Has it been that long?

Christmas is coming.. has it been that long since I last posted. You'll be happy to hear that Christmas came and went. Just a minute while I get a feather duster and get rid of some of the cobwebs. *cough cough*... very unsanitary leaving the place like this.. dust and spider webs everywhere....

Shall I go back in time or forward? I think I'll start here and go back, that way if I get bored then at least you'll be current on what's happening to me. Mmmm I have to go back on this particular item. Right before Christmas I signed up for some sessions at the diabetic clinic because my blood sugars were getting out of control and that has been going on for the last year or so.. I believe it is a combination of diet and stress. Later I got a phone call asking if I wanted to partake in a Clinical Study of a new diabetic medication. They put me through a barrage of tests and I should hear this week if I'm accepted. The thing about the medication is that it's also a weight loss medication so I well get double benefit.

Well off to bed. Will keep you *all updated.

*All meaning any possible person that may wander by and take a gander at my ramblings :)

Christmas is coming!!!

Ready or not.. here Christmas comes once again. It's just three weeks away. Where the heck did the summer go? I can't believe that I haven't worked (other than a couple of weeks) for nearly a year!! But now I'm retired and I have all the time in the world. I may put my tree up this weekend.. it might make me feel a little more festive.

I have been dealing with a virus in my computer. In getting rid of it I had to delete some files only to find out that they were false alarms. I know now that I should have put the files in the vault or tried to repair them instead of deleting them.. now they tell me!!

My house is finally finished..

The house is finally finished on the outside with new windows, siding and even a new storm door on the side. It really looks nice. And it is pretty well done on the inside, but are you ever really done?



Just a picture of some really weird carrots.. !!

Couple of pics of Tinka... Plus some random pics.

Picture taken the last of October.. everything is still so green!!


I took this picture and thought.. what the heck is that white speck in the field...



I discovered it was my cat, Penny, looking for mice... mmmm mice... and she likes to share..



Tinka saying.. "hurry up Mom!!"




I say that I'm taking her for a walk.. but sometimes it's the other way around..

Well it's the end of an era..

It's the end of an era, if you can call it that, what constitutes an era anyway? I'm meeting with the people at my employ to officially retire. I have been without any money coming in for 7 months and my appeal has been denied, yet again. I also took an allergic reaction to the latest medications that the doctor gave me for depression (how depressing it that?)... and the Steven Johnson's has come back.

So I will get a settlement from work of one week's pay for every year that I worked (16 years) ... so at least we can put some money back in my savings and pay off the credit cards that were piling up because of needing them for emergencies.

I feel at peace with the whole thing and maybe I can get some relief now that the pressure is off. So it's an ill wind as they say.

I decided I'm going to try my hand at creating 3D products for Poser. There will be a huge learning curve but I now have the time and the desire to try my hand at something new. I'll probably start with free items just to break into the market and once I improve on what I'm doing then I'll create some for sale items. My 2D artwork is popular and I'm using them a lot in my artwork as well.

When I was so depressed in the last few weeks I got involved in a bunch of applications on facebook.. it's great mind numbing entertainment but once I got to a point where I hit rock bottom and then came back up again I tired of it.. It was just depressing me again with all the virtual money I was making while the physical money wasn't there... : |

I'm really depressed about Christmas coming because I have no money for gifts... my daughter is very understanding but I don't know how the grandkids will deal with it.. Oh well, I guess they will have to deal with reality some time.. it took me long enough before I finally did.

HELLO.. HELLo..HELlo.. Hello.. hellooooo...

Wow.. gotta do some housecleaning and get rid of some of the cobwebs that have accumulated here over the last little while.. last post was a couple of months ago.

Well, my doctor put me off of work indefinitely.... I tried going back to work and was an emotional wreck because of the pain. My doctor also gave me an anti-depressants.. and it seems to be working somewhat.. I just upped the dose today after being on it for a week (doctor's orders).

