and off maybe once a week or so... and now I have to go in to get another scope (I had one done about two years ago and found it an unpleasant experience but not unbearable) and this time he wants to do a different scope, this time down my throat as well to see if I may have some stomach problems. So I'll be probed from both ends.. I know, the visuals leave something to be desired... I told R that I hope they don't use the same scope for both procedures, especially if they do the bowel one first... I know, more visuals... sorry... Since there's a history of bowel cancer (my mom) and other cancers in my family he doesn't want to wait and will push to have me in for it before the end of the summer... Wish me luck..

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Well it finally happened.. the dams broke today and my nerves got the better of me.. my boss was telling me that the job in the cash office was taking too long and that it wasn't acceptable to have to take the whole morning to do the cash... and wanted to know what needed to be done to make things faster... she kept saying it "wasn't acceptable that we were taking so long"... well this person, who's normally the rock and takes things in stride, finally broke.. and I started to cry and couldn't stop.. in fact I had to come home to settle down..

My manager kept apologising and saying that I was doing an excellent job and they didn't know what they would do without me.. and she said the reason that the time wasn't acceptable was because the new system was supposed to make the job quicker and in fact it's taking twice as long.. and she agreed to let us have as much time as I needed to get the job done.. (I know I ended up making her feel like shit but I couldn't help it)

I'm still very emotional because I felt at the time that she was telling me that I wasn't doing my job and in fact that I was slacking off.. which couldn't be further from the truth.. most mornings when I'm in the cash office I don't even get away for a break .. She said it was good in a way that I broke down because it gives her more of an idea what we're going through where as before she thought we had it all under control because I was always so calm.. She begged me to come in tomorrow even if it was for the morning because the other cashier is off then and the next week.. So I'll give it a try but I hope I feel better because quite a while ago (about 10 years or so).. I had to take 2 and 1/2 months off because of stress and I really don't want to deal with that shit again... Kat

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Slow this sucker down and let me off...

Today was an official day from hell...

Our "new and improved" computer program hasn't worked correctly since day one.. and working in the cash office this week has been an experience in detective work trying to search on a multitude of platforms to find a $20.00 overage amongst over $600,000.00 in revenue (and that was yesterdays not to mention Fridays that we are still trying to balance before we can close the site cash for that particular day)... can you say frustrating?.. and to top it off our manager was coming in on a regular basis asking when I would be done so that I could come out on the counter... no pressure mind you... I came this close to saying "You think this shit is easy.. well you do it biatch" and sucker punching her to shut her up.. being in management she doesn't grasp the concept that adding pressure in an already frustrating and pressure cooker stress environment is maybe not a good idea... ya' think?...

And we won't even mention the fact that the bosses pet was sitting around chatting with everyone that would listen about her kids' field trips and bitching about her ex... like stop everything and listen people.. the almighty have spoken... (no bitterness here.. nooooo)...

And how was your day?...

Yesterday I printed off all the services that we provide for other departments and 190 some services is a big pile'o paper... we're trying to have our job reclassified and will attempt to make it a seperate catagory so the union guy wants us to have all our services in detail .. by the end of the month.. ummmm I think that's a little soon.... it may take at least a month... or more...

My boy has gone back out west for the summer to work.. managed to see him for a few hours the day before he left.. he'll be back here one the east coast in the fall..

Mmmmm RK just made me a smoothy with frozen fruit and juice... hits the spot on a hot day.. and may even cure my bitchiness... gotta love him.

Monday, June 19, 2006

We're into summer like weather already...

Although I enjoy the spring and the winter leaves me cold (literally) and fall is wonderful here on the east coast, summer, strangely, is not my favorite time of year.... the heat and humidity leave me drained and cranky... I have long since given up my morning walks and it has set off a vicious circle.. I'm too tired to walk and by not walking it makes me tired... so you see the pattern... but I can't get the ambition to haul this sorry butt out of the house any earlier than 7:15 in the AM... and I would have to leave at least an hour earlier to be able to get the walking in... procrastination is a sin... and I'll be damned to hell... in the early spring I could do it but it was only every third week so I could get myself moving then but now that we're on the 8AM shift every day for the summer I really can't get myself motivated... I know whine whine whine..



Friday, June 16, 2006

We're gonna have the heat finally..

This weekend is gonna be hot and humid, love the heat, the humid I could do without.. but at least the rain stopped for a while. And all creepy crawly crab spiders called Freddy aside (David I decided to name it Frederick, Freddy for short, sort of suits him/her.. phhtt), I think it's gonna be a garden day tomorrow.

I've gotten back to my painting and have the base of a welcome rock done.. I'll be glad to get them done and out of the way.. I'm hoping that they don't want any more done because I want to get the horse portrait finished.. I'm such a procrastinator because if I really wanted to I could be doing the protrait and the pencil sketches I was planning on doing even without the rocks finished but in my block of a head I feel that I have to do the commissions first before I attempt the other stuff I have to do (which I started right after Christmas..).. now where is the logic in that and how productive is that?... not... can you say AVOIDANCE?... I'm such a dweeb when it comes to these things.. I have no amount of order in my life and no consistancy at least not in my home life (where it really counts after all because my life is where I live and work is where I ... well, work)...

