Growing up

I had a doctor's appointment today for a followup on the fact that I had increased my dosage of Victoza the last time from .6 mg to 1.2 mg, so it's been doubled.  I still haven't started to lose weight again but good news is that my blood sugars are back down into the normal range.  Normal is below 7 and my readings on my A1C's were 6.4, down from my last readings which were 6.9 so they were on the verge of being over normal.  So that gave me some comfort. 

I told Michelle, the nurse who has been with me during this whole process and who is a nurse practitioner, that I'm unsure what I should do, whether I should increase the Victoza again to the highest dosage of 1.8 [which will be very expensive] or stay on the dosage I'm on now and see if I can get my head in the right place to start eating right.  She told me it's entirely up to me whether I should do that or not but that I'm on the injections mainly for my blood sugars and that it is doing the job because my blood sugars are perfectly normal.  She also said that I'm being too hard on myself and that I know what to do because I've done it before and that is to get my eating back on track. 

I agree that it's something that I have to work out in my head and that the Victoza is not going to do it for me, I have to do the work.  I also feel like there is a weight lifted off of my shoulders because, even though I'm not eating properly, the medication is working and imagine how much better it will work once I take control of my life again.  Losing the weight isn't the end of it, it's just the beginning because the rest of my life I will have to be diligent to maintain the weight loss because I know how easy it is to slip back into the old habits and to put the weight back on before you know it, even to the point of gaining more weight.

I know that I don't have to rush to take the weight off today because it took me 60 years to put it on and what makes me think that I could take it off in a couple of months?  Pretty arrogant I'd say.. lol.   I've been struggling since I came off of the clinical study with my cravings and my mind set that I'm somehow entitled to eat whatever I want.  Crazy thinking that I've been trying hard to overcome.  In a way it was a mixed blessing that the first injections worked so well so quickly because I've been expecting these ones to do the same so that I don't even have to try.. well it's been a rude awakening but a learning experience as well.  I don't know, I may finally be growing up, maybe?