I also sent in the appeal to the insurance company for the Long Term Disability.. I have a diagnosis from my chiropractor who saw the x-rays of my back and diagnosed it immediately. He also showed me the x-rays and even my untrained eye could see that my bottom vertebrae is tilted to the right, where all the pain originates. He said that my vertebrae is thinner on one side because of my degenerative condition and is pinching on the sciatic nerve. His recommendation is that I either have surgery or that I go on LTD. We'll see if his recommendation has any weight with the insurance company.. I'm not holding my breath.

My family doctor is trying to set me up with a surgeon who specializes in the spine to see if surgery is necessary. I think that being in pain for two years would constitute a need for surgery but we'll see how that goes.

On a lighter note, our new puppy, Tinkabelle or Tinka for short, is just so sweet and cuddly that it makes my day brighter just to be around her.. even if she does occasionally go to the bathroom in the house, even though we let her outside a dozen or so times a day.. *sigh*.. the joys of dog ownership... lol

Tinka's adventure into the big world...

some videos...

Tinka's new style of travel.. and Ron gets to carry a purse... :)

Some Pictures of Tinka

Good day my dear readers...

I am still here although I haven't wanted to bore you all with tales of my woes.. I'm still off of work so there is no money coming in and I'm getting desperate. I put a request in to return to work on a trial basis but apparently my doctor hasn't sent the papers back to my workplace yet.. also they have to find me a job that will accommodate my reduced abilities. I feel like I'm sinking in a sea of despair... now aren't you glad I've avoided sharing that little bit of cheer your way?...

On a brighter note we have gotten a little puppy (I know ... another one?)... well the last pup only lasted two weeks and he went back.. he was very destructive with chewing and messing all over the house. So we waited a while and now we have a hybrid pup.. part Shih Tzu and part Pekingese, and her name is TinkaBelle but we call her Tinka for short. She's tan and white and pretty smart and very adorable.. I'll post a couple of pictures of her so you can see what she looks like. Ron has her almost house broken and at 12 weeks that's pretty good I'd say.

Was to see the specialist once again.

I was to see the specialist once again to get the results of the CT scan.. I've now had a CT scan, a full bone scan and an MRI...

I have good news and bad news .. the good news is that it's not bone cancer that is causing my pain which the specialist was afraid of. The bad news is that it's not anything that can be fixed surgically and the specialist doesn't feel comfortable filling out the long term disability because he can't make a definitive diagnosis. So I asked him where that leaves me. He said that the pain will have to be managed somehow (and he couldn't seem to understand why I was upset, just thought that I should be elated that it wasn't cancer!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it's not cancer but I'm still frustrated with the pain. He is going to give me a cortisone shot on the 28th to see if that can help. I told him that I already had a cortisone shot and it didn't help, he said that he is going to give me a much stronger shot because if the shot isn't strong enough or isn't in the exact correct place then it may not work (encouraging eh?).

Also, the note that my family doctor gave me for the EI was only for the first of April so that is run out as well, I'm seeing her on the 27th to see if she can give me another note for the remaining 7 weeks I'm entitled to for EI and then hopefully the cortisone shot will work and I can get back to work next month some time.

The specialist as well is suggesting that I be enrolled in a pain management clinic. So after the shot hopefully I can start back to work. Send healing thoughts my way everyone.

Oh and just a side note: We took the pup, Bailey, back to the Humane Society because he was putting us in a lot of stress that we didn't need at this time.

Well the cat, Penny, told Bailey what for last night.. lol.. Bailey was wanting to play with her but Penny would have nothing of it.. Penny went up a few steps and Bailey was barking at her.. then Bailey started up the steps to play with her and Penny hauled back and swatted her on the nose a couple of times (Penny has no front claws so it scared Bailey more than anything.. lol)... Right now Bailey is at the bottom of the stairs and Penny is about three steps up and won't let Bailey come any further.. lol.. I don't think our cat is too happy with us peoples..

