New member of the family..

Well it's been a month, almost to the day, that we had to put our Missy down. We had went to the humane society of PEI and were looking at dogs but I think that we were trying to get another Missy. That wasn't fair to the dogs or to us. So when we saw a litter of pups come up for adoption we (make that me) decided that we would go for something completely different instead .. this is Trouble and he's a part smooth collie and part mutt.. he had been well socialized and gets along with cats. He's going to get a lot bigger than our little Missy was but than again Ron will be able to take him on walks and he will actually be able to keep up unlike Missy who would be great going but not coming home, she would normally drag behind. I'm looking forward to having another dog in the house but not looking forward to the house training.. pooo pooo ewwwy.. lol..

We're back and forth on getting a dog. We went to the spca shortly after we lost Missy to look at dogs but I think that it was too soon. I sent an email to a dog breeder friend about her keeping an eye out for us on a dog but she hasn't gotten back to me on that yet. There is an interesting dog on the spca web page right now called Harmony that we may have a look at (she's good with cats which is a plus for us because of Penny the cat, poor thing, has put up a lot with Sophie and then Missy). We'll just have to wait and if the right dog is out there we will know it when we see it.

On Penny, she's such a patient cat, when we were giving them both a treat, Missy was the one who gulped her food before it hit the floor and Penny was daintily eating hers and Missy would take the food right out of Penny's mouth and Penny wouldn't do a thing, not hiss or growl, just let Missy do whatever she wanted. And Missy was so jealous of Penny that if Penny started to go towards me Missy would push at her feet with her muzzle like she was herding sheep and Penny would just walk away from me without putting up a fuss. Now Penny has all of my attention and she's getting so cuddly, sitting on my lap in the evening while I'm watching TV.

That's the main reason why we are taking our time with getting another dog because we want to be sure it will get along with Penny.

Yet more tests coming...

Just got back from the specialist and I'm still no further ahead.. from the MRI they detected, in the lumbar area where there is some pinching of the nerves that come out but not to the extent that surgery is required.. but in my hip area there was an inflammation showing up from the bone scan that he is going to follow up on.. so in for more tests.. this tiime a CT scan of that area.. he's going to put urgent on it because of the long wait I've had up to this point.. so he said I may get a call this week and to contact them as soon as I get my call so that they can schedule a follow up appointment.. oh and the cancer thing was a mistake... whew.. which I figured it was anyway..

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...

In an hour I go to my doctor to get the results of my bone scan...I'm not sure if I want there to be something operable or not... my brother has had back surgeries and he said avoid an operation at all costs.. his operation didn't hold ... so I'm sort of torn about the whole thing... it would be nice to have an operation and have everything taken care of but at the same time it would be good to be able to fix it without surgery (say with proper physiotherapy)... So I'll know shortly and then next Monday I see the specialist to get the results of my MRI on my lumbar spine... My stomach is in knots right now.. I hate the unknown!!!!
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Back home and this is what I found out!!!


Now that was a bizarre, unsettling appointment... first off the results of the bone scan showed some inflammation (no big surprise there) but no pinpoint of what was causing it.. I go Monday to see that specialist on the MRI.. but while I was there my doctor asked me if I had a chest x-ray done when I went in for the bone scan and I told her not as far as I know. Then she proceeded to tell me that there was a notation of CA lung which in doctor's terms meant lung cancer... she asked me if the specialist had mentioned lung cancer to me.. I told her no and so she said that it suggested x-rays so she sent me to the hospital to get them done and put a notation on it that she believes there was an error on the bone scan form (she suggested that maybe they couldn't make out his writing.. why in heavens name don't they have multiple choice forms where they can check off what they need done or else learn how to write legibly?). So off I trot to get the x-rays done which thankfully were quick and painless and in Canada is covered by medicare .. now I have to wait until Monday to see what the specialist says...

You may wonder if it's worth while to be entering contests on the net, or not if you're not aware of the 3D contest-entering world... besides perfecting your craft there are many many prizes to be won.. since I started entering competitions and having pictures picked for Picture Of The Week at websites devoted to 3D art.. (the first winning I see as December of 2007 but there could have been one or two before that) ... anyway.. in that little over a year I've won approximately $1075.00 worth of prizes!!!!!!!!!! Now if that isn't an incentive to enter some contests I don't know what is... lol...