I have completely given up going for walks with my sister because it would mean leaving at 6 fuckin' 30 in the morning to be in town for 7 ish to get at least 45 minutes of walking in before I have to go to work.. so that means getting up earlier than the 5 am that I get up now in order to get my bath, breakfast, grooming and making my lunch all jammed in not to mention having at least one cup of coffee to get my eyes open... I was doing it earlier in the spring but at least it was only for every third week but now it would be every week day.. and I'm sorry but I could be sleeping for that extra half hour to forty five minutes so my growing gut be damned.. I need some energy in the evening after work to keep R company and without having to go to bed before 9....

We're trying for a reclassification of our job, actually we're trying for a whole new classification from what we're classified at now and it's going to be a lot of work.. we have to break every service we provide down to every step in the process and with 198 services that's going to be one hell of a lot of work .. and the union guy told us to shoot for the end of the month to have it ready.. so it's going to mean on our own time because there's no way that we'll have the time to do it while waiting on 400 customers and learning the new computer program... ain't gonna happen... so I took some manuals home to write everything out ... but doubt that I'll get much done but at least I can be looking over the papers to see where we can break the stuff down into managable bits so that we can distribute amoungst the staff to work on.. we don't want to be duplicating the shit and waste more time than we need to ...

Well, at least it's Friday and I can sleep in tomorrow, how pathetic is that?...

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Can anyone tell me what this is...


Well first off I know it's some kind of a spider so you don't have to state the obvious but does anyone know what kind it is?.. I saw it in my flower bed this afternoon when I was weeding the garden and I wasn't sure what kind it was.. sure is pretty for a nasty little thing like a spider.. which I hate btw with a passion.. if anyone out there knows leave a message (if indeed anyone reads this stuff I write beside you David.. no offense.. I love that you read my stuff.. lol)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Rainy weekend... again....

Here it is the weekend again and it's raining.. figures... I made a half assed attempt to weed the flower beds yet again this afternoon and managed to get a wheelbarrel and a half of weeds and choking flowers out before it started to rain.. and even managed to weed a bit when it was raining until the dog decided that it was enough for her and yapped at the door until I let her in.. guess she has more brains than I do...

I tried out a sunless tanning lotion on my white chicken legs to see if I can get some color in them and I think that I bought a lotion that's too light ... or maybe I have to use it a few times before my legs start to look like they have a bit more color... I bought the light/medium kind because I didn't want to look like I was bathing in it... lol... I find that my legs are the worse for not tanning in the summer, I guess it's because I enjoy being out in the sun but I like DOING things outside, not sitting and soaking up the rays, and some of my medications recommend that I not get too much sun .. beside there's too many mosquitoes around here to do that ...

Monday, June 05, 2006

Continue of sig reference below

The whole weekend was rain, rain and more rain.. R decided it was time to get a new computer on Saturday so off we go to buy a new computer.. we drove to another city (I use the term city loosely because here on PEI the cities would constitute a town in any other Province).. and the guy, although hard to decifer his Jamacian accent, seemed to be very down to earth and above board and R got a computer, monitor and the software plus the guy is installing the hard drive from his old computer so that R can transfer the files over at his leasure... and the computer should be here either today or tomorrow..

As I mentioned above we've been having rain all weekend and it's played havoc with my arthritis.. maybe I can move to Florida or maybe the dessert of something... mmmnnnnahhhh.. I can't stand too much heat and the winters here give us a welcome break from the heat of the summer, the falls are beautiful and spring is to die for, the multitude of shades of green would take your breath away... I love spring on PEI.. so if we didn't have all four seasons I would go nutso (well more than usual)

Friday, June 02, 2006

Where is it?













Where oh where did my mind go?.. I'm lucky that I had the where-with-all to find my way home.. I'm sooo tired I could puke. I got a little glimpse of hell today, and we get to do it all over again on Monday.. but at least we have the weekend off to rest up.. and it should take the whole weekend for me to feel at least half human again.. and it's supposed to rain all weekend.. oh joy. oh bliss.. that's my son's Bassett in the siggy.. that's how I feel... will someone please carry me to bed?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Can you take this? Can you take this?.. how about this?

Today at work was a test.. to see how much shit we can take without snapping , turning on each other and gnawing our limbs off to escape the jaws of a huge government leg trap.. never mind the fact that we processed over a cool half mil in property tax payments in one day in addition to the other monies taken on for other departments.. does that mean anything to the government?.. do any of us 10 employees on the front lines get a bonus or even a token prize for handling over 400 hundred customers and raking in all that revenue?..

you bet ya.. we get to come in a half an hour earlier tomorrow because they are launching a new computer program.. and to top it off we have to stay after and do up the deposit using the aforementioned new program.. and being that we're multi-tasking, multiple government service providing, work till we drop fools without the right to strike we gotta grin and bear it and take lots of nice happy pills to get us through the day..

Ain't working grand.. and people wonder why I'm planning my retirement?... Am I crazy? Have I lost my mind? why people are lining up to replace me... NOT!.. for some strange reason they can't find people to work in our department.. do you think it might be because we're over worked and underpaid?... hmm maybe not..

Mainly it's because we're loved by the public like all other government workers and the fact that JQ Pubic will have to wait for a longer period while we learn the new system shouldn't upset them too much considering we have pampered them over the last few years to the point that if they have to wait an extra 10 minutes they're tapping their toes and looking at their watches ... so tomorrow and the weeks to come will really prepare me for my holidays.. do you think that I'd be able to take an extra month or so off instead of the two weeks that I have planned?

I wish the lottery corporation would hurry up and draw our numbers like they promised.. you can't depend on anyone....