My Gawd! that dog chews a lot.. and puts everything in his mouth!.. you can't lay anything anywhere and he's into it.. and taking him for a walk you have to keep moving or he eats pebbles.. at least he doesn't mind you putting your fingers into his mouth to take stuff out... I hope this puppy stage doesn't last too long (I know.. yeah right.. lol)

Well we got through the first night with him.. he made it to the pee pads 50% of the time .. so we'll have a job getting him house-broken but he spent the night upstairs with Ron in his room and was really quiet all night with no whining so that's good.. he's teething so we have to keep an eye out that he doesn't destroy the furniture and offer him a chew toy when he gets to gnawing on something he's not supposed to .. I think that yesterday he was getting over the anesthetic from his surgery from the night before because he threw up a bit after we took him for a walk.. but he was excellent walking on the leash considering it was his first time!!!!

We have renamed him from Trouble to Bailey and he sure is one handsome boy.. and he'll have a lot more energy than our last little doggie... whether that's good or bad remains to be seen.. lol..

New member of the family..

Well it's been a month, almost to the day, that we had to put our Missy down. We had went to the humane society of PEI and were looking at dogs but I think that we were trying to get another Missy. That wasn't fair to the dogs or to us. So when we saw a litter of pups come up for adoption we (make that me) decided that we would go for something completely different instead .. this is Trouble and he's a part smooth collie and part mutt.. he had been well socialized and gets along with cats. He's going to get a lot bigger than our little Missy was but than again Ron will be able to take him on walks and he will actually be able to keep up unlike Missy who would be great going but not coming home, she would normally drag behind. I'm looking forward to having another dog in the house but not looking forward to the house training.. pooo pooo ewwwy.. lol..

We're back and forth on getting a dog. We went to the spca shortly after we lost Missy to look at dogs but I think that it was too soon. I sent an email to a dog breeder friend about her keeping an eye out for us on a dog but she hasn't gotten back to me on that yet. There is an interesting dog on the spca web page right now called Harmony that we may have a look at (she's good with cats which is a plus for us because of Penny the cat, poor thing, has put up a lot with Sophie and then Missy). We'll just have to wait and if the right dog is out there we will know it when we see it.

On Penny, she's such a patient cat, when we were giving them both a treat, Missy was the one who gulped her food before it hit the floor and Penny was daintily eating hers and Missy would take the food right out of Penny's mouth and Penny wouldn't do a thing, not hiss or growl, just let Missy do whatever she wanted. And Missy was so jealous of Penny that if Penny started to go towards me Missy would push at her feet with her muzzle like she was herding sheep and Penny would just walk away from me without putting up a fuss. Now Penny has all of my attention and she's getting so cuddly, sitting on my lap in the evening while I'm watching TV.

That's the main reason why we are taking our time with getting another dog because we want to be sure it will get along with Penny.

Yet more tests coming...

Just got back from the specialist and I'm still no further ahead.. from the MRI they detected, in the lumbar area where there is some pinching of the nerves that come out but not to the extent that surgery is required.. but in my hip area there was an inflammation showing up from the bone scan that he is going to follow up on.. so in for more tests.. this tiime a CT scan of that area.. he's going to put urgent on it because of the long wait I've had up to this point.. so he said I may get a call this week and to contact them as soon as I get my call so that they can schedule a follow up appointment.. oh and the cancer thing was a mistake... whew.. which I figured it was anyway..

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...I'm not sure if I want there to be something operable or not... my brother has had back surgeries and he said avoid an operation at all costs.. his operation didn't hold ... so I'm sort of torn about the whole thing... it would be nice to have an operation and have everything taken care of but at the same time it would be good to be able to fix it without surgery (say with proper physiotherapy)... So I'll know shortly and then next Monday I see the specialist to get the results of my MRI on my lumbar spine... My stomach is in knots right now.. I hate the unknown!!!!
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Back home and this is what I found out!!!


Now that was a bizarre, unsettling appointment... first off the results of the bone scan showed some inflammation (no big surprise there) but no pinpoint of what was causing it.. I go Monday to see that specialist on the MRI.. but while I was there my doctor asked me if I had a chest x-ray done when I went in for the bone scan and I told her not as far as I know. Then she proceeded to tell me that there was a notation of CA lung which in doctor's terms meant lung cancer... she asked me if the specialist had mentioned lung cancer to me.. I told her no and so she said that it suggested x-rays so she sent me to the hospital to get them done and put a notation on it that she believes there was an error on the bone scan form (she suggested that maybe they couldn't make out his writing.. why in heavens name don't they have multiple choice forms where they can check off what they need done or else learn how to write legibly?). So off I trot to get the x-rays done which thankfully were quick and painless and in Canada is covered by medicare .. now I have to wait until Monday to see what the specialist says...