Oh and I probably have many more times that in freebies from Daz since I joined in 2006 and started getting their newsletter... in fact there is only a small portion of my total runtime that I've had to pay for..

OK.. I just went through all of my Daz product to see the value of the items I got for free (I know.. but I don't have something better to do.. ) and it's mind boggling.. I got a total of $1919.30 of items completely free since October of 2006 and I know that there were periods of time that I didn't get any items because I was without a computer. There are a few items that are no longer available so I have no idea what the value of them are so we'll say that the value would be topping the $2000.00 mark... Also, from Daz3D I spent $166.80 and that includes the Platinum Club membership and two renewals.. so I actually spent $120.85 on actual products over the span of my membership and in addition to all the freebies I saved $1240.00 on products.. so I have saved at least $3160.00 in Daz products that I spent $166.80 to get.. I'd say that was pretty good return on my money don't you think?

So to sum it all up I have $3160 free from Daz plus the 1075.00 in prizes so that the value of the product that I didn't have to pay for is around $4235.00 give or take a few dollars... wow.. that blows me away big time.. I'm on a very tight budget so I don't have a lot of money to spend on all of this stuff but I have a humongous amount of product free.. WOW... gotta love the 3d world eh?

The Mail That Made Me Cry

Ron went out and checked the mail and there was a sympathy card from the vet's office (it had doggies on the front and With Heartfelt Sympathy on the Loss of Your Friend as a caption) with this hand written inside..

"Dear Ron and Kathy, You did the best you could and it is unfortunate Missy didn't understand. Then, in the end, you made the only kind decision. Our sympathy is with you in your loss... "

It was signed by all the staff... Makes me cry all over again to read it...

Oh and my niece Donna had given me a sympathy card and a little white doggy statue to put on my computer desk right after we lost Missy... that made me cry too... :*(

We went last week to the humane society to adopt another dog but our hearts just weren't in it.. the dogs were cute but not our Missy.. will take us a while to not compare a new dog with her.. if it ever comes about.

Our cat Penny is a lot more relaxed without a dog in the house.. I think that she was getting stressed (although she liked to torture the dog with her antics.. lol).

We made the hardest decision of my life yesterday.

We decided that it would be best all around to have Missy put down. Our vet agreed with us because of Missy's unusual sensitivity in her skin even on the scruff of her neck which is usually not sensitive at all and the fact that the insulin shots and the resulting strain on us and Missy was not good for any of us. We took her in and had a long talk with the vet explaining her reactions to getting the needle (he had first hand knowledge of her sensitivity) then told him that to have her put down would be the most humane thing to do and he agreed saying that she wouldn't understand why someone who has been so good to her would be putting her through so much pain every day. She was becoming cross and starting to nip at us if we put our hands near her neck. We were unable to give her the shot the day before because of her violent reaction to getting the needle and the resulting bending of the needle tip when we tried to get it into her. We said our goodbyes and both of us broke down and I'm still in mourning for our sweet little girl. Even though we knew it was for the best it's still tearing my heart out. It will be a long time before we ever get another dog, if ever. Thank goodness we have our cat Penny to help ease the pain somewhat although she's getting old too (she's 10 years old and an outside cat).

Giving Missy her shots has become a major stress all around

We are at the end of our ropes with giving Missy her shots. She has refused to allow us to do it and today the needle got bent because she struggles so violently when we try to give her the shots. Her skin is abnormally tender, her skin is very taught causing it to be difficult to pinch the skin to raise it up for the shot and the vet has said that he has never had a dog mind having a shot in the scruff of it's neck like Missy minds having one in hers. She even yelps when you pinch the skin gently in between your fingers. If it was just giving her the shots and she tolerated it there would be no problem but we are stressing all the way around now and we have to make a difficult decision tomorrow about whether we are prepared to continue on with it or let her go. She can't not have her insulin and I don't know if the stress we are putting her though and us through means that she will have any quality of life.

My back/hip has increased in pain because of the stress and I'm ending up having to take more Demerol as a result and I think I might be developing an ulcer. If we do decide to put her down it will devastate us both but if we don't what kind of a life is that for us as well. It may seem like we are selfish but I don't see it that way.. we gave it a good go at trying to do this for her sake. It just didn't work out.

