Well, I'm gonna start whining so if you don't wanna see it I would suggest you close this message (and it ain't a pretty sight so I don't blame you)..

As many of you know I have a problem with my hip, right leg and back because of sciatica. Well, I have been going to see a chiropractor because physiotherapy wasn't working and for a while it was working great.. now.. not so much..

Lately I'm in a lot of pain again, I find it hard to concentrate and I'm getting really bad headaches and my neck is constantly aching. Yesterday when I went back to the chiropractor he said that my right leg is starting to lose it's strength again and he checked out me neck and it turns out my neck is also out of alignment. I feel on the verge of tears most days and the depression is starting to set in again because I can't see an end in sight.

I see the specialist in two weeks time and if he tells me there is nothing they can do for me I'll have a big time pity party and you are all invited. I know there are other people in here that are suffering with chronic pain and some worse than me and I don't know how you cope day to day.. I know mine isn't life threatening like some in here who have coped amazingly well with what life has thrown at them.. But we are, after all, pretty self absorbed creatures and most times can't see beyond our little world of self indulgence, so I am wallowing for a while.

Most days I feel like a failure because I have been missing a lot of work again because of the pain. I can't take anti-inflammatories because I am allergic to them and so mostly I've been trying to cope without the aid of drug treatments. So if I'm quiet at times you will know what it's about..

If I didn't have my poser/3d creating to do and shut real life out I don't know what I'd do.. mostly I just want to crawl in a hole and hybernate most days...

So the whining is over for today.. thank you for listening/reading and you may go back to your regularly scheduled programming.. Kathryn