You may wonder if it's worth while to be entering contests on the net, or not if you're not aware of the 3D contest-entering world... besides perfecting your craft there are many many prizes to be won.. since I started entering competitions and having pictures picked for Picture Of The Week at websites devoted to 3D art.. (the first winning I see as December of 2007 but there could have been one or two before that) ... anyway.. in that little over a year I've won approximately $1075.00 worth of prizes!!!!!!!!!! Now if that isn't an incentive to enter some contests I don't know what is... lol...

Oh and I probably have many more times that in freebies from Daz since I joined in 2006 and started getting their newsletter... in fact there is only a small portion of my total runtime that I've had to pay for..

OK.. I just went through all of my Daz product to see the value of the items I got for free (I know.. but I don't have something better to do.. ) and it's mind boggling.. I got a total of $1919.30 of items completely free since October of 2006 and I know that there were periods of time that I didn't get any items because I was without a computer. There are a few items that are no longer available so I have no idea what the value of them are so we'll say that the value would be topping the $2000.00 mark... Also, from Daz3D I spent $166.80 and that includes the Platinum Club membership and two renewals.. so I actually spent $120.85 on actual products over the span of my membership and in addition to all the freebies I saved $1240.00 on products.. so I have saved at least $3160.00 in Daz products that I spent $166.80 to get.. I'd say that was pretty good return on my money don't you think?

So to sum it all up I have $3160 free from Daz plus the 1075.00 in prizes so that the value of the product that I didn't have to pay for is around $4235.00 give or take a few dollars... wow.. that blows me away big time.. I'm on a very tight budget so I don't have a lot of money to spend on all of this stuff but I have a humongous amount of product free.. WOW... gotta love the 3d world eh?

The Mail That Made Me Cry

Ron went out and checked the mail and there was a sympathy card from the vet's office (it had doggies on the front and With Heartfelt Sympathy on the Loss of Your Friend as a caption) with this hand written inside..

"Dear Ron and Kathy, You did the best you could and it is unfortunate Missy didn't understand. Then, in the end, you made the only kind decision. Our sympathy is with you in your loss... "

It was signed by all the staff... Makes me cry all over again to read it...

Oh and my niece Donna had given me a sympathy card and a little white doggy statue to put on my computer desk right after we lost Missy... that made me cry too... :*(

We went last week to the humane society to adopt another dog but our hearts just weren't in it.. the dogs were cute but not our Missy.. will take us a while to not compare a new dog with her.. if it ever comes about.

Our cat Penny is a lot more relaxed without a dog in the house.. I think that she was getting stressed (although she liked to torture the dog with her antics.. lol).

We made the hardest decision of my life yesterday.

We decided that it would be best all around to have Missy put down. Our vet agreed with us because of Missy's unusual sensitivity in her skin even on the scruff of her neck which is usually not sensitive at all and the fact that the insulin shots and the resulting strain on us and Missy was not good for any of us. We took her in and had a long talk with the vet explaining her reactions to getting the needle (he had first hand knowledge of her sensitivity) then told him that to have her put down would be the most humane thing to do and he agreed saying that she wouldn't understand why someone who has been so good to her would be putting her through so much pain every day. She was becoming cross and starting to nip at us if we put our hands near her neck. We were unable to give her the shot the day before because of her violent reaction to getting the needle and the resulting bending of the needle tip when we tried to get it into her. We said our goodbyes and both of us broke down and I'm still in mourning for our sweet little girl. Even though we knew it was for the best it's still tearing my heart out. It will be a long time before we ever get another dog, if ever. Thank goodness we have our cat Penny to help ease the pain somewhat although she's getting old too (she's 10 years old and an outside cat).