Just a little addition to the previous post

Just a little addition to the previous post.. I know before if I ever heard of anyone who had an animal the was diabetic I thought (I'd never give an animal insulin shots.. I'd put the animal down first).... ahhhh the old "NEVER"... famous last words... lol

Our Missy has diabetes

Missy has been feeling unwell now for a couple of weeks and has been throwing up.. so yesterday we took her to the vet and had blood tests run. The vet thought it was diabetes with the possibility of Cushings Disease because of some of the symptoms.. Poor Missy had to have a muzzle put on her so that she wouldn't bit the nurse of doctor when they took a vial of blood out of her little skinny leg.. she looked like she was going to smother because she couldn't get her mouth open to pant and dogs don't do well with breathing through their noses.. When I got home yesterday I was beside myself with being upset.. the tests for the Cushings are very expensive (200 to 300 dollars just for the tests) and since I'm laid off on sick unemployment we were thinking that we would have to have her put down if it came to having to have multiple, expensive tests done on her..

This morning..

We had her to the vet this morning to have her first insulin shot and to have an antibiotic because she had a fever yesterday and from talking with the vet for an hour (and this is a Sunday to boot.. he had to go in and tend to the animals in the clinic so got us to go in and he charged us the regular visit fee) and I'm feeling a lot better about it... the threat of Cushings Disease is not looming over us as much.. he seemed to think that her diabetes is the main problem.. poor little Missy was just vibrating with fear when we took her in because of yesterday's experience.. but she took the needles well and now we have her home.. we have to give her a shot once a day because it's the slow release kind and he started her on a low dose for a few days to see how she tolerates it.. her blood sugars were more than double what they should be so she is definitely a diabetic... he said her liver is effected but hopes it will start functioning better once the insulin takes effect.

So hopefully she will return to a more normal life once everything levels out.. I guess at first Ron will have to give her her insulin shots but I will have to get over my fear of needles so that I can giver her her shot if he's not around.

My back is just killing me this morning and I had to take a Demerol when we got home because of the pain.. stress will tend to make my back worse and this morning and yesterday were BIG stress inducers..

Turn Around is Fair Play

Our cat Penny has a new way to torture our dog Missy. Missy is getting old and has a hard time maneuvering the stairs and takes a few moments to get started so usually I go upstairs first and know that she will be along in a few seconds.. but lately she's been standing at the bottom of the stairs and whining and when we go and look, here's Penny laying fully across the third or fourth step so that Missy can't get past her.. she gets really pissed off when we tell her to move too.. I have to say here that Missy has been chasing Penny since we got her almost so I guess this is Penny's way of getting to the top of the pecking order (literally).

More on the home front

First off, my doctor put me off of work for another two months until I get back to see the specialist. So I've had to apply for sick unemployment to carry my through until then. That must have been the hardest decision that I've had to make in my life. I was so stressed out about it that I got two huge cold sores on my mouth. Not a pretty sight but at least I'm not out and about much for people to see it.. lol. I had used up all of my sick time at work so if I took any more time off I would have to do it without pay and every morning now I wake up in pain and need to take Demerol so I can't function taking that. So here I sit..

My items are selling well at Renderosity, especially my wolves and my mind is bursting with other possible things to sell. I really love the whole concept and hope that I can come up with stuff that people will want to buy.

I went in for what I thought was an MRI on Monday but it turns out it was a bone scan instead. The machine that took the scan was all open on the sides so no fear of becoming claustrophobic the actual MRI on my lumbar spine on March the 3rd with an appointment with the specialist on the 16th to get my results. So my options are, go on long term disability, get fixed up or retire..

Missy had her haircut..

We braved the cold to take Missy in for her haircut.. we made sure we brought her little knitted sweater with us so that she would be warm afterwards.. at first she was a little miffed at us but now she's much better... Here's a before and after picture and a picture taken of her with her boyfriend Lovett who lives just down the street..








There's a story that goes with Missy and Lovett.. When we first got Missy, when we took her for a walk down the road, she'd growl at Lovett when he would come out to greet us. Lovett is so friendly and has been in love with Missy from first sight. I don't know all the detail of Missy before we got her but I don't think that she was socialized much with other dogs... she's usually very passive with other dogs on their property (don't let them come near HER property tho'..lol).. but with Lovett she wouldn't tolerate him, even on his property and she's growl at him and generally be a bitch... lol... But eventually she would put up with his smelling her and inviting her to play with an aloof indifference while Lovett would be all happy, bouncing love dog..

Gradually she got that she even would give him a tail wag and an occasionally a bark hello. Now I think that she's in love with him too.. she runs to greet him and races with him around the clay track where we walk (Lovett's owner has a clay track where they exercise their race horses).. It's so good to see Missy finally know how to play with another dog. So when we finally get back to see him she'll be able to show off her new haircut. Lovett will fall in love all over again...

Working on another product for my store

I have the angel wings and now the foxes in the store at Renderosity and I can put one more thing in there as well so I decided that I would do up some wolves. I'm going to have a total of 10 wolf figures like this one attached and I was trying to decide between $8.00 and $10.00 per pack and decided to split the difference and charge $9.00... I've had some good response on them so far where I showed them in a group I belong to.. So if I can make some extra pocket change then that would be great..

Got a haircut...

I picked today, the coldest day of the winter so far to get a haircut. My hair had gotten really long and since I have a short neck I find that shorter hair suits me better... also my hair is painfully fine so any kind of sweeping, french braid type hairstyle lays so flat against my head that it looks like my hair is painted on.. not a good look. Since my back/hip has been bothering me for so long I have lost interest in dying my hair to cover the grey so I had been letting it grow out. So all the artificial color is now gone and I gotta admit that there isn't THAT much grey ... just a little bit on my left bangs and the temple on that side (odd I know but then again I'm odd) so I don't see a need to dye my hair in the near future.. maybe I'll give that up for a while..

And we have an appointment to get our little poodle, Missy's hair cut tomorrow.. we're taking her little winter jacket with us because it's supposed to be another bitterly cold day tomorrow with a wind chill factor of -40 degrees celcius... brrrr... but she's getting matted and so we decided to invest in a clip and a shampoo tomorrow for her.. As she's getting older she minds going to the groomer more than she did when she was a bit younger... we all get grouchy when we get older...

Well I now have a storefront at Renderosity

This is so exciting.. just click the link and you can see my store (as of this moment I only have one item in there but hope to have the second in there soon)... my store front ... they have a half a million customers so hopefully I can make bunches of sales..

Continuing with the commerce news..

I also have a huge package of the angel wings in both light and dark colors that I'm putting in the renderosity store.. if they pass testing I'll end up with my own store in there and I'll post the link to that if and when that happens.. here's some promo pictures for that combined set..








Here's a picture I made using the midnight pink wings.. click on it and the other pictures to get the full effect..

OK.. more on my commerce ....

I have the foxes at one store.. the link is here ..

I also have come up with some angel wings.. they went up in the store yesterday and the link for them is here ... They are angel wings that are in psd format and what, you may ask can you do with them?.. well this... for one (see below) .. lol.. The wings went in the store last night and I heard that there was a sale of one set already.. I also did some dark wings that will be in the store as well in the next day or so...

First off my MRI

I got word that I go in for my MRI the 2nd of February and I have to go back to the specialist on the 20th of February. So I'm moving forward with this at least. But that's not saying there is anything that the doctor can do for me. We'll have to wait and see.

Tried going for a tiny little walk yesterday.. only a 5 minute one but it's better than nothing as they say.

Well another year has started and I have begun the new year being put off work for a month by my doctor (guess she got tired of me going in and blubbering all over her examining table). I finally got in to see the specialist and he thinks it's more in my back than my hip.. maybe a pinched nerve.. he will know more once I get the MRI done. So I'm waiting impatiently for my letter from the hospital telling me when I can go in and have it done. Since I've been off and take the Demerol I feel a lot better, in fact sometimes I think that I should be able to go back to work.. but then I have a morning like this morning and my back and hip are giving me grief again... so what can I say.. life sucks sometimes.. but it could be worse..

Since I'm at home with time on my hands I've been designing some 2d items and getting them ready for market.. besides the foxes (which are in one small online store already) I have designed and am getting packaged up some angel wings.. I'll post the promo picture here once I have it all done up. I'm going to put them in a huge online store for 2d and 3d items called Renderosity. May only make a few dollars on them but I should be able to support my creative addiction with what I can make... lol..

Below is a picture that I created with some of my 3d items I purchased or won.. Pretty well all of the items, the character textures and morphs, the hair and the clothing I got from winning on line competitions so lately I've not had to buy too much for my Daz or Poser addiction..

In the last month or so I've won a half a dozen competions with the total prize amount in the hundreds of dollars in product.. too bad it isn't cold hard cash.. but at least it's saved me from spending lots of the cold hard stuff..